my gf tina is a doll. her little sis is a dollface. she's also a sentimental, kittens are proof that god loves us, kinda girl. not naive, but open-hearted.
i don't mock the stuff she emails. tho sometimes i do reply with some good-humoured snark.
but this week she's been sending this stuff about survivor stories from China's earthquake last week.
and they're killing me. so i share the three most amazing with you. no sex. no tips. no christian girls [as far as i know].
i hope these kill you too. in the good way.
1. a baby is found alive beside its mother who died. in the blanket with the baby is a cel phone. on it is a text message saying to tell my baby that i love her.
2. a man with about 2% vision is rescued after a couple days. massive injuries, head bonk. wakes up and can't see but has almost 20% sight. whether it will last, they don't know. he's ecstatic to be alive, but his ability to see light better continually moves him to tears.
3. a still breast-feeding woman survives the earthquake, but her baby doesn't. but with all the orphans, she is nursing 6 of them.
when it gets to a point in life where i cannot imagine how i would feel/cope in a situation because it is too profoundly unimaginable. i fall speechless. when i'm not crying.
i just have no words.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
News from Chinese Earthquake Survivor Stories
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Cumming to Vancouver...Arrival
what is with this fucking rain.
i know i'm the first to say vancouver isn't rain city for 5 months in the summer, but i've been back a few days and now its pouring.
a few things i've noticed since i last left 8 months ago.
- there is snow on grouse mountain. all the way to the bottom of the runs. wtf, climate change anyone? someone at the airport said it is el nino. could be, but fuck. cyclone in burma kills 30k and fuckers are skiing in vancouver in may. wtf i say.
- there seems to be a store selling big jugs of bottled water every fucking 6 blocks now. what the hell is wrong with our water? NOTHING. hear me? NOTHING!
- i promised diane to swing by maiwa on granville island to see if my uber-crush is still there. haven't made it yet. search for maiwa on my blog to read about this goddess!
- diane's convinced she'll be in a porn by the end of the month. sure vancouver is no montreal, but a girl's gotta know that money flows from 43 year old men's cumming penises on the internet machine!
- haven't actually hit wreck beach yet. but they say next weekend won't have rain and it'll get above 20 degrees. look out wreck. i'm coming!
- in my time back so far i've spent some quality time with buddy, his new psuedo-girlfriend, sanna and buddy's bro [still going], tina and her friend and a host of others that have yet to make it into the blog. maybe this summer is it for some of them?
- my uncle pete is due to hit town when the bard on the beach opens in a few weeks. i will have LOTS to say about him then. hurry unc!
- my joint/orgasm/hour count now that i've been in vancouver for 81 hours is about 1:7.5 hours. can i keep that ratio up all summer?
- buddy's psuedo-girlfriend is not bi. she doesnt want girls involved with her pussy. i respect that. i also like her lots. buddy has good taste. :) and she doesn't particularly want to watch buddy fuck me. amazing. this will be interesting. :) diane wants to make her cum. i respect her quests!
that's it for now. when the fucking sun shows up reliably i'll have more to add.
and sex tips for christian girls? hmmm. tina's developed a sex only relationship with a 21 year old boy at her church. he's dating [casually] another girl at the church who's 18 and a virgin virgin. not even a born again virgin. tina is a church slut.
the sex tip...virgin christian girls: your bf is probly not having sex with other girls. but they might be. the advice? me and tina couldn't come up with any. maybe we're not the ones to come up with it tho. :)
in touch,
holly
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Girls just wanna have...cum
Ok, so a friend of my new gf's sister went on a cruise last month with Rosie O'Donnell and Cindy Lauper and a bunch of others. I've had that girls just wanna have fun song in my head since i heard the stories.
this posting is an interview with Diane [her real name, for a change]. she's my new gf. she's 19. i'm 26 [i may have big/little sister issues]. she's not like sanna who lied about her age so the number matched her maturity. i love you sanna!
having broken up with my boytoy at school before moving home to vancouver next month, i met diane.
she's a friend of one of my roomies. no heterosexuals live in my house. 2 bi, 1 les, one gayboy. the other bi girl introduced me to diane. wow. i ower her my firstborn for that.
what follows is an msn exchange when diane was away for a few days. totally unedited. intended as a bio interview for the blog.
me: so yer a fan of the orgasm thing?
diane: oh yes. keep it cumming, love.
me: tell me about cumming.
diane: well i enjoy it alot. i got out of my way to get it. what dyou wan me to say?
me: well, the early days that led up to your bi life and your sexual deviances into hooking and porn. oh, and how your catholicism fits into it all.
diane: oh that. :) well i've always thot the virgin mary statues were pretty cute. i'm not the only 1 to feel that. ive talked to boys and girls who agree. it may be sick but its common. nice angelic face. that kinda thing. but i imagine people had lotsa acne back then. hygene couldn't hvae been all that great. that's not going where u want eh?
me: no. i forgive u. sexual past. start with that?
diane: ok. well, catholic school was fun. coed. lotsa boys. lotsa girls. lotsa cigarettes, homemade beer, pot. a bit of acid. lotsa parties at various cottages. and lotas sex. experimnting i guess. some times with a girl giving handjobs to two boys. but i guess my first real time of sexuality beyond just touching meself was at school. we had a mini-gym attached to the main gym. it was kinda weights room and it had a big mat down for the wrestlers. after a volleyball game me and some buds were hanging around the school late. we did that lots. there was community classes that came in later for badminton and stuff. but before that we were sitting in the weights room just chatting. me and my cousine and 2 boys. cant even remember there names. anyways we got to rolling around and kissing and stuff and swapping boys and at one point the guy on me gets off and starts rubbing my cousine's boob. and the guy on her sits up and rubs the other one. and i'm just sitting there. wtf.
me: ya wtf
diane: well she was trying to get them to stop, pushin there arms away and stuff, but laughing. i wanted to help her but i didnt do anything but watch. and i figured she said no but meant yes. so i just watched. and then the one who was on me pulled up her shirt to her shoulders and started touching her breasts, the skin and under her bra. and she stopped fighting it and let it go. and teh other boy did the other breast. it was really hot.
me: and u were how old
diane: grade 9. cousine grade 10
me: did anyone get onto your boobs? or anything else?
diane: no. i was fine just watching. my cousine loves me. she enjoyed being this role model for me. the next summer she showed me her bi side.
me: so she got you into girls
diane: ya. just her really. for a couple years anyways.
me: and the rest of high school?
diane: no more girls. a few boys. lotsa playing at parties and stuff. trying to convince boys that kissing them and rubbing and stuff at parties doesnt mean were engaged. that its just fun. but sex with only a couple boys. then i graduated
me: ok the porns. howd u get to that
diane: my cousine's dealer's brother's friend. simple eh. met him at a party. made out a bit. he tried to get my pants off and i said no. he said ok and told me about some work he did with camera work on porns and said i'd be great at it. like he would know. anyway we started dating and he took me to a shoot at a nice suburban house. said i could watch from teh back. got into a few good conversations with one of the guys and 2 of the girls. their other jobs, lives, gf's and bf's, school plans, sex history, details about hte industry and std's and stuff.
me: so you got an agent?
diane: no. i just talked to marc and said i'd be interested but that i'd need to approve everthing to happen. one of the girls said that sometimes [rarely] things drift beyond the "script" and to insist that it stays to what everyone agrees on.
me: and your first time with it?
diane: it was the scene with carrie and the boy who comes in at the end and fucks her while i'm rubbing her boobs. and i felt good in front of the camera. i could ignore it and the others being there was just kinda a thrill. $450. pretty easy. it was in the same house as i visited that time. the next time was $575. sucked by the redhead, sucked the asian guy.
me: and the big money?
diane: $700. fucked by the asian guy and the guy with the crewcut.
me: and when was that
diane: january.
me: and your future adult film plans?
diane: none right now. but marc's director gave me the name of a guy in vancouver. so maybe we'll get into it.
me: ya we'll see.
diane: cuz your porn-curiousity kills the cat bitch
me: ANYWAYS, lets talk about hte hooking
diane: yes my whoredom. yer a whore too.
me: i know but that comes later
diane: ok. so it started with a call from a guy i knew in high school. dated a bit but weren't really compatible. he was 2 years ahead. he gets a job outta high school as a drug rep visiting doctors pushing various drugs. and he calls me up last june after we met up again at a party and he says he has a weekend training thing at le president hotel in sherbrooke. and i should come. so i go. i dont wanna date him but i like the vacation idea. i spend most of the weekend in teh pool chatting up some of the staff and a couple from buffalo. and he pays. and we drink and eat and order movies and fuck a few times. and once he wanted me to give him a handjob in the hot tub that looks like hugh hefners grotto, but i had too much respect for, i don't know, everyone in the world, to do that in there. in teh end it was pretty easy. and an expensive weekend that he didnt really pay for past some of the booze and movies. and i like it. no strings. and that was it.
me: and then what
diane: then he calls me in july and we do it again. this time in toronto. same kinda arrangement. but this time i said i need to buy some nice earrings for our dinners. and we go to the hotel/mall jewelry store and he puts $300 on earrings for me.
me: such a whore
diane: i know. i liked it tho. and when i got home i called up the assistant manager of the cafe i work at who had moved to another outlet and said i would go out with him. he was asking lots. and we went to dinner and a bad movie and i told him we can go out again if he takes me away. this was my trip to buffalo.
me: and your high school boys?
diane: ya. the guys i hung with in high school. mostly there broke or in school (and broke). but a few of them are making some good cash and when i see them at parties and they ask me out, i tell them yes and wehre i'd like to go. and that if i need to shop for a nice clothes or bedroom accessories, they'll do it for me.
me: and madeline
diane: ya. madeline i met online. she's a dom and has 4 men in her town or time zone who she knows in person or online. they fund her rent, food and tuition. she's only occasionally fucked 2 of them. but mostly she controls them and they support her lifestyle. shes my role model. aside form you.
me: xoxo
diane: and then there was last month. dyou want me to tell it
me: yes :)
diane: so my third weekend with this one guy from school. he was in my grade. took me to sherbrooke and montreal. and this time when we do the short drive we get to the hotel and go to the restaurant to eat. and this girl is sitting in the restaurant alone reading a book by jeanette winterson. and she's cute and i like her smile at parts in the book. and my "bf" for the weekend says ya she's cute. so i ask him to invite her to join us if she's alone. and he totally doesn't have the balls for it. so while he's weaseling out of it i jsut get up and go over to her and say hey. and she says hey. and i say if yer alone, you're welcome to join us. my names' diane. and she says her name's holy and that woudl be nice. she was meeting her father at the hotel and he left just b4 dinner so she was alone.
me: holly
diane: ya holly. :) holy holly. and we hit it off for dinner and get into the 3rd bottle of $40 wine and i say we should hit the hot tub. holly says she doesn't have a bathing suit. so i say how about some drinks upstairs and she's like ya and my friend's thinking great thoughts.
me: and after a fun night and a boy who doesn't have much energy after all that booze, we go get me a nice bathing suit the next day. he pays. $125. a bit of a waste cuz i'm usually naked when i'm swimming. :)
diane: and teh rest of the weekend is my little friend's ultimate thrill of his life having a 3sum outta the blue.
me: and it's nice cuz he was a nice boy. and sexually gentle and way out of his league when u and i were fucking. which is fine with me anyways.
diane: and you were a great pickup. :)
me: i know. it was fun.
diane: and you have a few marks, er boys in vancouver to keep it up. trips to whistler and stuff eh.
me: i know. it'll be fun. we'll make a go of it. it'll be great summer in deedy!
diane: so is that it?
me: what
diane: the interview?
me: ya i guess. unless theres something u wanna add
diane: yes. its all about the orgasm bitch! :)
me: truth.
diane: xoxo
me: xoxo
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Sex Tip #14: Sodomy, Just Do It!
So I'm no longer a bum virgin and i have to say, Tina and all the other gf's [and many boys] who've been advising me to do it were right. I figured they were, now I know.
I knew some day i'd get here. Sodomy is the last of the hyper-conservative Christian hang-ups i've been burdened by. But with breaking up with my at-school boytoy and moving through new transitions in my life, it seemed to fit.
And on a more practical level, i knew that actually having intercourse with my gayboy roommate was unlikely [beyond the handjobs and bj's and times in the shower when we so gloriously aroused each other, often by him rubbing his cock on my bum until he came], so while he had always been willing to slide his cock into my bum, i wasn't.
And so knowing intercourse was out, i walked down the sodomy road with him. And the shower was where it all started. Sliding his cock between my bum cheeks, i asked him to press the head onto my asshole. Being not at all interested in bum play with cocks or fingers or tongues, I have harboured a strong desire to feel something there. And I liked how it felt. He pressed it there and i liked the sensation.
And after the shower we dried off and slid into his bed and after some serious bum massage he started fingering my hole. Then with lube on his fingers. Then with his cock. And in time his head was inside and in time he had some good pumping going.
Lying on my back i could press my clit while he slid in and out of my bum and i came in a real beautiful way rather quicker than i figured it would take. And when he came, i quickly got over his refusal fuck my pussy. :)
I knew it would be a fast conversion out of my anti-sodomy stance.
And I'm glad it was so delightful. So I'll be going back for more!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Sex Tip #13: Jealousy is a Monster, Put it on the Table
OK in recent weeks, Ash, my boytoy at school has been dating another woman. Which is fine in our open relationship.
And since I'm going back to Vancouver in May after I graduate, I'm ok with him finding a new home for his loving.
"Megan" is not bi. I forgive her. :)
Megan is also 20. And while she's no child, she is younger than me. I am jealous. I won't pretend I'm not.
I wish Megan were bi. I'm jealous of her and Ash because they are enjoying each other's bodies [and everything else]. I think of my Maiwa girl [who I've never spoken to] and she isn't really mine but i can't have her. Jealous of those who do get her.
Megan is lots like me, personality wise so we get along when we aren't jokingly competing for attention. She happens to be quite a bit taller then me, as is Ash. She has strawberry blonde hair, smaller lips [tho cuter than mine i think], smaller hips and larger breasts. It's all comparison with me.
I envy things about her that are different from me because they are different from me. Not cuz they're better. Though some days i think they are. But that's just anxiety.
Not being bi, Megan hasn't really explored too much. The most wild she's gotten was in high school dating 3 guys at once over the course of grade 11. She was only sleeping with 2 of them at a time tho as the 3rd took a while to get there and the first became celibate with her after a while. Dating. What a concept. So much monogamy amoung youths today! :)
We rented The Center of the World last night [Friday]. Never seen it but I love Molly Parker. She was on fire erotic in it, along with that other woman Carla something...too tired to imdb her. So me and Ash and Megan are watching it and earlier in the night i was telling them both of how jealous i am of each of them. Gotta put the Jealousy monster on the table or it morphs into cancer.
And as the movie gets hotter and such, our libidos rise. I'm on a chair and Ash and Megan are on the couch snuggling, her sitting between his legs leaning on him and his likely rock hard cock. :)
His arm at one point moved from lying across her chest to feeling her boob. She smiled then moved it away. After weeks of hanging out together and with all our buds and her getting to know me and Ash's relationship [which saw sex decline steadily, but not end totally], I figured she still wasn't into being fondled in front of me.
And while Ash was clearly massaging her back with his cock, she wasn't much into it. Until the end of the movie when we watch Molly masterbate. And we all get hot. Clearly!
During it, Ash's hand finds Megan's boob again and she's not pushing it away. And his other hand is just sitting bewteen her thighs. And he says to me "Holly, can you open your top?"
Never one to pass up on that, I unbutton my flannel pj top and re-orient my body so i'm facing them, and i start my own rubbing. Mostly inside my jam bottoms, opened up a bit, with occasional breast work. And with this, Ash gets to work on Megan. Opening a button in her top, under her bra, and other hand onto her pussy. She opens her left leg up over his and leaves him room to rub her harder.
While it was Megan's first time being sexually involved with more than her partner in the room, she was able to get into it ok. And then she came.
And i was on a high watching him get her off. It was beautiful. Made me really jealous of him.
And as she came back down, Ash slid out and came over to me and pulled out his cock to rub on my chest and then for me to suck.
I'm getting to a point of closure with Ash. And his cock. I'm half a semester away from leaving and it's healthy to be disengaging like this.
After some sucking, Ash asked Megan to take off her pants and he left me and slid her thong aside and began sucking her. Then he said "do you want me in you?" and duh, she says yes. So he fucks her. Not particularly to drive me crazy, but in part to drive me crazy. :)
And I like them alot. And I'm happy they are bonded with each other. And I'm not angry along with my jealousy but I'm mostly sad at a phase of my life ending. And not that I want to keep everything as it is [tho i do a bit], i need to move on in my life. And working through my jealousy is a part of moving to the next chapter.
And Megan's so sweet. Grrrr. :) But I'm happy for them both.
And the moral of the story is that admitting jealousy clears the air of toxicity. It doesn't always lead to partying, but it leads to healthier relationships.
And not that i've been free of tears, but they've been healthy tears, moving on.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Sex Tip #12: Grinding Orgasms
Ok so it's been a while since i've posted something new. thanks for the comments, particularly the email ones. thanks also for the ones that explain how much of a heathen i actually am. thanks. i've never thought of that before. lol
some nice grinding!
As porn goes, this is ok. i post it tho, because at the beginning there's some good dry humping. and if you're a christian girl who's not into penetration or hand jobs or blow jobs or if you're a christian boy who doesn't mind a bit of creamy mess in your shorts, grinding orgasms may be just for you.
i've enjoyed them a few times in recent months with my regulars and once with a someone new. cousin of a roommate who stayed a weekend. mostly it was just making out after movies and popcorn and before we could get any real plans for anything too elaborate, i found riding his cock to be immensely sweet. so i just kept going. me in my pajama pants and his hands up my top on my boobs. him in his sweats. a fun ride and when he came, i got excited and came too. much fun. it took a couple weeks of keeping it all to myself before i told my roommate. not that she'd object, but it was sorta mine for a while, then i shared it. that was nice.
and while neither of us are sex-avoiding christians, the technique works for christians.
so i recommend it!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Making it into the New Year...and Sex Parties.
ok, so major apologies for being away.
late november became the usual paper and exam crunch time
it was also [work] research projects due.
then it all ended and my body goes HEY, TIME TO GET SICK cuz the semester's over. then it was sleep for a few says and some rehabilitory sex...that's always fun...and it's the holidays.
thanks for your emails about the holidays. some of you had interesting times...far more interesting than me. i envy you for that.
and those of you that have only HINTED at the fuck fests you've been in, especially ones surrounding church christmas pageant events...COME ON. you gotta gotta share. just SAYING you had good times is mean to me. look at what i put in here! and i won't blog what you say without your permission. if you read all the way through this you'll see that.
ok, then. time for some of you to fill in the details.
and for those of you who were forthcoming, thank you. i respect that. :)
i respect the rest of you too. :)
so after holidays with roommates/friends/boytoy it has been time to gear up for the new year. oh, and christmas was warm and spiritual in our home this year. even though my two female roomies aren't so much into the religion thing, my gayboy roomie and i got to a new level of spiritual convergence. i loved that. unexpected but awesome. god works wonderfully.
so new year's. i was talking tonight to a girl i know who's a bit younger then me. we were talking about fuckfests/sex parties and such. i mentioned that i knew some girls in university [my first disastrous school i went to where i came out of my sexual and conservative christian shell] who got into sex parties in high school. not always intercourse orgies, but events where some of that happened, but lots of sucking and fingering and boys cumming on boobs.
my young friend tonight hasn't been into that and i said that she should host a sex party. not like 40 people, but a few. folks who don't necessarily want to swap bf/gf, but people who'd get off getting off with others getting off.
and she described to me a party she went to last night with 2 other couples. she was a 5th wheel. and i started asking her how it would have been if some nasty stuff got going.
i really think she should host a party like that.
ground rules:
- condoms
- full consensual activities
- acceptable to just watch others
- no swapping required
- some good booze and pot
- self-pleasure is acceptable
- leaving at any time is fine
and maybe some others if you can think of them.
so all this is all leading up to the point of the post: our new year's sex party. it was me and my boytoy and my two female roomies in one of my roomies' mom's cabin. [they call them cottages here, i don't know why]. lol
up there new year's eve with enough booze and pot to last until last night. except i was the only one to bring pot because boytoy forgot it, tho he swears he packed it. that means the last day or so we were just mildly booze-buzzed instead of sublimed out.
so what was the sex party. i used to date one of my roomies. now we just fuck. my other roomie and me started fucking a little over a year ago. i was part of her bi initiation. and my two roomies also get on with each other. and of course, i fuck my boytoy, but neither of them do.
so, being the organizer of the week away, i ended up getting to fuck everyone. the perks of being the host: inviting all who you wanna get into.
and boytoy only fucked me. tho he fucked himself many a times while the rest of us were at it.
the sex tip here is that hosting a sex party with participants who are hyper-comfortable with each other and ground rules is an amazing time. ours lasted 4 days. and there was even a strange clarity that came from the last 2 nights with no pot. i gotta look into that some more i think.
and as part of my views of a christian-compatible sexlife, all 4 of us honoured ourselves and each other in our activities. there was always respect, always freedom, never compulsion, and always intimacy. it was a beautiful end to holidays before school swings back in on monday [well tuesday for me, thank god].
and as i send this to my young friend, i wish her good imaginings and hearty plannings for her first sex party. i recommend she [and all the rest of you] write out a wish list of all the things you'd like to get out of such a party. if it's inviting a couple and 2 other singles over or 2 couples or whatever, figure out the best case scenario for what you wanna do with who and invite the people who can make that happen.
then, it's not about setting up the party so you can get that, but looking at the other half of it all: who do you want to pleasure.
and the success of the party comes in the intersection of those things. people getting as much as they hope for and giving as much as they can.
that describes my week to a T. and i hope my young friend can get herself some nice teen cock, pussy and breasts before she grows too old. and as always, i'm open to her and anyone else who wants to talk more about the logistics of getting this all done.
becoming a respected sex party host is a wonderful thing. believe me.
in touch,
holly
Saturday, November 10, 2007
My Adoring Public :)
ok so i'm no superstar or celebrity, but i do like to talk. those of you who've been on msn with me know that.
and all humility aside, i enjoy being able to engage with people in their issues. i'm no trained counsellor, but i listen well and ask good questions. and since i'm obsessed with sex and christianity, i'm always into talking about those things. and those things often tend to lead elsewhere.
pierre. he's a sweet guy. reminds me of "kevin" in here. but pierre [real name, lives in quebec city and doesn't care if i say so] is 28 and in a relationship but wishing he were in more deeply. in the last few months i've walked him through exploring blindfolds in sex with his gf, telling her that sometimes he just wants to masterbate with her watching, eating her pussy [because he's one of the millions of boys who's just not into that. dumb.], and not feeling bad about cumming on her body...anywhere...at all.
whew. i feel like i'm providing a healthy community service. it makes me feel awesome.
and in these long chats, i bill my chat partners. i often send a joke invoice for like $5,500 itemized to include all the little elements of conversation i provide as a service.
pierre, a virgin until 24, a boy with only 2 sex partners [not counting the boy and 2 girls he played house with when he was in grade 7], where his first sex partner was a girl he dated for only 5 days and his second [current] he's been with for 2 years now [though no sex for !!! the first 7 months, just 2nd base], pierre responded to my bill. he certainly didn't pay me the $4,200 i was charging him for months of conversations, but he did say he wanted to buy me a gift up to $100 out of gratitude.
so even though i'm always asking for gifts/payment, i said no because i'm kidding. but this went back and forth for a long time and in the end i had to stuff my embarrassment and accept a gift when i really didn't mean to. and it's all about the spirit of giving. and i respect that for pierre. and for his gf, who he feels more open with now and i am a part of that process. tho pierre did 98% of the work in that kinda growth.
so he paypalled me the $100 and i picked out two things from guess. because why not. nice stuff there. and i put in the difference, which was like only $30 or something so it's ok. i got the sweater above and this here because its sexy and easy to go braless with. and you know how i like to be braless.
and in the end i told pierre how i would publicly thank him. so thank you pierre.
and so despite the acrylic in the cardigan, i wore it out last night with ash and some other buds to our pub. i wore a simple oversized white cami under it and no bra and only the bottom 2 buttons done up. and when the time was right around 130am ash took me into the mens room and into a stall and i slid my cami down for ash to titfuck me. and after some sucking and stroking he slid his cock so nicely over my breasts that his cum ended up being the transition to a much longer then expected session.
and a couple drops squirted onto my cami. which became the focus of some initially unwelcome conversation back in the booth. eventually we all laughed about it. i wasn't really blushing on it, but i just usually like my sex to be slightly more secret when its supposed to be illicit like that. but no sweat. it was fun. and in the end i kinda enjoyed seeing our buds look at my breasts and see ash's cum on my cami. thats the exhibitionist in me. which wasn't really stoked by being in the bathroom because no one came while we were in there. but that's ok too. the only truly awkward moment came when one of my buds asked the server at one point that if she could bring over a rag because holly got a protein spill on her shirt. and he pointed at me and she looked at me concerned about a spill and then upon closer examination and gauging the context better she figured out what he was talking about and immediately felt like she just walked in on us having sex. but that passed after a few seconds.
and now i know the next time i see her in the pub, the smile i give her [which she always gets] will have an added context of knowing in it. that she knows that my boytoy spilled cum on my top in her pub. and that it's our secret. it kinda bonds us together i think. :)
so pierre, i hereby thank you again for your gift. and ash thanks you as well. and our friends in the pub thank you. and i already know that your gf thanks you [and me, and you really can tell her about me if you like, nothing to be ashamed of!]. and as promised i have related to you an enjoyable moment wearing the sweater.
i haven't worn the dress yet, but when i do i'll send you that story as well. promise.
in touch,
holly
Monday, October 22, 2007
Hating the Sin[ner], Loving the Sinner
UPDATED October 25, 2007 [see the end]
ok. yall can be the judge of this.
here is an email exchange between me and this fellow. he's starting to bug me, and for good reason. i've taken the nested replies and reversed the order here so you can read for yourself in order how it has flowed and where it changed. if i'm in the wrong, dear readers, i know you'll let me know. :)
first i get this email [in pink] from a website i've signed up at. it's not spam. then i reply to the email and i get a reply and back and forth for a bit.
Dear Friends:
Well hello and welcome to the Christian Dating Service PLUS! September 2007 singles newsletter!
Times sure flies by! Can you believe that Fall is upon us? I don't know about you, but I absolutely love this time of year. In my neck of the woods we have leaves turning beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red, cool, starlit evenings and the signs of Harvest all around us in the form of pumpkins, corn, cranberries and other choice crops.
Ever notice how Harvest Time always happens at just the right time? It's a great sign of God's faithfulness and love for us, in providing exactly what we need to survive and prosper.
I know many reading this may be wondering when their "harvest" regarding that special Christian dating relationship may happen. I personally know how difficult it is in times like these, but as you wait on the Lord for that special someone, pray over these verses:~If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?~ Romans 8:31,32
Did you know that we have a team of folks praying for you all collectively? But if you have personal prayer request or want to get in touch with us for some other reason, just let us know anytime 24/7, and we will get back to you promptly. You can also leave your comments on our site.Hey, do you know that God desires a relationship with you? If you're not sure about His love and great plan for you life, please be sure to check this out!Hope you enjoy our Christian Singles Newsletter...Please remember me in your prayers...Cheers and Blessings!David
Romans 15:13Christian Singles Newsletter Table of Contents:>>> A Short Announcement>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of Month
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tip
>>> Relationship Quote of the Month
>>> Most Popular Article of Month
>>> A Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward Singles
>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the MonthNote: We need YOU! Christian Dating Service PLUS! is successful because of the Lord and you. We get most of our stuff from you, so if you have a dating tip, a singles related podcast or article, idea topics for our upcoming Forum, a love poem, survey questions or love song lyrics that you'd like to share with tens of thousands of other Christian singles, send it on out. We'll be happy to use it, and acknowledge you by linking back to you. I figure if we all help each other, we'll all be blessed in the process. Sounds good?
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Announcements-1) As noted in our previous newsletter, a we are getting ready to put up a forum where Christian singles can talk directly with each other on a variety of topics that interests them. If you are interested in helping out, or have any idea about this, please get in touch with us. We get hundreds of singles each month wishing to reach out directly with others, and we see this as a great way to do it.2) In our last newsletter I wrote that our SINGLES SURVEY results on dating and church attendance would be released on our site on 9/9/07! However, being in the hospital four times in the last few weeks has set us back a week or two. I apologize, and will be releasing results on our site with cool charts shortly. Here are some interesting finding so far:a) Both single men and single women who avoid church (attend less than 1x per month) gave the top reason for singles doing so is because church is more structured toward married folks. Do you agree or disagree?b) Never married single gals worry most about money/bills and then their dating life; Never married single guys worry most about dating relationships followed by their careers. What do you make of that?Feel free to write an article on either one of the survey findings>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of the MonthJust your typical Christian singles group....Read here about other Christian singles groups "benefits" you may want to consider.Special thanks to Jeff Larson at Back Pew Greeting Cards.>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tips-Top 7 Reasons You May Want to Try Online Christian Dating...>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>> Relationship Quote of the Month-~Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.~Mark Twain>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>Most Popular Article of Month-Inquiring minds want to Know Why Good Christian Girls Date Bad Guys...
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward SinglesMany singles are worried about money, bills and debt....Cheer up, help is on the way:By the way...do you have an audio or video podcast or MP3 message regarding the Christian single life you would like broadcasted to tens of thousands of singles each month worldwide? Just let us know, and we'll be glad to help out!>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the MonthHave You Ever Been In Love? Celine DionHave you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever walked on air, ever
Felt like you were dreamin'
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...
Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
I ain't looking anymore
Have you ever been...
Some place that you ain't leavin'
Somewhere you gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin'
Have you ever felt this way?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...
Have you ever been in love?
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn't matter near or far
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?
So in love
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: You have received this newsletter because you either signed up for it, or were referred by a friend.
To stop receiving this please just let us know.© Christian Dating Service PLUS! 2007
holly holly wrote:
thanks for this. nice to get the updates.
tho i can do without celine dion lyrics. i'm so over her. :)
in touch,
holly
Sex Tips for Christian Girls
http://stcg.blogspot.com
david wrote:
holly holly wrote:
thanks for the compliments on my humour and writing. both have come a long way in the last half decade.
i consider vancouver my hometown. i grew up 5 hours from there [not going back there] and always gravitate home to vancouver when not at school. i did do a year at ubc there early on. it had its ups and downs, but the city seeped into my heart.
i also attended several different kinds of churches while i was there. which denomination is she a pastor in?
what am i really like? well, i believe in truth. i've lived too much of my life with people lying around me so i live a hard core version of truth now. thus my blog. it's not fiction or fantasy [except for some of the fantasies in there]. it's me. what am i really like? i think my blog expresses that. that's what blogs are supposed to do.
and i don't know you or anything or how old you are, so i don't know if this would be relevant or out of place, but "chick" is a sexist, demeaning and infantilizing term when applied to a woman. i use it with some of my friends and vice versa. but it isn't used with strangers. nigger is used by some of my black friends. i don't use it though, for the same reason. and if you didn't mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it's something you should watch out for.
in touch,
holly
david wrote:
what a shame, Holly! for a minute there I thought you were refreshing and interesting and truly liberal in the best sense. Now it appears you are just another politically correct person (chick, babe, slut, hey you fill in the blanks) who lets the speech of others affect them. is it insecurity that effects people in this way? Would you be offended if I told you to kiss my white ass? poor little girl. I'm sure your choice of words in your blog offends people. but do you care? hell no. So grow up Ok? and stop being such a hypocritical weasel. I want you to know that I still love you, so please keep in touch.
just another politically correct person? wow. how can it be so easy to dismiss and minimize me for something honest i say. do you say negro or coloured person to talk about blacks or african americans? would someone be "just another" politically correct black person if they asked you to not refer to them as coloured?
do you refer to single women as miss or ms.? if you say miss, are you offended when people ask you not to? do you say ms.? then my point is made. do you say ms. grudgingly? then you may never GET my point.
so am i insecure or weak if someone else's speech affects me? if you were to call black people niggers would you expect them to not be offended? wow.
i believe i am strong enough to let someone know when they offend me. if it is weak to be offended, then you may be betraying a white, judeo-christian demographically dominant insensitivity. or maybe that is as out of line, stereotypical and offensive of me as you are continuing to be with me.
and now i'm wondering how you would define a "liberal in the best sense"...what kind of personality traits would make your "best" liberal? i'm not sure i'd WANT to exhibit any of those traits.
i don't care if your ass is white or not. i'm not offended by you expressing the anger towards me that makes you want me to kiss your ass. i can take that. i can handle that. it's just a "no thanks" from me.
why do you think i don't care that people are offended by my blog? how could you possibly know this? i value a greater good that i'm pursuing than just avoiding offending people. if the "language" of my blog were completely unoffensive [which couldn't happen based on what i write about], then the content would offend people. when people send me emails about what's wrong with me and my blog [and tina...], they don't complain about language. they don't like the content. i respect their feelings. i've BEEN where they are. i've believed those things. i write my blog to offer girls a sense of another way. if they change, great. if they don't, fine. everyone chooses their life choices.
i'm only hypocritical in your eyes because you've decided you know the answer to the question you ask about me. that's condescending and presumptuous.
and i'll tell you something. of all the hate/disagreement email i've received from my blog, the ones i respect are from christians who demonstrate consistency in their own responses to my blog. people who act with some sense of respect that i'm a different person from them. people who don't demonstrate condescension to me while claiming they love me. people who do not slide into demeaning personal attacks. people who are apparently upstanding enough that if they were to run a christian dating website that they'd be able to not tell me to kiss their ass, tell me to grow up, presume they know me enough to speak for me then call me hypocritical and a weasel, then say at the end what has become the bumpersticker of christian fundamentalist hypocrisy: i still love you. after you've been this rude to me. hate the sin, love the sinner. does that work with hate the sin [and offend the sinner] and love the sinner? doesn't wash with me. it never has and you've perpetuated why it doesn't.
i tell you, if i treated people's complaints about my blog with the dismissiveness as you have treated me when i told you one little thing about how millions of women feel about the word "chick" i think you may have far more problems playing nicely with others than you might think i have.
this is why when i wrote the chick thing i was humble enough to say a few things:
"and i don't know you or anything or how old you are, so i don't know if this would be relevant or out of place,"
"and if you didn't mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it's something you should watch out for."
i write these things because i KNOW that i barely know you and email is often tough to get a true sense of a person's communication style. those were disclaimers that apparently didn't work. and now i'm thinking it wasn't worth the effort.
so you still love me and you want me to please keep in touch? my question of you is why? i am not a kind of person who will roll over when people answer questions for me, call me a weasel, tell me to kiss their ass and grow up. i had exactly enough of that kind of controlling behaviour in the church i grew up in. if you wish to try that nonsense on me now any further, you'll get me assertively telling you to stick your condescension back in whatever twisted interpretation of the bible you MAY feel justifies your way of communicating with virtual perfect strangers.
wow. you are sure a piece of work. in the end, i stand by my words. i wonder if the words you just sent to me you would feel comfortable posting on your own godly christian singles website. in fact, i dare you to post them there. if you are the kind of person with the "integrity" to send these words to me in a private email, are you also the kind of person who is willing to post them on your site?
please reply to this one, because i need to know whether or not to post all of this on MY website. i stand by my words. do you?
in touch,
holly
david butler
well now you've got me confused enough to end this.
it's just not your heart to hurt people, yet you speak your mind and if others are offended you're sorry. that's a little inconsistent.
people are too sensitive, so you bait me. ok. i see. that says a lot about you.
you don't believe people should be offended by others' words. you still haven't answered my question about whether you call black people niggers. i assume you don't. if you don't you're lying about people shouldn't be offended by others' words. if you do call black people niggers, you are disgusting. either way, this makes you look at best inconsistent, at worst sociopathic.
your love for me is extraordinarily uncomfortable with your ease at abusing me, then saying you don't wish to offend. this is classic mind-fuck. you are a sick person.
words do not mean nothing. if you truly believe they don't, you should start saying nigger regularly and see what nothing means. if you think words OUGHT to mean nothing, you haven't experienced systemic discrimination or abuse as many minorities have. i pity your privilege.
you are a sad, inconsistent individual with a godly sounding website and a heart of manipulation and self-centredness.
and you sign it "your friend". this shows how clearly deluded you are. if you believe i can see you as a friend because you say you love me i truly weep for your sense of reality.
do not contact me again.
no longer in touch,
holly
And the final nail in this fuck's coffin: he's been full of lies. It's like that old cartoon that shows two dogs, one on a computer, saying to the other "On the internet noone knows you're a dog." And there's always a chance that he isn't the brother, but the fellow himself trying to distance himself from his pig-dogness. Either way, he re-affirms my sense of the depravity of people. I'm just glad that real people in my life are honest...and many online too, which is nice. But this guy's a prick:
david butler
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sex Tip #11: Perhaps Don't Sleep with a Married Man
This has been a difficult post to prepare.
I have a few other things I wanted to write about, but this one seems to have taken over my brain.
I know Holly's story about adultery. I know what she wrote in here. I know what else she told me about it. I understand the context. I don't judge her for what she did. Part of me doesn't approve of it. Part of me understands it. She knows how I feel about it all. All my conflicting feelings.
Being a divorced person is an interesting cross to bear. Particularly in a Christian community. My relationship with Barry is working for what it is. And for that I'm grateful and happy.
But I don't know how I would deal with being in a marriage and needing to get out, like Holly's situation. So I don't judge.
But in the end, I called this sex tip not sleeping with a married man. Perhaps. I say perhaps because I'm mostly sure it's wrong. And I think I'm informed about it and not just speculating.
And the funny coincidence...maybe not so funny is that my informed state comes from Keats camp, which is sort of connected to Holly's situation.
So. The story. Holly has convinced me it's worth telling.
Some time before I went to church with no bra on I went to Keats camp for an event. The nature of it isn't relevant. It had couples and singles and more than a few divorced people and divorced people who were remarried.
I met a woman in one of the workshop groups. "Patty" had 3 kids, in her mid-thirties, married to "Frank" for almost 12 years and was a relatively new Christian with her Frank. She was also a deeply funny person. Amazing sense of humour. But she also was lacking an ability to be open and honest. That came up in the group. There were 5 women and she and her friend shared insights about each other. Quite open in that sense, but never really for her was there anything that she would share about herself of substance.
And that was ok in the end because we're all strangers. But her friend kept remarking on how hard it was to get anything from her.
Anyway that was most of my impression of her. Frank I quite liked. A gentle guy who played ice hockey 3 times a week. Yay. He knew what physicality meant but he was also an emotionally aware guy. Not lots of them around. Generally quite happy but in the end only mostly. Missing something was my sense of him.
So a number of us exchanged email addresses and stuff and we thought about meeting a few weeks after the Keats event for a chat and an update on issues we talked about there.
Nothing came of that. Good intentions but that was it.
Then a few days after I went to church without a bra [which has become a kind of marker separating events for me this summer], Frank emails and we start chatting about things: work, life, church, parenting, but not marriage. A few emails go by and I'm enjoying this, but I'm thinking, what about Patty? A few more emails and he gets to it. He's thinking he's unhappy but he's blocked in figuring it out.
We meet after work one night for a glass of wine and start talking about things. He's a bookeeper and works late a lot and I feel like the other woman. He's also a transit guy too and we take the #20 back towards home. I get off first to connect to my bus and before I stand up to go, he puts his hand on my knee when we're saying bye. Not overtly. Not meaninglessly either. Felt nice. Tingles even. I liked that. But I also felt guilty. For good reason.
Then a few weeks ago when summer has definitely given up trying to actually be here, we meet again for wine after work. We talk some more about all the safe topics and then he gets onto the place I figured he was at: out of love with his wife and 3 kids. He is showing some sadness but I know he's hiding much more sadness because maybe we're in a bar.
I ask if he'd like to come over to talk more. Yes. Cab ride. Home. A bottle of wine opened. And after about 10 minutes he's just letting it all out. So sad at it being dead for him. And he gets quiet into a funk.
I never liked hockey players in high school. Frank's no hockey player, but he plays hockey. That kind of thing ran through my head a lot that night at the bar. Totally off topic, but it was the issue of what I think of him kicking around in my head. Underneath it all was being available for him as a person, but I also wanted to have sex with him. Never consciously in my head, but always in between the lines.
And in his funk I put my hand on his knee and he puts his hand on my hand. Then on my knee. Then on my shoulder and we're kissing. Then it's on my breast and mine is on his crotch and from there we're having sex on the couch and I loved it. Duh.
I didn't cum, but he really did and pretty briskly. He hadn't had sex in weeks and weeks he said. I could tell. He masturbated a lot but he hadn't fucked his wife in so long. A sexless rut that was more than a rut I thought.
After the sex we just hung out on the couch doing the cuddle thing while he played with my nipples. Eventually I got him hard again and we fucked again until I came. In the end it helped that his finger was in my bum when we were in the doggy position. I wanted to come so badly because if I was having sex with a married man I wanted to at least feel some joy in it and for all the time we were doing it and I didn't come I wanted to. And I started getting anxious about it. Go ahead and psychoanalyze that. Good luck to ya! :)
And then we broke it off. He emailed the next day and said he wasn't sure we should do it again. I emailed back saying ok. I'm also talking with Holly about it and she's easing my grief/guilt. But the next day he phones and comes over on the Saturday afternoon and we fuck some more. And then again this past Saturday afternoon.
And as it is now, I don't want to stop because I like how he does my bum. I like how he sucks me and I like the illicit nature of it all. It's a mad rush.
But I also feel bad. He's in charge of his marriage, but I'm truly the other woman. And the biggest thing, though I've talked with Holly about this, I haven't talked to Barry. And I don't have a real sense of why. We're not exclusive and we've been with others since last winter, but I just don't want to talk to him about it. Maybe I'd feel ashamed around him? Don't know. He's not one to judge so there's no risk there.
Maybe it's my conscience. But until I figure it all out, the sex tip is to not sleep with married men.
In dreams,
Tina