Commited to Virginity or Just Not to Him?

so, june was housesitting and it went into july a bit. then me and a bud from ubc, who i liked but just as a friend, got together for bellinis a couple times and he invited me up to sunshine valley just past hope.

his family has a place on a stream there. they're pretty cool. dad's in real estate in langley and is a charismatic christian. mom's into saddles. she seems pretty grounded. bro is into timbits at tim's. he says he makes tens of thousands each day. whatever. :)

so we're up there for most of july. got back yesterday to sleep on some more couches. my sweetie char gets me for a while i guess. you rock, char!

i did the math and i think i could pretty much skip the couches and ride cocks the rest of the summer until the journey to school again. not that i'd let someone fuck me for a place to stay, but i know enough worthy fellows to spend more time on futons than couches with too wooden arms. but i won't. not because of anything but i don't feel like it.

sunshine valley has a pool. me and bud and his bro spent some time there most days before and after his folks went back to the city last wednesday. while there we met "sanna", a gorgeous fijian chick who was also there with her family. her family also goes to a charismatic church. her brothers were much younger than her, like 8 and 10 years so she was really bored and we started to hang out, the four of us.

sanna liked bud's dad cuz they talked about the spirit alot. my sense of the spirit is quite different, but they're cool and i got alot of insight about their way of being in it. that's cool.

she hung out with us for a few days before bud's folks took off. we'd play scrabble, hang at the pool, sit in the stream, hike a bit. whatever.

and me and sanna had some great talks sitting in the stream or at the pool. she's 20. turns 21 in august. we're going to sandbar for some goodtimes. her bf is a nice guy she says. he sounds like it. she's had a few before him, she went all the way with her first a few times before she got saved. but this guy, who's also fijian [for whatever that's worth] and charismatic wants to have sex with her and she doesn't. she's a born again virgin. and she's been doing well since the first bf. but this guy's realllllly into getting her to say yes. she says he says he is too, but this is different. i can see that...she's a pretty awesome chick.

she's like all over how nice he is and everything, which is so nice, but there's always this lingering "but" in the air that she can't name. so i say, what's the "but" and she says there is none. for a few days. and finally, she goes, even if she were interested in having sex, she wouldn't do it with him even though she really likes him. i wait and wait and wait and she finally goes, he's just not physically appealing to her. he's attractive, she says, but not to the point where she's all gonzo.

anyway, bud's folks head home and we stay. we swing into hope for some booze and bud, not bud, but bc bud. and head back. sanna's hanging out alot and the first night, bud goes from just a friend from ubc a few years ago to a splendid cock to ride. lotsa luving. by the weekend i was riding bud and bro and things were quite nice. walking around in the cabin by the stream wearing just a tshirt, enjoying the freedom of virtual nudity. there's a walking trail between the cabin and the stream so we can't go all buff. and sunday, sanna's over for the day while her family went into hope for church and walking othello tunnels and we get some drinking in and sanna becomes SANNA.

now i'm not saying born again virginity is a joke. it's not. i respect it and people who attempt it. i don't agree with its necessity, but that's not the point. people do as they do. and that's cool. same with me.

but after all the talking a few days earlier, sanna's final part of the story is that she's not as commited to the born again virgin thing as she had been. but she wasn't interested in breaking it with her bf. but she wasn't really aware of that in her mind.

SANNA came out on sunday after a good amount of pear cider and i like to think hanging with us, bud and bro in trunks and me in my long orange shirt and even though i'm not so busty, i think i put in an erotic tone to it all. she and i didn't fuck, but i think i wore off on her. at any rate, when bud was sitting on the couch, i sat on his lap and he started grinding, which was subtle at first cuz sanna was there. but it got past subtle and i just got into it and bud's hands got me off under my shirt.

and sanna became SANNA on bud's bro as she plunked down on his lap too. before i came, i opened my eyes and came up for air to see SANNA sitting on the chair, shorts and bikini bottoms on the floor and bud's bro's tongue all the way inside her pussy and one hand rubbing one of her boobs that had been released from its top. she has the blackest labia i've ever seen! absolutely gorgeous.

then me and bud retired to a bedroom to keep it on and let them go too. their grooving for several days i guess set them up for some booze and play. good for them! i knew they were casual, but i wouldn't have predicted that.

i felt all sorts of things in the following three days. i enjoyed bud. i liked his bro, but bud's better at his cock play. but whatever. both of them are very special guys. i really like and respect them. but i ended up [not surprisingly i guess] envying bud's bro cuz he got to get into sanna so well. she's very attractive, has a sweet soul, talks well, has a sly but not mean sense of humour, and is just outgoing enough. and i think as much as deedee doodle is hot, she's not a "real" person in "real" life like sanna is. or char. and i don't know if sanna's into girls. we never got that far in talking.

we're gonna meet saturday night at jericho to hang on the beach and pick up some of the folk fest sounds. and i don't wanna just pounce my idea on her, but i do need to drop the rest of my truths on her to see where she's at.

but she threw me a bit this past week. i was seeing her as a woman in a bit of confusion about guys and sex and stuff and i didn't want to lay a package of stuff on her, just be there for her as a friend. and it was when she was doing bud's bro that i started to feel more for her than i had earlier in the week. not that that's bad, i think. i was really concerned about helping her understand her and the born again virgin thing verses whether she wanted to sleep with her bf [they broke up this afternoon. no shock]. and i think i was there for that. and i'm glad of that.

but now, i just think she's hot and so worthy of investing time into each other. and if not, not. she's only 20 after all. for whatever that's worth.

the other thing i was thinking, which i'll ask sanna about when it's ok to, is to ask about how some [certainly not all or most] of the charismatic folks i've met who are more emotionally intense in normal social company, if they are more emotionally intense in bed.

cock riding is one thing, riding a charismatic cock may be something else alltogether.

so. if you're reading this and your a charismatic man or woman, lemme know!

in touch,
holly

DeeDee Doodle

the doodlebops are a pretty amazing band. i'm not 4 years old, but i can certainly apreciate them.

they are much fun on those days i wake up before noon.

the thing about deedee doodle is that she has a great spirit and a great voice. and after a bit of searching and filtering out the porn actress lisa lennox, i found the lisa lennox who plays deedee.

and it's silly, but i have a crush on deedee doodle, like probably many 4 year old boys.

pinch me!

in touch,
holly