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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sodomy, the Pastor's Wife, Borat: Sex Tip #9...Anal Almost Equals Oral Sex

OK. I went to see Borat several weeks ago. Mostly funny. A bit long though. I'll watch his show though.

I went with Barry. We've been hanging out more. I have a scorecard to share too before I get into my story.

Sex with Barry: many many times over the last 8 months.

Sex with Vicky and John: twice now, once with Barry there too, when I bought my new scuba cut bathing suit. More on that later.

Sex with Holly: one tentative time [I didn't climax], one time with Barry too, one not so tentative time [I climaxed twice], once with Holly and her buddy, the man whose bed she sleeps in and/so doesn't have to pay rent in Vancouver this summer.

Sodomy: 7 times.

And this is the tip. Vaginal intercourse is what it is. Oral sex, blowing boys, is what it is. Anal sex, Barry's penis in my bum, is on par with oral sex.

That's my conclusion.

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash. That's what I hear is the old British Navy. Funny.

Sodomy in the Bible is pretty precise. And I think it's all about keeping boys from boning other boys.

And I know very well that Holly isn't into bum stuff. And I know that my first post in here had some dancing around the bum thing. And Barry had never done anal before me either. And eventually we just tried it. Took some practice. Felt a little odd. We found our rhythm. And it is sweet. And I love Holly and respect her bum and it's hers to do with as she pleases. Yeah for bums!

So we've gone all anal. And we still do other things, but bum fun is fun. That's it. Nice climaxes. For both of us.

So Borat.

We went out to a big theatre to see Borat. Lots of shows there. We pay for tickets and walk in. We're winding around lines and things wanting to get seats before food.

Barry's walking behind me as we hit a traffic jam. He bumps my bum with his cock as we slide beside the line, ducking past a big cardboard movie poster. And he says loud enough for anyone to hear [if they're close by], "Want it in your bum tonight?" And I'm nodding and smiling.

And since no one is around, we're fine.

Except.

Except our youth pastor's wife is standing behind the cardboard movie poster and hears it all. And as Barry is saying it, I'm looking the other way. And I hear the abrupt ceasing of a conversation coming from behind the big poster. So I look over and see her. And a friend of hers who I don't like because she has virtually no personality [at least in my presence].

And we just keep walking because Barry doesn't really know her and I don't let on. Though my face turns red as my hair. So I tell him it all when we get seats. I'm looking around and they don't come in. No surprise they're not seeing Borat.

And Barry is just loving it. And off he goes to get food.

And I sit there thinking, just what is wrong with sodomy anyway, when I'm a woman. :)

And I don't want to get all theological and everything. Holly's good and whipping through the history of the church to let me know what backstory explains parts of the Bible. But I don't care.

And I don't care what my pastor's wife thinks of my anal sex. A tiny bit of me cares but the rest is out to end that little bit.

And Barry sure doesn't care.

And my sex tip is for Holly and all other girls who are scared off of anal sex because of anti gayboy stuff in the Bible. Try it. If you like it, AWESOME. If you don't, you can let it go.

And if you don't want to try it, great. Respect your own feelings. Holly does. And even though I even showed her the picture we took of Barry in my bum, and she liked it, she's still not game. And I totally respect her for that.

In dreams,
Tina

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont worry Holly, chances are that the Pastors wife is taking it up the pipe anyway....

Anonymous said...

thanks dave, i'll pass that on to tina. yer probly right

Anonymous said...

Too funny about the youth pastor. Very "Seinfeld like" with the timing on everything.

I agree with your "like oral" take on anal sex.

Done right it is what it is and very enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

yes, and despite tina's continual arguments, i'm still not at the place to see it as the same as oral.

agreeing to disagree: the charm of life.

Jay a.k.a. 'Dat' said...

very interesting... a chick that loves anal after finding her groove. tell tina that was interesting... thanks!

Jay
DatCurious.com

Anonymous said...

truth, i will!

in touch,
holly