Sex Tip #13: Jealousy is a Monster, Put it on the Table

OK in recent weeks, Ash, my boytoy at school has been dating another woman. Which is fine in our open relationship.

And since I'm going back to Vancouver in May after I graduate, I'm ok with him finding a new home for his loving.

"Megan" is not bi. I forgive her. :)

Megan is also 20. And while she's no child, she is younger than me. I am jealous. I won't pretend I'm not.

I wish Megan were bi. I'm jealous of her and Ash because they are enjoying each other's bodies [and everything else]. I think of my Maiwa girl [who I've never spoken to] and she isn't really mine but i can't have her. Jealous of those who do get her.

Megan is lots like me, personality wise so we get along when we aren't jokingly competing for attention. She happens to be quite a bit taller then me, as is Ash. She has strawberry blonde hair, smaller lips [tho cuter than mine i think], smaller hips and larger breasts. It's all comparison with me.

I envy things about her that are different from me because they are different from me. Not cuz they're better. Though some days i think they are. But that's just anxiety.

Not being bi, Megan hasn't really explored too much. The most wild she's gotten was in high school dating 3 guys at once over the course of grade 11. She was only sleeping with 2 of them at a time tho as the 3rd took a while to get there and the first became celibate with her after a while. Dating. What a concept. So much monogamy amoung youths today! :)

We rented The Center of the World last night [Friday]. Never seen it but I love Molly Parker. She was on fire erotic in it, along with that other woman Carla something...too tired to imdb her. So me and Ash and Megan are watching it and earlier in the night i was telling them both of how jealous i am of each of them. Gotta put the Jealousy monster on the table or it morphs into cancer.

And as the movie gets hotter and such, our libidos rise. I'm on a chair and Ash and Megan are on the couch snuggling, her sitting between his legs leaning on him and his likely rock hard cock. :)

His arm at one point moved from lying across her chest to feeling her boob. She smiled then moved it away. After weeks of hanging out together and with all our buds and her getting to know me and Ash's relationship [which saw sex decline steadily, but not end totally], I figured she still wasn't into being fondled in front of me.

And while Ash was clearly massaging her back with his cock, she wasn't much into it. Until the end of the movie when we watch Molly masterbate. And we all get hot. Clearly!

During it, Ash's hand finds Megan's boob again and she's not pushing it away. And his other hand is just sitting bewteen her thighs. And he says to me "Holly, can you open your top?"

Never one to pass up on that, I unbutton my flannel pj top and re-orient my body so i'm facing them, and i start my own rubbing. Mostly inside my jam bottoms, opened up a bit, with occasional breast work. And with this, Ash gets to work on Megan. Opening a button in her top, under her bra, and other hand onto her pussy. She opens her left leg up over his and leaves him room to rub her harder.

While it was Megan's first time being sexually involved with more than her partner in the room, she was able to get into it ok. And then she came.

And i was on a high watching him get her off. It was beautiful. Made me really jealous of him.

And as she came back down, Ash slid out and came over to me and pulled out his cock to rub on my chest and then for me to suck.

I'm getting to a point of closure with Ash. And his cock. I'm half a semester away from leaving and it's healthy to be disengaging like this.

After some sucking, Ash asked Megan to take off her pants and he left me and slid her thong aside and began sucking her. Then he said "do you want me in you?" and duh, she says yes. So he fucks her. Not particularly to drive me crazy, but in part to drive me crazy. :)

And I like them alot. And I'm happy they are bonded with each other. And I'm not angry along with my jealousy but I'm mostly sad at a phase of my life ending. And not that I want to keep everything as it is [tho i do a bit], i need to move on in my life. And working through my jealousy is a part of moving to the next chapter.

And Megan's so sweet. Grrrr. :) But I'm happy for them both.

And the moral of the story is that admitting jealousy clears the air of toxicity. It doesn't always lead to partying, but it leads to healthier relationships.

And not that i've been free of tears, but they've been healthy tears, moving on.