Sex Tips for Christian Girls

I'm done with Blogger

2008-06-14T04:16:00.002-06:00

OK, my frustrations with Google and Blogger are done. I've migrated my blog over to WordPress. Plus, I'm learning more about open source. I like it.

This site will stay with my original posts, but nothing newer than today will appear here.

Where is my new site?

sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com
sextips4cg.wordpress.com

Come join me!

In touch,
Holly

Sex Tip #17: Listen to Your Elders

2008-06-13T02:34:00.003-06:00

I was sitting at a bus loop today and a girl comes and sits next to me. She's oblivious as many teens are, on her cel phone. But then again many of my friends walk around like cel zombies too so I don't need to be all agist and everything.

She's cute with long dark hair. She looks Malaysian or Filipino or something like that. Real gorgeous anyway, for a 15 year old.

And she's wearing white shorts, flip flops and a loose fitting burgundy t-shirt with a scoop neck. Very attractive.

So as she sits down she leans forward, arranges some stuff in her bag, pulls out an apple. All the regular normal kinda stuff. And as she's sitting its leaning here and there, sometimes sitting on one foot, sometimes leaning forward with her elbows on her knees.

And all of my focus on her posture is all about more than just her being a cel zombie. She's also somewhat unaware of her body. Unaware that in various postures, someone standing in front of us actually at the curbside in line for the bus can look up her shorts a bit. Burgundy panty. Quite elegant. And since we were on the west side it fit that she could look so nice like that.

But more than the loose legs on her shorts was her scoop top with a thin and loose fitting bra. And even if it were a tight fitting bra, it covered a small enough amount of her breasts that there was much to look at. Especially when her shirt fell forward from her posture.

So her cel call ended and I struck up a conversation. I introduced myself and said how much I liked her bag. She complimented me on my bag, which feels like an army utility duffel, but is actually quite functional. And then I said I wondered if I could tell her something somewhat personal about her. And being an open friendly girl [and courageous enough] she said sure. And I said that I spent a lot of time flirting with guys in bars and dressing for clubs and things [which I don't go to clubs, but I knew she'd get that] and I intentionally dress to show off my body for those kind of places.

And I told her what I could see of her body for the last 10 minutes. And that being that provocative as a concept is fine, but there are times to use it and there are times to avoid it and everyone needs to make up there mind on that.

And though we were on the west side, we weren't surrounded by corporate lawyers and personal trainers at this bus stop and that the general public is a mix of people, not a controlled group of people at a bar seeing a folk music duo for instance.

And then I asked about her English teacher and whether they had talked about how to write for different audiences. She said ya.

So I said the same goes for dressing and how we present the erotic parts of our body. And I tried hard to say not to dress and sit like all that at bus stops, but that she should think at least a little bit about context and the effect of what she does. And how to find places to dress and be a certain way and to be wary of accidentally doing so in other times.

Cuz, I said, when we get on the bus, it'll be crowded and a few people will have a nice view down your top if you sit a certain way. If you don't they'll just see a pretty girl. And that you can't control which guys are standing beside/over you.

And then I apologized if I ended up making her more wary than I intend [which is not so wary at all, just clever about things], but the world is full of risks that we can sometimes minimize.

And I felt like a big sister, young aunt, even the hip grandmother that tells the secret secrets of life.

And I feel comfortable in my role as an elder. And she listened to me and thanked me. And I wrote down my blog address. :)

And the sex tip is to listen to your elders. Not all of them cuz some are fucking nuts. But discern who is worth hearing. And listen HARD. Cuz it can make a real difference in your love/sex life and even all aspects of your life.

So there. Felt good!

Sex Tip #16: Get it While You're Young

2008-06-02T02:13:00.003-06:00

[Don't look at the pix at the end of this post until then.] :)

Gravity. I remember it. Or rather I remember when it wasn't such a big deal.

At times I've lamented being sexually inactive before [gasp] 22. and the 7-9 years before then of not using my breasts to their fullest potential.

And I'm not complaining that I'm old and saggy and physically repulsive. I love my bod and appreciate it for all it is. But my gf is 19. I'm 26. Gravity exists for her, but not to the degree it does me.

And i get in moods sometimes when i regret my celibate teen years. But regret tends to replace lessons from various chapters in life. So I avoid giving in to regret.

The tip here is not to be a fuck-whore teenage Christian girl. The tip is to at the very least, enjoy your breasts and maybe share them with someone you are fond of. While yer under 20. That's it.

So this pix, I saw it with buddy tonight. He liked this awesome cheerleader. And in my mind, I remembered breasts that had a stranglehold on gravity as these do.

Ah the good old days. :)

But at least I have my gf!

Sex Tip #15: Your Cross Need Not Be Hidden

2008-05-26T02:24:00.002-06:00

ok the cloudiness today wasn't welcome, but it was warm and wreck beach was sublime.

not too much pot, not too much booze. just enough pita and humous.

i went with tina. who is fucking amazing every month that goes by, even moreso.

near us and down the sand slope a bit were 2 asian girls having a good time. got there before us. kept their bikini bottoms on. made it more alluring.

tina, while not a raging bisexual, has enjoyed some of the girl fruits and appreciates beauty. she liked their bums. me too.

so they spent lotsa time topless but later in the day started doing the top on, but untied to avoid tan lines.

in the end of it all, they seemed to have a good day and got ready to leave. tops tied back on and starting to gather their gear on the little rolled wooden blanket thing they had. and one of these girls leans over to reach something, leaning in our direction. i'm looking at tina and seeing them in the background.

and this girl's nipple slips out of her top towards the middle of her cleavage. very pretty. nothing we hadn't seen, but with more allure now that its a forbidden peek. lol

and when she rolls back after grabbing an empty water bottle her friend tells her she's popped out. and she blushes. very funny. and so duh, her friend bugs her for blushing. priceless.

but here's where the sex tip comes in.

this nipple flasher finishes getting dressed to head back up to clothed reality, and puts a gold cross back on around her neck.

which means i guess that when they arrived she took it off. perhaps so jesus wouldn't see her being naked or half naked. and i don't want to judge because it's really important to allow people to deal with their own boundaries with naturality their own way. but i sorta thought it would be better if she didn't feel the need to take it off.

because i don't think jesus would hate her for lying topless on the beach for an afternoon.

and in the end i can't relate because i don't wear a cross. so i can't really put myself in her shoes. but you get my point.

so ya. don't hide your cross. even when you're at a nude beach. :)

News from Chinese Earthquake Survivor Stories

2008-05-20T00:45:00.003-06:00

my gf tina is a doll. her little sis is a dollface. she's also a sentimental, kittens are proof that god loves us, kinda girl. not naive, but open-hearted.

i don't mock the stuff she emails. tho sometimes i do reply with some good-humoured snark.

but this week she's been sending this stuff about survivor stories from China's earthquake last week.

and they're killing me. so i share the three most amazing with you. no sex. no tips. no christian girls [as far as i know].

i hope these kill you too. in the good way.

1. a baby is found alive beside its mother who died. in the blanket with the baby is a cel phone. on it is a text message saying to tell my baby that i love her.

2. a man with about 2% vision is rescued after a couple days. massive injuries, head bonk. wakes up and can't see but has almost 20% sight. whether it will last, they don't know. he's ecstatic to be alive, but his ability to see light better continually moves him to tears.

3. a still breast-feeding woman survives the earthquake, but her baby doesn't. but with all the orphans, she is nursing 6 of them.

when it gets to a point in life where i cannot imagine how i would feel/cope in a situation because it is too profoundly unimaginable. i fall speechless. when i'm not crying.

i just have no words.

Cumming to Vancouver...Arrival

2008-05-11T02:31:00.000-06:00

what is with this fucking rain.

i know i'm the first to say vancouver isn't rain city for 5 months in the summer, but i've been back a few days and now its pouring.

a few things i've noticed since i last left 8 months ago.

- there is snow on grouse mountain. all the way to the bottom of the runs. wtf, climate change anyone? someone at the airport said it is el nino. could be, but fuck. cyclone in burma kills 30k and fuckers are skiing in vancouver in may. wtf i say.

- there seems to be a store selling big jugs of bottled water every fucking 6 blocks now. what the hell is wrong with our water? NOTHING. hear me? NOTHING!

- i promised diane to swing by maiwa on granville island to see if my uber-crush is still there. haven't made it yet. search for maiwa on my blog to read about this goddess!

- diane's convinced she'll be in a porn by the end of the month. sure vancouver is no montreal, but a girl's gotta know that money flows from 43 year old men's cumming penises on the internet machine!

- haven't actually hit wreck beach yet. but they say next weekend won't have rain and it'll get above 20 degrees. look out wreck. i'm coming!

- in my time back so far i've spent some quality time with buddy, his new psuedo-girlfriend, sanna and buddy's bro [still going], tina and her friend and a host of others that have yet to make it into the blog. maybe this summer is it for some of them?

- my uncle pete is due to hit town when the bard on the beach opens in a few weeks. i will have LOTS to say about him then. hurry unc!

- my joint/orgasm/hour count now that i've been in vancouver for 81 hours is about 1:7.5 hours. can i keep that ratio up all summer?

- buddy's psuedo-girlfriend is not bi. she doesnt want girls involved with her pussy. i respect that. i also like her lots. buddy has good taste. :) and she doesn't particularly want to watch buddy fuck me. amazing. this will be interesting. :) diane wants to make her cum. i respect her quests!

that's it for now. when the fucking sun shows up reliably i'll have more to add.

and sex tips for christian girls? hmmm. tina's developed a sex only relationship with a 21 year old boy at her church. he's dating [casually] another girl at the church who's 18 and a virgin virgin. not even a born again virgin. tina is a church slut.

the sex tip...virgin christian girls: your bf is probly not having sex with other girls. but they might be. the advice? me and tina couldn't come up with any. maybe we're not the ones to come up with it tho. :)

in touch,
holly

Girls just wanna have...cum

2008-04-29T03:07:00.001-06:00

Ok, so a friend of my new gf's sister went on a cruise last month with Rosie O'Donnell and Cindy Lauper and a bunch of others. I've had that girls just wanna have fun song in my head since i heard the stories.

this posting is an interview with Diane [her real name, for a change]. she's my new gf. she's 19. i'm 26 [i may have big/little sister issues]. she's not like sanna who lied about her age so the number matched her maturity. i love you sanna!

having broken up with my boytoy at school before moving home to vancouver next month, i met diane.

she's a friend of one of my roomies. no heterosexuals live in my house. 2 bi, 1 les, one gayboy. the other bi girl introduced me to diane. wow. i ower her my firstborn for that.

what follows is an msn exchange when diane was away for a few days. totally unedited. intended as a bio interview for the blog.

me: so yer a fan of the orgasm thing?

diane: oh yes. keep it cumming, love.

me: tell me about cumming.

diane: well i enjoy it alot. i got out of my way to get it. what dyou wan me to say?

me: well, the early days that led up to your bi life and your sexual deviances into hooking and porn. oh, and how your catholicism fits into it all.

diane: oh that. :) well i've always thot the virgin mary statues were pretty cute. i'm not the only 1 to feel that. ive talked to boys and girls who agree. it may be sick but its common. nice angelic face. that kinda thing. but i imagine people had lotsa acne back then. hygene couldn't hvae been all that great. that's not going where u want eh?

me: no. i forgive u. sexual past. start with that?

diane: ok. well, catholic school was fun. coed. lotsa boys. lotsa girls. lotsa cigarettes, homemade beer, pot. a bit of acid. lotsa parties at various cottages. and lotas sex. experimnting i guess. some times with a girl giving handjobs to two boys. but i guess my first real time of sexuality beyond just touching meself was at school. we had a mini-gym attached to the main gym. it was kinda weights room and it had a big mat down for the wrestlers. after a volleyball game me and some buds were hanging around the school late. we did that lots. there was community classes that came in later for badminton and stuff. but before that we were sitting in the weights room just chatting. me and my cousine and 2 boys. cant even remember there names. anyways we got to rolling around and kissing and stuff and swapping boys and at one point the guy on me gets off and starts rubbing my cousine's boob. and the guy on her sits up and rubs the other one. and i'm just sitting there. wtf.

me: ya wtf

diane: well she was trying to get them to stop, pushin there arms away and stuff, but laughing. i wanted to help her but i didnt do anything but watch. and i figured she said no but meant yes. so i just watched. and then the one who was on me pulled up her shirt to her shoulders and started touching her breasts, the skin and under her bra. and she stopped fighting it and let it go. and teh other boy did the other breast. it was really hot.

me: and u were how old

diane: grade 9. cousine grade 10

me: did anyone get onto your boobs? or anything else?

diane: no. i was fine just watching. my cousine loves me. she enjoyed being this role model for me. the next summer she showed me her bi side.

me: so she got you into girls

diane: ya. just her really. for a couple years anyways.

me: and the rest of high school?

diane: no more girls. a few boys. lotsa playing at parties and stuff. trying to convince boys that kissing them and rubbing and stuff at parties doesnt mean were engaged. that its just fun. but sex with only a couple boys. then i graduated

me: ok the porns. howd u get to that

diane: my cousine's dealer's brother's friend. simple eh. met him at a party. made out a bit. he tried to get my pants off and i said no. he said ok and told me about some work he did with camera work on porns and said i'd be great at it. like he would know. anyway we started dating and he took me to a shoot at a nice suburban house. said i could watch from teh back. got into a few good conversations with one of the guys and 2 of the girls. their other jobs, lives, gf's and bf's, school plans, sex history, details about hte industry and std's and stuff.

me: so you got an agent?

diane: no. i just talked to marc and said i'd be interested but that i'd need to approve everthing to happen. one of the girls said that sometimes [rarely] things drift beyond the "script" and to insist that it stays to what everyone agrees on.

me: and your first time with it?

diane: it was the scene with carrie and the boy who comes in at the end and fucks her while i'm rubbing her boobs. and i felt good in front of the camera. i could ignore it and the others being there was just kinda a thrill. $450. pretty easy. it was in the same house as i visited that time. the next time was $575. sucked by the redhead, sucked the asian guy.

me: and the big money?

diane: $700. fucked by the asian guy and the guy with the crewcut.

me: and when was that

diane: january.

me: and your future adult film plans?

diane: none right now. but marc's director gave me the name of a guy in vancouver. so maybe we'll get into it.

me: ya we'll see.

diane: cuz your porn-curiousity kills the cat bitch

me: ANYWAYS, lets talk about hte hooking

diane: yes my whoredom. yer a whore too.

me: i know but that comes later

diane: ok. so it started with a call from a guy i knew in high school. dated a bit but weren't really compatible. he was 2 years ahead. he gets a job outta high school as a drug rep visiting doctors pushing various drugs. and he calls me up last june after we met up again at a party and he says he has a weekend training thing at le president hotel in sherbrooke. and i should come. so i go. i dont wanna date him but i like the vacation idea. i spend most of the weekend in teh pool chatting up some of the staff and a couple from buffalo. and he pays. and we drink and eat and order movies and fuck a few times. and once he wanted me to give him a handjob in the hot tub that looks like hugh hefners grotto, but i had too much respect for, i don't know, everyone in the world, to do that in there. in teh end it was pretty easy. and an expensive weekend that he didnt really pay for past some of the booze and movies. and i like it. no strings. and that was it.

me: and then what

diane: then he calls me in july and we do it again. this time in toronto. same kinda arrangement. but this time i said i need to buy some nice earrings for our dinners. and we go to the hotel/mall jewelry store and he puts $300 on earrings for me.

me: such a whore

diane: i know. i liked it tho. and when i got home i called up the assistant manager of the cafe i work at who had moved to another outlet and said i would go out with him. he was asking lots. and we went to dinner and a bad movie and i told him we can go out again if he takes me away. this was my trip to buffalo.

me: and your high school boys?

diane: ya. the guys i hung with in high school. mostly there broke or in school (and broke). but a few of them are making some good cash and when i see them at parties and they ask me out, i tell them yes and wehre i'd like to go. and that if i need to shop for a nice clothes or bedroom accessories, they'll do it for me.

me: and madeline

diane: ya. madeline i met online. she's a dom and has 4 men in her town or time zone who she knows in person or online. they fund her rent, food and tuition. she's only occasionally fucked 2 of them. but mostly she controls them and they support her lifestyle. shes my role model. aside form you.

me: xoxo

diane: and then there was last month. dyou want me to tell it

me: yes :)

diane: so my third weekend with this one guy from school. he was in my grade. took me to sherbrooke and montreal. and this time when we do the short drive we get to the hotel and go to the restaurant to eat. and this girl is sitting in the restaurant alone reading a book by jeanette winterson. and she's cute and i like her smile at parts in the book. and my "bf" for the weekend says ya she's cute. so i ask him to invite her to join us if she's alone. and he totally doesn't have the balls for it. so while he's weaseling out of it i jsut get up and go over to her and say hey. and she says hey. and i say if yer alone, you're welcome to join us. my names' diane. and she says her name's holy and that woudl be nice. she was meeting her father at the hotel and he left just b4 dinner so she was alone.

me: holly

diane: ya holly. :) holy holly. and we hit it off for dinner and get into the 3rd bottle of $40 wine and i say we should hit the hot tub. holly says she doesn't have a bathing suit. so i say how about some drinks upstairs and she's like ya and my friend's thinking great thoughts.

me: and after a fun night and a boy who doesn't have much energy after all that booze, we go get me a nice bathing suit the next day. he pays. $125. a bit of a waste cuz i'm usually naked when i'm swimming. :)

diane: and teh rest of the weekend is my little friend's ultimate thrill of his life having a 3sum outta the blue.

me: and it's nice cuz he was a nice boy. and sexually gentle and way out of his league when u and i were fucking. which is fine with me anyways.

diane: and you were a great pickup. :)

me: i know. it was fun.

diane: and you have a few marks, er boys in vancouver to keep it up. trips to whistler and stuff eh.

me: i know. it'll be fun. we'll make a go of it. it'll be great summer in deedy!

diane: so is that it?

me: what

diane: the interview?

me: ya i guess. unless theres something u wanna add

diane: yes. its all about the orgasm bitch! :)

me: truth.

diane: xoxo

me: xoxo

Sex Tip #14: Sodomy, Just Do It!

2008-03-13T03:40:00.002-07:00

So I'm no longer a bum virgin and i have to say, Tina and all the other gf's [and many boys] who've been advising me to do it were right. I figured they were, now I know.

I knew some day i'd get here. Sodomy is the last of the hyper-conservative Christian hang-ups i've been burdened by. But with breaking up with my at-school boytoy and moving through new transitions in my life, it seemed to fit.

And on a more practical level, i knew that actually having intercourse with my gayboy roommate was unlikely [beyond the handjobs and bj's and times in the shower when we so gloriously aroused each other, often by him rubbing his cock on my bum until he came], so while he had always been willing to slide his cock into my bum, i wasn't.

And so knowing intercourse was out, i walked down the sodomy road with him. And the shower was where it all started. Sliding his cock between my bum cheeks, i asked him to press the head onto my asshole. Being not at all interested in bum play with cocks or fingers or tongues, I have harboured a strong desire to feel something there. And I liked how it felt. He pressed it there and i liked the sensation.

And after the shower we dried off and slid into his bed and after some serious bum massage he started fingering my hole. Then with lube on his fingers. Then with his cock. And in time his head was inside and in time he had some good pumping going.

Lying on my back i could press my clit while he slid in and out of my bum and i came in a real beautiful way rather quicker than i figured it would take. And when he came, i quickly got over his refusal fuck my pussy. :)

I knew it would be a fast conversion out of my anti-sodomy stance.

And I'm glad it was so delightful. So I'll be going back for more!

Sex Tip #13: Jealousy is a Monster, Put it on the Table

2008-02-24T03:20:00.005-07:00

OK in recent weeks, Ash, my boytoy at school has been dating another woman. Which is fine in our open relationship.

And since I'm going back to Vancouver in May after I graduate, I'm ok with him finding a new home for his loving.

"Megan" is not bi. I forgive her. :)

Megan is also 20. And while she's no child, she is younger than me. I am jealous. I won't pretend I'm not.

I wish Megan were bi. I'm jealous of her and Ash because they are enjoying each other's bodies [and everything else]. I think of my Maiwa girl [who I've never spoken to] and she isn't really mine but i can't have her. Jealous of those who do get her.

Megan is lots like me, personality wise so we get along when we aren't jokingly competing for attention. She happens to be quite a bit taller then me, as is Ash. She has strawberry blonde hair, smaller lips [tho cuter than mine i think], smaller hips and larger breasts. It's all comparison with me.

I envy things about her that are different from me because they are different from me. Not cuz they're better. Though some days i think they are. But that's just anxiety.

Not being bi, Megan hasn't really explored too much. The most wild she's gotten was in high school dating 3 guys at once over the course of grade 11. She was only sleeping with 2 of them at a time tho as the 3rd took a while to get there and the first became celibate with her after a while. Dating. What a concept. So much monogamy amoung youths today! :)

We rented The Center of the World last night [Friday]. Never seen it but I love Molly Parker. She was on fire erotic in it, along with that other woman Carla something...too tired to imdb her. So me and Ash and Megan are watching it and earlier in the night i was telling them both of how jealous i am of each of them. Gotta put the Jealousy monster on the table or it morphs into cancer.

And as the movie gets hotter and such, our libidos rise. I'm on a chair and Ash and Megan are on the couch snuggling, her sitting between his legs leaning on him and his likely rock hard cock. :)

His arm at one point moved from lying across her chest to feeling her boob. She smiled then moved it away. After weeks of hanging out together and with all our buds and her getting to know me and Ash's relationship [which saw sex decline steadily, but not end totally], I figured she still wasn't into being fondled in front of me.

And while Ash was clearly massaging her back with his cock, she wasn't much into it. Until the end of the movie when we watch Molly masterbate. And we all get hot. Clearly!

During it, Ash's hand finds Megan's boob again and she's not pushing it away. And his other hand is just sitting bewteen her thighs. And he says to me "Holly, can you open your top?"

Never one to pass up on that, I unbutton my flannel pj top and re-orient my body so i'm facing them, and i start my own rubbing. Mostly inside my jam bottoms, opened up a bit, with occasional breast work. And with this, Ash gets to work on Megan. Opening a button in her top, under her bra, and other hand onto her pussy. She opens her left leg up over his and leaves him room to rub her harder.

While it was Megan's first time being sexually involved with more than her partner in the room, she was able to get into it ok. And then she came.

And i was on a high watching him get her off. It was beautiful. Made me really jealous of him.

And as she came back down, Ash slid out and came over to me and pulled out his cock to rub on my chest and then for me to suck.

I'm getting to a point of closure with Ash. And his cock. I'm half a semester away from leaving and it's healthy to be disengaging like this.

After some sucking, Ash asked Megan to take off her pants and he left me and slid her thong aside and began sucking her. Then he said "do you want me in you?" and duh, she says yes. So he fucks her. Not particularly to drive me crazy, but in part to drive me crazy. :)

And I like them alot. And I'm happy they are bonded with each other. And I'm not angry along with my jealousy but I'm mostly sad at a phase of my life ending. And not that I want to keep everything as it is [tho i do a bit], i need to move on in my life. And working through my jealousy is a part of moving to the next chapter.

And Megan's so sweet. Grrrr. :) But I'm happy for them both.

And the moral of the story is that admitting jealousy clears the air of toxicity. It doesn't always lead to partying, but it leads to healthier relationships.

And not that i've been free of tears, but they've been healthy tears, moving on.

Sex Tip #12: Grinding Orgasms

2008-02-06T02:26:00.000-07:00

Ok so it's been a while since i've posted something new. thanks for the comments, particularly the email ones. thanks also for the ones that explain how much of a heathen i actually am. thanks. i've never thought of that before. lol

some nice grinding!

As porn goes, this is ok. i post it tho, because at the beginning there's some good dry humping. and if you're a christian girl who's not into penetration or hand jobs or blow jobs or if you're a christian boy who doesn't mind a bit of creamy mess in your shorts, grinding orgasms may be just for you.

i've enjoyed them a few times in recent months with my regulars and once with a someone new. cousin of a roommate who stayed a weekend. mostly it was just making out after movies and popcorn and before we could get any real plans for anything too elaborate, i found riding his cock to be immensely sweet. so i just kept going. me in my pajama pants and his hands up my top on my boobs. him in his sweats. a fun ride and when he came, i got excited and came too. much fun. it took a couple weeks of keeping it all to myself before i told my roommate. not that she'd object, but it was sorta mine for a while, then i shared it. that was nice.

and while neither of us are sex-avoiding christians, the technique works for christians.

so i recommend it!

Making it into the New Year...and Sex Parties.

2008-01-05T03:45:00.000-07:00

ok, so major apologies for being away.

late november became the usual paper and exam crunch time

it was also [work] research projects due.

then it all ended and my body goes HEY, TIME TO GET SICK cuz the semester's over. then it was sleep for a few says and some rehabilitory sex...that's always fun...and it's the holidays.

thanks for your emails about the holidays. some of you had interesting times...far more interesting than me. i envy you for that.

and those of you that have only HINTED at the fuck fests you've been in, especially ones surrounding church christmas pageant events...COME ON. you gotta gotta share. just SAYING you had good times is mean to me. look at what i put in here! and i won't blog what you say without your permission. if you read all the way through this you'll see that.

ok, then. time for some of you to fill in the details.

and for those of you who were forthcoming, thank you. i respect that. :)

i respect the rest of you too. :)

so after holidays with roommates/friends/boytoy it has been time to gear up for the new year. oh, and christmas was warm and spiritual in our home this year. even though my two female roomies aren't so much into the religion thing, my gayboy roomie and i got to a new level of spiritual convergence. i loved that. unexpected but awesome. god works wonderfully.

so new year's. i was talking tonight to a girl i know who's a bit younger then me. we were talking about fuckfests/sex parties and such. i mentioned that i knew some girls in university [my first disastrous school i went to where i came out of my sexual and conservative christian shell] who got into sex parties in high school. not always intercourse orgies, but events where some of that happened, but lots of sucking and fingering and boys cumming on boobs.

my young friend tonight hasn't been into that and i said that she should host a sex party. not like 40 people, but a few. folks who don't necessarily want to swap bf/gf, but people who'd get off getting off with others getting off.

and she described to me a party she went to last night with 2 other couples. she was a 5th wheel. and i started asking her how it would have been if some nasty stuff got going.

i really think she should host a party like that.

ground rules:

- condoms
- full consensual activities
- acceptable to just watch others
- no swapping required
- some good booze and pot
- self-pleasure is acceptable
- leaving at any time is fine

and maybe some others if you can think of them.

so all this is all leading up to the point of the post: our new year's sex party. it was me and my boytoy and my two female roomies in one of my roomies' mom's cabin. [they call them cottages here, i don't know why]. lol

up there new year's eve with enough booze and pot to last until last night. except i was the only one to bring pot because boytoy forgot it, tho he swears he packed it. that means the last day or so we were just mildly booze-buzzed instead of sublimed out.

so what was the sex party. i used to date one of my roomies. now we just fuck. my other roomie and me started fucking a little over a year ago. i was part of her bi initiation. and my two roomies also get on with each other. and of course, i fuck my boytoy, but neither of them do.

so, being the organizer of the week away, i ended up getting to fuck everyone. the perks of being the host: inviting all who you wanna get into.

and boytoy only fucked me. tho he fucked himself many a times while the rest of us were at it.

the sex tip here is that hosting a sex party with participants who are hyper-comfortable with each other and ground rules is an amazing time. ours lasted 4 days. and there was even a strange clarity that came from the last 2 nights with no pot. i gotta look into that some more i think.

and as part of my views of a christian-compatible sexlife, all 4 of us honoured ourselves and each other in our activities. there was always respect, always freedom, never compulsion, and always intimacy. it was a beautiful end to holidays before school swings back in on monday [well tuesday for me, thank god].

and as i send this to my young friend, i wish her good imaginings and hearty plannings for her first sex party. i recommend she [and all the rest of you] write out a wish list of all the things you'd like to get out of such a party. if it's inviting a couple and 2 other singles over or 2 couples or whatever, figure out the best case scenario for what you wanna do with who and invite the people who can make that happen.

then, it's not about setting up the party so you can get that, but looking at the other half of it all: who do you want to pleasure.

and the success of the party comes in the intersection of those things. people getting as much as they hope for and giving as much as they can.

that describes my week to a T. and i hope my young friend can get herself some nice teen cock, pussy and breasts before she grows too old. and as always, i'm open to her and anyone else who wants to talk more about the logistics of getting this all done.

becoming a respected sex party host is a wonderful thing. believe me.

in touch,
holly

My Adoring Public :)

2007-11-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

ok so i'm no superstar or celebrity, but i do like to talk. those of you who've been on msn with me know that.

and all humility aside, i enjoy being able to engage with people in their issues. i'm no trained counsellor, but i listen well and ask good questions. and since i'm obsessed with sex and christianity, i'm always into talking about those things. and those things often tend to lead elsewhere.

pierre. he's a sweet guy. reminds me of "kevin" in here. but pierre [real name, lives in quebec city and doesn't care if i say so] is 28 and in a relationship but wishing he were in more deeply. in the last few months i've walked him through exploring blindfolds in sex with his gf, telling her that sometimes he just wants to masterbate with her watching, eating her pussy [because he's one of the millions of boys who's just not into that. dumb.], and not feeling bad about cumming on her body...anywhere...at all.

whew. i feel like i'm providing a healthy community service. it makes me feel awesome.

and in these long chats, i bill my chat partners. i often send a joke invoice for like $5,500 itemized to include all the little elements of conversation i provide as a service.

pierre, a virgin until 24, a boy with only 2 sex partners [not counting the boy and 2 girls he played house with when he was in grade 7], where his first sex partner was a girl he dated for only 5 days and his second [current] he's been with for 2 years now [though no sex for !!! the first 7 months, just 2nd base], pierre responded to my bill. he certainly didn't pay me the $4,200 i was charging him for months of conversations, but he did say he wanted to buy me a gift up to $100 out of gratitude.

so even though i'm always asking for gifts/payment, i said no because i'm kidding. but this went back and forth for a long time and in the end i had to stuff my embarrassment and accept a gift when i really didn't mean to. and it's all about the spirit of giving. and i respect that for pierre. and for his gf, who he feels more open with now and i am a part of that process. tho pierre did 98% of the work in that kinda growth.

so he paypalled me the $100 and i picked out two things from guess. because why not. nice stuff there. and i put in the difference, which was like only $30 or something so it's ok. i got the sweater above and this here because its sexy and easy to go braless with. and you know how i like to be braless.

and in the end i told pierre how i would publicly thank him. so thank you pierre.

and so despite the acrylic in the cardigan, i wore it out last night with ash and some other buds to our pub. i wore a simple oversized white cami under it and no bra and only the bottom 2 buttons done up. and when the time was right around 130am ash took me into the mens room and into a stall and i slid my cami down for ash to titfuck me. and after some sucking and stroking he slid his cock so nicely over my breasts that his cum ended up being the transition to a much longer then expected session.

and a couple drops squirted onto my cami. which became the focus of some initially unwelcome conversation back in the booth. eventually we all laughed about it. i wasn't really blushing on it, but i just usually like my sex to be slightly more secret when its supposed to be illicit like that. but no sweat. it was fun. and in the end i kinda enjoyed seeing our buds look at my breasts and see ash's cum on my cami. thats the exhibitionist in me. which wasn't really stoked by being in the bathroom because no one came while we were in there. but that's ok too. the only truly awkward moment came when one of my buds asked the server at one point that if she could bring over a rag because holly got a protein spill on her shirt. and he pointed at me and she looked at me concerned about a spill and then upon closer examination and gauging the context better she figured out what he was talking about and immediately felt like she just walked in on us having sex. but that passed after a few seconds.

and now i know the next time i see her in the pub, the smile i give her [which she always gets] will have an added context of knowing in it. that she knows that my boytoy spilled cum on my top in her pub. and that it's our secret. it kinda bonds us together i think. :)

so pierre, i hereby thank you again for your gift. and ash thanks you as well. and our friends in the pub thank you. and i already know that your gf thanks you [and me, and you really can tell her about me if you like, nothing to be ashamed of!]. and as promised i have related to you an enjoyable moment wearing the sweater.

i haven't worn the dress yet, but when i do i'll send you that story as well. promise.

in touch,
holly

Hating the Sin[ner], Loving the Sinner

2007-10-22T01:51:00.000-06:00

UPDATED October 25, 2007 [see the end]

ok. yall can be the judge of this.

here is an email exchange between me and this fellow. he's starting to bug me, and for good reason. i've taken the nested replies and reversed the order here so you can read for yourself in order how it has flowed and where it changed. if i'm in the wrong, dear readers, i know you'll let me know. :)

first i get this email [in pink] from a website i've signed up at. it's not spam. then i reply to the email and i get a reply and back and forth for a bit.

Christian Singles Newsletter vol.:2007-5

Dear Friends:

Well hello and welcome to the Christian Dating Service PLUS! September 2007 singles newsletter!

Times sure flies by! Can you believe that Fall is upon us? I don't know about you, but I absolutely love this time of year. In my neck of the woods we have leaves turning beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red, cool, starlit evenings and the signs of Harvest all around us in the form of pumpkins, corn, cranberries and other choice crops.

Ever notice how Harvest Time always happens at just the right time? It's a great sign of God's faithfulness and love for us, in providing exactly what we need to survive and prosper.

I know many reading this may be wondering when their "harvest" regarding that special Christian dating relationship may happen. I personally know how difficult it is in times like these, but as you wait on the Lord for that special someone, pray over these verses:

~If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?~ Romans 8:31,32

Did you know that we have a team of folks praying for you all collectively? But if you have personal prayer request or want to get in touch with us for some other reason, just let us know anytime 24/7, and we will get back to you promptly. You can also leave your comments on our site.

Hey, do you know that God desires a relationship with you? If you're not sure about His love and great plan for you life, please be sure to check this out!

Hope you enjoy our Christian Singles Newsletter...Please remember me in your prayers...

Cheers and Blessings!

David
Romans 15:13

Christian Singles Newsletter Table of Contents:

>>> A Short Announcement

>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of Month
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tip
>>> Relationship Quote of the Month
>>> Most Popular Article of Month
>>> A Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward Singles
>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the Month

Note: We need YOU! Christian Dating Service PLUS! is successful because of the Lord and you. We get most of our stuff from you, so if you have a dating tip, a singles related podcast or article, idea topics for our upcoming Forum, a love poem, survey questions or love song lyrics that you'd like to share with tens of thousands of other Christian singles, send it on out. We'll be happy to use it, and acknowledge you by linking back to you. I figure if we all help each other, we'll all be blessed in the process. Sounds good?

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Announcements-

1) As noted in our previous newsletter, a we are getting ready to put up a forum where Christian singles can talk directly with each other on a variety of topics that interests them. If you are interested in helping out, or have any idea about this, please get in touch with us. We get hundreds of singles each month wishing to reach out directly with others, and we see this as a great way to do it.

2) In our last newsletter I wrote that our SINGLES SURVEY results on dating and church attendance would be released on our site on 9/9/07! However, being in the hospital four times in the last few weeks has set us back a week or two. I apologize, and will be releasing results on our site with cool charts shortly. Here are some interesting finding so far:

a) Both single men and single women who avoid church (attend less than 1x per month) gave the top reason for singles doing so is because church is more structured toward married folks. Do you agree or disagree?

b) Never married single gals worry most about money/bills and then their dating life; Never married single guys worry most about dating relationships followed by their careers. What do you make of that?

Feel free to write an article on either one of the survey findings

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of the Month

Just your typical Christian singles group....

>>> http://thebackpew.com/backpew/0_holykiss.htm

Read here about other Christian singles groups "benefits" you may want to consider.

Special thanks to Jeff Larson at Back Pew Greeting Cards.

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tips-

Top 7 Reasons You May Want to Try Online Christian Dating...

>>> http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/dating-relationships-top-reasons-to-try-online.htm

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>> Relationship Quote of the Month-

~Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.~Mark Twain

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>>Most Popular Article of Month-

Inquiring minds want to Know Why Good Christian Girls Date Bad Guys...

>>> http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/christian-single-girls-who-date-bad-guys.htm

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>>Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward Singles

Many singles are worried about money, bills and debt....Cheer up, help is on the way:

>>> http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/debt-advice-podcast-for-christian-singles.htm

By the way...do you have an audio or video podcast or MP3 message regarding the Christian single life you would like broadcasted to tens of thousands of singles each month worldwide? Just let us know, and we'll be glad to help out!

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the Month

Have You Ever Been In Love? Celine Dion

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever walked on air, ever
Felt like you were dreamin'
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...
Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
I ain't looking anymore
Have you ever been...
Some place that you ain't leavin'
Somewhere you gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin'
Have you ever felt this way?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...
Have you ever been in love?
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn't matter near or far
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?
So in love

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: You have received this newsletter because you either signed up for it, or were referred by a friend.
To stop receiving this please just let us know.

© Christian Dating Service PLUS! 2007

holly holly wrote:
thanks for this. nice to get the updates.

tho i can do without celine dion lyrics. i'm so over her. :)

in touch,
holly
Sex Tips for Christian Girls
http://stcg.blogspot.com

david wrote:

Dear Holly:

You're a funny chick. Also, although I don't agree with your views on your blog, you are a very compelling writer. Are you really from Vancouver, I have a cousin, and she's a pastor there. So tell me what you're really like?

David

holly holly wrote:
thanks for the compliments on my humour and writing. both have come a long way in the last half decade.

i consider vancouver my hometown. i grew up 5 hours from there [not going back there] and always gravitate home to vancouver when not at school. i did do a year at ubc there early on. it had its ups and downs, but the city seeped into my heart.

i also attended several different kinds of churches while i was there. which denomination is she a pastor in?

what am i really like? well, i believe in truth. i've lived too much of my life with people lying around me so i live a hard core version of truth now. thus my blog. it's not fiction or fantasy [except for some of the fantasies in there]. it's me. what am i really like? i think my blog expresses that. that's what blogs are supposed to do.

and i don't know you or anything or how old you are, so i don't know if this would be relevant or out of place, but "chick" is a sexist, demeaning and infantilizing term when applied to a woman. i use it with some of my friends and vice versa. but it isn't used with strangers. nigger is used by some of my black friends. i don't use it though, for the same reason. and if you didn't mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it's something you should watch out for.

in touch,
holly

david wrote:
what a shame, Holly! for a minute there I thought you were refreshing and interesting and truly liberal in the best sense. Now it appears you are just another politically correct person (chick, babe, slut, hey you fill in the blanks) who lets the speech of others affect them. is it insecurity that effects people in this way? Would you be offended if I told you to kiss my white ass? poor little girl. I'm sure your choice of words in your blog offends people. but do you care? hell no. So grow up Ok? and stop being such a hypocritical weasel. I want you to know that I still love you, so please keep in touch.

holly holly wrote:
just another politically correct person? wow. how can it be so easy to dismiss and minimize me for something honest i say. do you say negro or coloured person to talk about blacks or african americans? would someone be "just another" politically correct black person if they asked you to not refer to them as coloured?

do you refer to single women as miss or ms.? if you say miss, are you offended when people ask you not to? do you say ms.? then my point is made. do you say ms. grudgingly? then you may never GET my point.

so am i insecure or weak if someone else's speech affects me? if you were to call black people niggers would you expect them to not be offended? wow.

i believe i am strong enough to let someone know when they offend me. if it is weak to be offended, then you may be betraying a white, judeo-christian demographically dominant insensitivity. or maybe that is as out of line, stereotypical and offensive of me as you are continuing to be with me.

and now i'm wondering how you would define a "liberal in the best sense"...what kind of personality traits would make your "best" liberal? i'm not sure i'd WANT to exhibit any of those traits.

i don't care if your ass is white or not. i'm not offended by you expressing the anger towards me that makes you want me to kiss your ass. i can take that. i can handle that. it's just a "no thanks" from me.

why do you think i don't care that people are offended by my blog? how could you possibly know this? i value a greater good that i'm pursuing than just avoiding offending people. if the "language" of my blog were completely unoffensive [which couldn't happen based on what i write about], then the content would offend people. when people send me emails about what's wrong with me and my blog [and tina...], they don't complain about language. they don't like the content. i respect their feelings. i've BEEN where they are. i've believed those things. i write my blog to offer girls a sense of another way. if they change, great. if they don't, fine. everyone chooses their life choices.

i'm only hypocritical in your eyes because you've decided you know the answer to the question you ask about me. that's condescending and presumptuous.

and i'll tell you something. of all the hate/disagreement email i've received from my blog, the ones i respect are from christians who demonstrate consistency in their own responses to my blog. people who act with some sense of respect that i'm a different person from them. people who don't demonstrate condescension to me while claiming they love me. people who do not slide into demeaning personal attacks. people who are apparently upstanding enough that if they were to run a christian dating website that they'd be able to not tell me to kiss their ass, tell me to grow up, presume they know me enough to speak for me then call me hypocritical and a weasel, then say at the end what has become the bumpersticker of christian fundamentalist hypocrisy: i still love you. after you've been this rude to me. hate the sin, love the sinner. does that work with hate the sin [and offend the sinner] and love the sinner? doesn't wash with me. it never has and you've perpetuated why it doesn't.

i tell you, if i treated people's complaints about my blog with the dismissiveness as you have treated me when i told you one little thing about how millions of women feel about the word "chick" i think you may have far more problems playing nicely with others than you might think i have.

this is why when i wrote the chick thing i was humble enough to say a few things:

"and i don't know you or anything or how old you are, so i don't know if this would be relevant or out of place,"

"and if you didn't mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it's something you should watch out for."

i write these things because i KNOW that i barely know you and email is often tough to get a true sense of a person's communication style. those were disclaimers that apparently didn't work. and now i'm thinking it wasn't worth the effort.

so you still love me and you want me to please keep in touch? my question of you is why? i am not a kind of person who will roll over when people answer questions for me, call me a weasel, tell me to kiss their ass and grow up. i had exactly enough of that kind of controlling behaviour in the church i grew up in. if you wish to try that nonsense on me now any further, you'll get me assertively telling you to stick your condescension back in whatever twisted interpretation of the bible you MAY feel justifies your way of communicating with virtual perfect strangers.

wow. you are sure a piece of work. in the end, i stand by my words. i wonder if the words you just sent to me you would feel comfortable posting on your own godly christian singles website. in fact, i dare you to post them there. if you are the kind of person with the "integrity" to send these words to me in a private email, are you also the kind of person who is willing to post them on your site?

please reply to this one, because i need to know whether or not to post all of this on MY website. i stand by my words. do you?

in touch,
holly

david butler wrote:

Dear Holly:

Now that's what I'm looking for! Some spunk and passion! Holly I believe in a free exchange of ideas.I just speak my mind, and if others are offended, well I'm sorry. It's just not my heart to hurt people. My whole point in my last discourse with you is that people are too sensitive nowadays, and should not be offended by the words of others. You called me a Fundamentalist. I can handle it. (By the way, I'm not a Fundy). Fundamentalists hate my site because I dare talk about Taboo subjects like masturbation. And I am not dismissing or minimizing you. Just stop judging folks by their words. Words mean nothing. It's actions that count. If you've seen hypocrisy in other Christians before, and been hurt by them, you've probably had someone say one thing, yet do another. I do love you, and if we were speaking in person, you would see that I am just a REAL and warm and passionate person who love Jesus, but just says it like it is. Of course you can put this on your site, who cares?

Your friend,

david

holly holly wrote:

well now you've got me confused enough to end this.

it's just not your heart to hurt people, yet you speak your mind and if others are offended you're sorry. that's a little inconsistent.

people are too sensitive, so you bait me. ok. i see. that says a lot about you.

you don't believe people should be offended by others' words. you still haven't answered my question about whether you call black people niggers. i assume you don't. if you don't you're lying about people shouldn't be offended by others' words. if you do call black people niggers, you are disgusting. either way, this makes you look at best inconsistent, at worst sociopathic.

your love for me is extraordinarily uncomfortable with your ease at abusing me, then saying you don't wish to offend. this is classic mind-fuck. you are a sick person.

words do not mean nothing. if you truly believe they don't, you should start saying nigger regularly and see what nothing means. if you think words OUGHT to mean nothing, you haven't experienced systemic discrimination or abuse as many minorities have. i pity your privilege.

you are a sad, inconsistent individual with a godly sounding website and a heart of manipulation and self-centredness.

and you sign it "your friend". this shows how clearly deluded you are. if you believe i can see you as a friend because you say you love me i truly weep for your sense of reality.

do not contact me again.

no longer in touch,
holly

And the final nail in this fuck's coffin: he's been full of lies. It's like that old cartoon that shows two dogs, one on a computer, saying to the other "On the internet noone knows you're a dog." And there's always a chance that he isn't the brother, but the fellow himself trying to distance himself from his pig-dogness. Either way, he re-affirms my sense of the depravity of people. I'm just glad that real people in my life are honest...and many online too, which is nice. But this guy's a prick:

david butler wrote:

Holly

This is the classic attack of a liberal who is not really liberal: Instead of attacking the issue..you attack the person.....By the way, I don't run this web site, nor do I write for it or believe in it. My brother David does....He needed used MY email address (see above) write his stupid ass newsletter to all you people because his server broke down one day....Me...I was just having fun with all you sad idiots who have no better time than to read his shit....so gullible...

By the way, if you're ever in seattle, drop by and have a drink with me at college avenue southwest. You obviously need a man(23) in your life.

Drew

Sex Tip #11: Perhaps Don't Sleep with a Married Man

2007-09-24T17:22:00.000-06:00

This has been a difficult post to prepare.

I have a few other things I wanted to write about, but this one seems to have taken over my brain.

I know Holly's story about adultery. I know what she wrote in here. I know what else she told me about it. I understand the context. I don't judge her for what she did. Part of me doesn't approve of it. Part of me understands it. She knows how I feel about it all. All my conflicting feelings.

Being a divorced person is an interesting cross to bear. Particularly in a Christian community. My relationship with Barry is working for what it is. And for that I'm grateful and happy.

But I don't know how I would deal with being in a marriage and needing to get out, like Holly's situation. So I don't judge.

But in the end, I called this sex tip not sleeping with a married man. Perhaps. I say perhaps because I'm mostly sure it's wrong. And I think I'm informed about it and not just speculating.

And the funny coincidence...maybe not so funny is that my informed state comes from Keats camp, which is sort of connected to Holly's situation.

So. The story. Holly has convinced me it's worth telling.

Some time before I went to church with no bra on I went to Keats camp for an event. The nature of it isn't relevant. It had couples and singles and more than a few divorced people and divorced people who were remarried.

I met a woman in one of the workshop groups. "Patty" had 3 kids, in her mid-thirties, married to "Frank" for almost 12 years and was a relatively new Christian with her Frank. She was also a deeply funny person. Amazing sense of humour. But she also was lacking an ability to be open and honest. That came up in the group. There were 5 women and she and her friend shared insights about each other. Quite open in that sense, but never really for her was there anything that she would share about herself of substance.

And that was ok in the end because we're all strangers. But her friend kept remarking on how hard it was to get anything from her.

Anyway that was most of my impression of her. Frank I quite liked. A gentle guy who played ice hockey 3 times a week. Yay. He knew what physicality meant but he was also an emotionally aware guy. Not lots of them around. Generally quite happy but in the end only mostly. Missing something was my sense of him.

So a number of us exchanged email addresses and stuff and we thought about meeting a few weeks after the Keats event for a chat and an update on issues we talked about there.

Nothing came of that. Good intentions but that was it.

Then a few days after I went to church without a bra [which has become a kind of marker separating events for me this summer], Frank emails and we start chatting about things: work, life, church, parenting, but not marriage. A few emails go by and I'm enjoying this, but I'm thinking, what about Patty? A few more emails and he gets to it. He's thinking he's unhappy but he's blocked in figuring it out.

We meet after work one night for a glass of wine and start talking about things. He's a bookeeper and works late a lot and I feel like the other woman. He's also a transit guy too and we take the #20 back towards home. I get off first to connect to my bus and before I stand up to go, he puts his hand on my knee when we're saying bye. Not overtly. Not meaninglessly either. Felt nice. Tingles even. I liked that. But I also felt guilty. For good reason.

Then a few weeks ago when summer has definitely given up trying to actually be here, we meet again for wine after work. We talk some more about all the safe topics and then he gets onto the place I figured he was at: out of love with his wife and 3 kids. He is showing some sadness but I know he's hiding much more sadness because maybe we're in a bar.

I ask if he'd like to come over to talk more. Yes. Cab ride. Home. A bottle of wine opened. And after about 10 minutes he's just letting it all out. So sad at it being dead for him. And he gets quiet into a funk.

I never liked hockey players in high school. Frank's no hockey player, but he plays hockey. That kind of thing ran through my head a lot that night at the bar. Totally off topic, but it was the issue of what I think of him kicking around in my head. Underneath it all was being available for him as a person, but I also wanted to have sex with him. Never consciously in my head, but always in between the lines.

And in his funk I put my hand on his knee and he puts his hand on my hand. Then on my knee. Then on my shoulder and we're kissing. Then it's on my breast and mine is on his crotch and from there we're having sex on the couch and I loved it. Duh.

I didn't cum, but he really did and pretty briskly. He hadn't had sex in weeks and weeks he said. I could tell. He masturbated a lot but he hadn't fucked his wife in so long. A sexless rut that was more than a rut I thought.

After the sex we just hung out on the couch doing the cuddle thing while he played with my nipples. Eventually I got him hard again and we fucked again until I came. In the end it helped that his finger was in my bum when we were in the doggy position. I wanted to come so badly because if I was having sex with a married man I wanted to at least feel some joy in it and for all the time we were doing it and I didn't come I wanted to. And I started getting anxious about it. Go ahead and psychoanalyze that. Good luck to ya! :)

And then we broke it off. He emailed the next day and said he wasn't sure we should do it again. I emailed back saying ok. I'm also talking with Holly about it and she's easing my grief/guilt. But the next day he phones and comes over on the Saturday afternoon and we fuck some more. And then again this past Saturday afternoon.

And as it is now, I don't want to stop because I like how he does my bum. I like how he sucks me and I like the illicit nature of it all. It's a mad rush.

But I also feel bad. He's in charge of his marriage, but I'm truly the other woman. And the biggest thing, though I've talked with Holly about this, I haven't talked to Barry. And I don't have a real sense of why. We're not exclusive and we've been with others since last winter, but I just don't want to talk to him about it. Maybe I'd feel ashamed around him? Don't know. He's not one to judge so there's no risk there.

Maybe it's my conscience. But until I figure it all out, the sex tip is to not sleep with married men.

In dreams,
Tina

Slumber Party Gone to a New Level?

2007-09-02T00:56:00.000-06:00

so i'm back at school now. my flight back from vancouver today was uneventful. my ride from the airport from ashland was amazing. the car was like full of balloons...all valentine red. not helium, just blown up and dumped in the backseat.

so now despite timezone wonking, i'm up and posting this. i've been working on this post for so long and tossing out shit like crazy. i ended up tossing it all and describe to yall what i'm trying to do. in general. and i need HELLLLLLLLLP! :)

oh yes, there's no sex tip in here this time. sorry. :)

I got this image from dumpstersluts.com an interesting blog/porn site that buddy in vancouver hangs out at once in a while.

i'm against porn when it's used to oppress women and men [yes, men, that can happen too]. i'm generally for porn tho because of its sexually liberating tendencies.

when i was a teenager i was a largely fundamentalist christian. i wasn't hard core cuz i really didn't get WHY some of my truly hard core christian buddies were so over the top about it. i was committed though. and with a lame family life [well tragically awful, but whatever] i found a real peace in embracing the TRUTH of it all cuz it was right and everything else was wrong.

and so as a good christian girl i was very inexperienced once i made it to university. and it took me even a few years outta high school to get my shit together enough to get to university.

and in university i found sex and relationships and the POWER that surrounds all that.

so i'm left as a girl in my mid-20s starting to get a handle on things that others do from grade 9 or 10 onward.

and so as a teenager i missed out. and i only regret that at small times, but other times i take it all as life lessons.

so the picture...i've been thinking about using it as a guide to write a short story/fantasy sex thing. but i've hit a blank.

i don't know these girls [obviously] and i don't know if it was a slumber party, tho the girl in the centre with the cum on her face seems to be wearing a flannel nightie. but who really knows except the girls.

i've tried to image what a late-teen or early 20something's slumber party would be like when guys show up and maybe there's a rainbow party. and how it gets to a point that a boy with a camera and a cock out gets to cum on a girl like this.

i mean, i know how that can work in my context but i can't IMAGINE how that would work as a younger person cuz when i was that age, i was religiously celibate. and if it were to happen now, it would not be a "slumber party" as i imagine that to be.

so i'm left with how to write a story about this pix. and so i leave it to yall. send in a comment. email me. whatever. get me going on it. :)

thanks!

in touch,
holly

Facebook Sucks

2007-08-28T02:16:00.000-06:00

no sex tip here. it's just that facebook sucks.

they have twice deleted my account for spamming.

absolutely amazing. as far as i can tell it only takes a series of words repeated in posts or posts too close together in time to be completely deleted from facebook. there seems to be no human involved in the process.

below is the email i sent the second time i got deleted. at the top is the response they sent me at my appeal. it was word for word the same response i got the first time i was nailed.

it seems when i end my posts/emails with

in touch,
holly

i am spamming. those are the only words that were common to all the various emails and posts that got flagged as spam. amazing.

Hi Holly,

Your account has been disabled because you have violated
Facebook's Terms of Use. Abusing the features of the site
to spam other people is not permitted. I'm sorry, but you
will no longer be able to use Facebook. This decision is
final.

Thanks for your understanding,

Jonas
Customer Support Representative
Facebook

[stcgirls@hotmail.com - Fri Aug 24 01:45:31 2007]:

i get a spam warning because a dozen people try to add
me. people i don't know. so i write a note saying "hey, how
do i know you?" and stuff to find out why they wanna add
me.

and since like a dozen people try to add me i just
paste it in there.

and i get the spam warning. fine. it's
obvious to me the server saw me putting the same thing
in.

but isn't there an actual person who figures out the
context before a spam warning?

then all of a sudden i'm posting something in a group and i get disabled?

i totally don't get that. the disabling rules seem really inconsistent.
was there a human at all who decided anything or is it all
automated?

holly

in touch,
holly

if you knew me in facebook, please email me at my address on my blog. i welcome your contact!

Sex Tip #10: Nipple Flashing for Fun and Profit!

2007-08-23T23:10:00.000-06:00

i'm a feminist and all that, but i'm also sensible. we live in an anti-woman society. we get paid 71% of what men do [5 years ago it was all the way up to 72% so it's going down!], and we are biologically at greater risk of STIs than boys.

i had a long msn chat conversation with a gal friend recently who's a MILF with a 15-ish year old son, whose friends turn her on. we talked alot about how to feel erotic about playing a MILF for the friends [one in particular] without having to go and have sex with the boy. and i told her what i do with my blouses and bras sometimes.

i brought it up in an email exchange with a new online bud tonight when i mentioned that i'm staying with buddy rent-free this summer in exchange for sex. which i guess makes me a prostitute. but then he's not some smelly geek. he's buddy from many postings last summer. my vancouver boytoy. good relationship. friend with lots of benefits but an open relationship. quite healthy actually. and if two people live together and one doesn't work [even a wife/husband], doesn't that person participate in a relationship [including fucking] for "rent." here's what i wrote in my emails:

"i am finding young boys to buy me drinks as my summer wad of cash is almost gone and my flight back to school isn't for another week and a bit. not hard. put on a loose fitting top, do up my bra one clasp too big and i get all the belinis i want all night."

and what do the guys get for a $6 belini or two, a relatively cheap peep show, that frankly is 30-90 minutes of the tease of trying to see nipple, getting to glance down my top quite a bit and maybe not even being lucky enough to see a nipple. and they like to talk with girls and buying us a drink lets them do it for a while. and while most of them aren't interesting enough to date, they're all [ok virtually all] interesting enough as PEOPLE to have a conversation with. and if they like to look at my chest, i feel erotic. nice deal all around. but a $6 belini [or even 2 or 4] doesn't get a random boy a fuck, a blowjob or a handjob. even hookers charge way more than that.

so in my emails tonight, my new online buddy replied how i make "slutty-chic look easy" and that he wished he could fuck for rent sometimes.

this is where i hit my brainstorm in my reply...

"guys CAN fuck for rent. they just have to change society, get rid of chauvinism, pay women 100% of what men make not 72% and then they get EQUALITY! men's suffragettes need to get active. you are an oppressed gender. time to heal society so you get what we get. and i'm hardly chic. i TRY but i dont have the fashion sense to pull it off. letting guys peek at my breasts in hopes of seeing a nipple requires NO chic whatsoever."

that's my genius wisdom tonight. it's not often that girls have the upper hand at anything. i get "free" room and "free" drinks all summer. many different types of feminism object to these methods and i totally understand their arguments. i can't even object to them and prove them wrong. all i can say is that while things are unequal, i have the right to seek some redress sometimes.

and if you like the braless sex tip last time, this one should fit right in. :)

in touch,
holly
Sex Tips for Christian Girls
http://stcg.blogspot.com

Sodomy, the Pastor's Wife, Borat: Sex Tip #9...Anal Almost Equals Oral Sex

2007-08-19T14:47:00.000-06:00

OK. I went to see Borat several weeks ago. Mostly funny. A bit long though. I'll watch his show though.

I went with Barry. We've been hanging out more. I have a scorecard to share too before I get into my story.

Sex with Barry: many many times over the last 8 months.

Sex with Vicky and John: twice now, once with Barry there too, when I bought my new scuba cut bathing suit. More on that later.

Sex with Holly: one tentative time [I didn't climax], one time with Barry too, one not so tentative time [I climaxed twice], once with Holly and her buddy, the man whose bed she sleeps in and/so doesn't have to pay rent in Vancouver this summer.

Sodomy: 7 times.

And this is the tip. Vaginal intercourse is what it is. Oral sex, blowing boys, is what it is. Anal sex, Barry's penis in my bum, is on par with oral sex.

That's my conclusion.

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash. That's what I hear is the old British Navy. Funny.

Sodomy in the Bible is pretty precise. And I think it's all about keeping boys from boning other boys.

And I know very well that Holly isn't into bum stuff. And I know that my first post in here had some dancing around the bum thing. And Barry had never done anal before me either. And eventually we just tried it. Took some practice. Felt a little odd. We found our rhythm. And it is sweet. And I love Holly and respect her bum and it's hers to do with as she pleases. Yeah for bums!

So we've gone all anal. And we still do other things, but bum fun is fun. That's it. Nice climaxes. For both of us.

So Borat.

We went out to a big theatre to see Borat. Lots of shows there. We pay for tickets and walk in. We're winding around lines and things wanting to get seats before food.

Barry's walking behind me as we hit a traffic jam. He bumps my bum with his cock as we slide beside the line, ducking past a big cardboard movie poster. And he says loud enough for anyone to hear [if they're close by], "Want it in your bum tonight?" And I'm nodding and smiling.

And since no one is around, we're fine.

Except.

Except our youth pastor's wife is standing behind the cardboard movie poster and hears it all. And as Barry is saying it, I'm looking the other way. And I hear the abrupt ceasing of a conversation coming from behind the big poster. So I look over and see her. And a friend of hers who I don't like because she has virtually no personality [at least in my presence].

And we just keep walking because Barry doesn't really know her and I don't let on. Though my face turns red as my hair. So I tell him it all when we get seats. I'm looking around and they don't come in. No surprise they're not seeing Borat.

And Barry is just loving it. And off he goes to get food.

And I sit there thinking, just what is wrong with sodomy anyway, when I'm a woman. :)

And I don't want to get all theological and everything. Holly's good and whipping through the history of the church to let me know what backstory explains parts of the Bible. But I don't care.

And I don't care what my pastor's wife thinks of my anal sex. A tiny bit of me cares but the rest is out to end that little bit.

And Barry sure doesn't care.

And my sex tip is for Holly and all other girls who are scared off of anal sex because of anti gayboy stuff in the Bible. Try it. If you like it, AWESOME. If you don't, you can let it go.

And if you don't want to try it, great. Respect your own feelings. Holly does. And even though I even showed her the picture we took of Barry in my bum, and she liked it, she's still not game. And I totally respect her for that.

In dreams,
Tina

Sex Tip #8: Go to Church Braless

2007-08-15T19:52:00.000-06:00

I went to worship service Sunday night. The weather was fine so the day was in the sun.

Holly came with me. She hasn't been here for years. It was a good service. Lots of worship. Lots of arms waving in the air. Lots of singing. It felt good.

The day was fun, with Holly and a quick drink at tea time at Bimini with Barry. Bad red wine. How is that possible, Bimini, say it isn't really so. But it was.

But during our day, Holly and I shopped. We don't like to shop. It's stressful, but the shopping was a delightful distraction from things amongst us.

And we hit one place on the Drive with some fantastic fabrics and clothes. There was an amazing Guatemalan design. If you know anything from there, you know what I mean. It was a light white cotton strapless halter with lace inset and a "Guatemalan" trim on the top elastic.

Having perfect though small breasts, the halter fit snugly and comfortably. In trying it on, I abandoned my bra. A nice bra, red. It spent the rest of the day in my sack. Then it was texting Barry on the way to Bimini and donairs for dinner.

Yawn. Ok I'm getting to it.

I write this because I didn't intend to go to worship braless. Truly. But I don't apologize.

I had a bra, but it so didn't go with the top. And for the afternoon, even with the subpar red wine, I enjoyed people looking at my top, and my breasts beneath. You couldn't really "see" anything, but you could make them out well. But that was Bimini when everyone looks at you as if they're rubbing your ass. Which is fine.

But drinking and eating too late meant it was too tight to whip back home to get a strapless bra and I said ok. Let's go to church. It'll be fine.

Sunday night worship on a sunny summer day is no big deal. Not a huge turnout. The church ladies that Holly dreads so much don't go because overhead projector hymns don't do it for them.

And the air conditioner is not so great anyway, so THAT problem wasn't a big worry.

And I like my breasts. As does Barry. And Holly. And Vicky and John. And my husband did too. And others, but I don't write about them here. :)

So we go to church and Holly has a good time, though she takes a while to relax. Understandable after some of the weirdness here for her.

And there's the singing and the quiet prayer and the talking prayers and such. A moving evening.

And I caught no one gawking at my breasts. Though a few times I found a few eyes looking around for a little too long. And I felt pretty and desirable and not like a whore, even though some Sunday morning women would look at me like I was.

But it is summer, so the argument goes even on days where it's grimy out. And it was a warm night and we were out and God welcomed me into his presence regardless of whether I was wearing a bra.

And I'm not dating any of the guys or looking to. I'm fine single and doing what I do.

And Christian girls who feel like not wearing a bra should not feel horrified by it. And I know that some girls have less ease at this option than me. I respect that and I don't want to preach. But my lesson from Sunday night is that you should think hard about going braless to church once or twice.

In part, it says to God that you are the fullness of who you are. God loves all of each of us, even our bodies as a part of our being. And He knows us anyway. So since God knew I spent the afternoon without a bra and I honoured him in my life all day, it was no different in the evening.

So sex tip #8 is to think about wearing no bra to church. And even if you don't do it, thinking about it will bring you closer to yourself and to God.

In dreams,
Tina

2-1/2 Sided Love Triangle of Christians Debating Adultery: Yes a Sex Tip!

2007-07-16T00:50:00.001-06:00

Well, I should thank Holly for the months of encouragement in actually writing something here. As we have several "post-it notes" of our brains tacked up on my bedroom mirror of things I'm supposed to write about, I'll get to them as I can.

It'll be a delight.

I must pace myself though. You understand. :)

One of the post-it notes is a response to Holly's post of my life last December and where it's gone. It's gone well. For what is the scope of well, I suppose.

But this post, my inaugural one [blast trumpets here!] is about a love triangle that is complicated, as all of them are, but this one is more complicated because of the role of Christianity in defining adultery. There are lessons that we all need to bear. But I'll get there at the end, I think.

I have a friend from university. She's called “Vicky” for the sake of our codes in the Blog. I like Vicky and I like her husband “John”. He's a fine man. We were all in a young adults group at school that was made up of mostly folks from one church but others gravitated in for dating purposes. And yes, Holly, dating and mating, a little of that was going on but not everyone knew about it. The squeaky clean ones [as I was, until later] assumed it didn't and never learned any truths.

So I have coffee with Vicky once in a while. She pays. It's a game. John makes a great deal of money in real estate and not that I don't [not in real estate, I'm a Commodore in the navy :) ], but Vicky wants to spend John's money far. It's only money.

So two weeks ago Vicky brings up a topic that shocked me incredibly. Having known Holly for some time and been quite close with her for months, I'm not shocked by bisexuality in my milieu. Even though Holly has invited me to Wreck Beach with her and asked if I'm bicurious about 8 million times, I'm not. But I love her dearly and am not bothered by her advances, which are [mostly] for play.

Vicky says she has moved through bicurious to bisexual. Shock. I was squeaky once. John doesn't know. Vicky has always liked me...in THAT way...all the way back to university. She still likes me now. I'm shocked. And more than a little flattered.

She tells me about her bi-experimental times at UBC and that they happened even when she dated John. I asked if she feels like she was cheating no him. Because they were girls, no. I don't agree with that. I can live with it though. I'm not in a place to judge.

So essentially she is propositioning me. I tell her about Holly and my sense of bisexuality now. I tell her my answer is not no, but probably no, but I need to think. And I need to talk to Holly.

So Holly and I talked somewhat on this. And the whole reason the answer was not immediately no is that I immediately thought this could be a way that I could have sex with her husband. I'm a bad person for this. And I'm not. Mostly I'm not. Sin, guilt, adultery, infidelity and all that are real. I am real too. So is Vicky And so is John.

The question that Holly says is yes, is would I allow myself to be sexually involved with Vicky [because I virtually completely have no interest in women's bodies, she'd have to do all the heavy lifting] if I can arrange it so that I get to have sex with John.

I end up agreeing with Holly.

I call Vicky last Tuesday. I say maybe, but I'm uncomfortable doing it without John's knowledge because of openness and because I like him and that if she can tell him [not necessarily everything about her bisexual past] about what she wants to do with me AND if he's ok with it AND if he is interested in having sex with me at all AND at the same time then I would do it.

I want margaritas though and I want it at their house and I want to sleep in the guest room if I feel like it.

Vicky is not totally shocked. John's a flirt and very huggy with me and lots of people, men too. I've also been known to be a little hip grindy when inebriated and he's received a few pelvic manoeuvres from me. She knows I think he's a great catch [and not for the money].

She says ok. She'll tell him. Maybe even everything, but at least her thing with me.

My skull temperature rose 19 degrees. Was I really going to let a woman make love to me, in the ways I can only imagine from the L Word and other things I've seen, so that I can sleep with her husband? What am I getting myself into. I was almost freaking out, but I was also rather excited about what if it could actually be.

Thursday night she calls and says she ended up telling him everything. All the way back. He told her about a time when he had sex with a former girlfriend [which she knew about] in university but that one time there was another guy there. John and his girlfriend gave him a hand job and John let him blow him since she was dying to see that and he felt a blowjob is a blowjob. He was mostly ok with it, but it helped watching his girlfriend masturbate watching them.

My temperature went back to that hot place listening to all this. In the end Vicky says they got so much closer about it all and were interested in going through with this thing with me. Vicky says she waited this long to tell me because now I am in a place past marriage and simple illusions [obviously their marriage is not a simple illusion] and that I have Barry and our arrangements [we have arrangements] and that never before did she think I was in a place to say yes.

And so here lies the 2.5 sided love triangle. I want John. John wants me. Vicky wants John. John wants Vicky. Vicky wants me...I will let Vicky have me so I can have John.

It is adultery. It is a sin. It is non-heterosexuality. Also a sin. There is guilt from the instigation of it all. But there is also truth [Holly owns the patent on that sometimes it seems] and honour and respect. And a recognition that we cannot live the pure life. Even the people who stay squeaky still are impure. Is there impurity holier than mine? No.

so two nights ago I drive to southeast Vancouver to their place. I dress in a sensible sleeved T with non-short shorts. Very sensible. John and Vicky are dressed the same. We have dinner, overcooked [they say, I don't know] salmon and strawberry blender margaritas. We get tipsy. We talk lots. We swim in the pool, with bathing suits.

Vicky is petite, but taller than me. Holly says I must be DETAILED in my descriptions. No one can be as detailed as her. I try.

She has tiny hips and maybe a c-cup on top. Light brown hair. In a one-piece bathing suit.

John is 5'9” not beach volleyball buff, but not flabby. A reasonable body-mass index. A nice smile that shows up even well on his real estate photocopied fliers. Soft hands. More than nice, a warm smile. Yes. Brown short hair, like all real estate agents I ever see.

In the pool they hug and kiss somewhat but aren't luridly evoking a mood of expectation of my involvement. It never lasts more than a few seconds. Once on the deck he picks her up and tosses her in. as she tries to hold on before plunking in, her torso twists and her bathing suit exposes a large amount of her boob under her arm. My only thought is that will become much more real for me soon...somehow.

Slippy clit, despite being in water. And the margaritas have removed virtually all of my apprehension.

We leave the pool and Vicky says we should shower the chlorine out of our suits and hair. They had just re-constituted the chemical mix a couple days earlier and the chlorine was likely higher than normal.

Ok.

We all go to their shower in the master bedroom. It's big enough for 3 with probably a $1000 shower head. It backs onto the tub where the “far” wall would be, which would fit at least two. We all go in and take turns rinsing our hair. John washes his and is looking at me as he does it. I move over and wipe suds from his chest and he smiles. His eyes are closed.

I know his cock is hard. My slippy clit is joined by pointy nipples which I thought wouldn't show because I wore my dark red one-piece, so while they may not have shown, like through my light blue bikini, they bumped through. There was still a large part of me trying to be modest. I know. Don't laugh.

When I was going to rinse my hair I washed it too. My hair is short. Not like Vicky's When I'm shampooing, John and Vicky sandwich me. John in front. Very nice cock pressing on my belly. Vicky puts her hands on my hips and presses onto my bum. John feels my breasts. I loved it. Fully.

When I rinse my hair John takes off his bathing suit and rubs his cock on me. Uncircumcised. Curious. Thicker than Barry's. Just as long. No hair beyond a bit of half centimeter stubble. I hold his cock to me and Vicky rubs my bum. Vicky takes off her bathing suit down to her waist and comes around me so John can play with her breasts with one of his hands. So amazing to watch this from right there. With his cock in my hand.

He turns me around and slides his cock between my legs, crouching down somewhat. Then after a minute or so he takes off my bathing suit and reaches around to press the head of his cock on my pussy and play with my nipples. Vicky backed up a bit in front of me and took off her bathing suit. Almost no pussycat hair. She starts to masturbate.

I like to watch her. I think it was mostly because I was feeling so amazingly sexual that watching her do anything would have been fine.

We get out of the shower to dry off before drinking half a jug of ice water. Vicky dries herself off while we watch as she will not let us have our towels. She then dries John and then me while I watch john leaning against the sink stroking his cock. Vicky isn't gropy. She rubs gently all over, except firmly on my breasts and bum. I like it too. Is it watching John I like while having my body dried by someone? What is my reaction to a woman rubbing me like this? There really was no answer in my mind then. Just the question. And it was annoying. So I concentrated on the cock over there.

We go into their bedroom. Near the bed John embraces me, hard cock on my belly and kisses me. Vicky lies on the bed. I stroke his cock. It throbs. I'm so wet by now.

We lie on the bed beside Vicky I'm on my back, Vicky sucks his cock and gets it really wet for me. He slides it in a bit at a time. After a short time I'm so happy. He pulls out and lies on his back and slides me onto him on top of him on my back. Vicky guides his cock back in me and he fills me up and cums really fast at this point.

And I lie back on him and feel him rubbing my pussycat. And his cock in me. And a minute or so goes by..and none of us are talking...and his cock softens and slides out but he's gliding his hand up his cock and onto my pussy hair, sliding his cum and my juice up onto me. And my eyes are closed enjoying his hands rubbing all the wet on me and after a while I realize there are three hands there. Then two, with one on my breast, pushing my nipple around. And I just keep my eyes closed because I'm so happy. Happy to have had sex with this man. Happy to have come close to cumming. Happy to be still on the way to cumming. Happy that I was being touched like this.

Then John's left hand slides under my bum. He squeezes it and moves his fingers around and near my ass. I'm still a bum virgin [eek, sodomy!], but I like a little touching there now. I like it. And he lifts my bum up and down once in a while too. His other hand is on my right breast. Just rubbing it so nice. Gliding down my belly to meet the two hands on my pussy, gliding cum all over my hair and rubbing my lips.

The rest is a blur that felt like hours. But it was of course not hours. A blur of time. But just distinct kind of tableaux of images. Like a strobe. Fingers in cum on my hair. Finger tips pressing labia. Clit moved back and forth. Finger in my vagina. Licking on my hair and labia and thighs. Tongue pressing on clit. Tongue in vagina. Hands pulling hips forward. Hand pushing bum up.

Orgasm. Rich one. Helped by a margarita. Helped by a swim. Helped by having just been fucked.

And as John said a blowjob is a blowjob from a woman or a man. And I felt so loved. And I felt so honoured through all the touching. And I felt so warm. And I opened my eyes a few times to see Vicky's hair in a pony tail behind her head and her face gliding over my pussycat and feeling her tongue on every bit of me there. And it was cool. A girl there. Totally new. Totally interesting. Totally not as much of a shock as even her initial question to me to do this.

Not that it was normal. But it felt amazing. Mostly because of what she was doing, not that she was a she.

And after I came, I opened my eyes and slid off and was just smiling and so were they. And Vicky rolled onto her back and John rolled between her legs and licked her and squeezed her bum until she cried and came. Not really weeping but a little like weeping. Tears of joy. Obviously. I've never wept when I came.

And then John brought us water and we drank. Then we slept. All on the bed. King size. And halfway to morning I woke up. They were gone. I got up. Walked around a little. Heard noises out back. In the pool. I went. They were swimming around in there naked. All the lights out except on in the bottom of the pool.

I went in. they came over to me and stood on either side and rubbed their hands all over my body. So nice.

We got out and dried off and went back upstairs.

On the bed John was moving up to rub his cock on her breasts, straddling her waist. She asked if I would suck him. He kneeled up and I crawled over to suck and it was very nice. And soon he lowered to glide his cock over Vicky's nipple and I stayed sucking as the tip slid up.

My chin touching Vicky's breast was very interesting. I liked it. And I realized that I wasn't scared. I didn't think I'd be actually “afraid” but at that moment I felt relief because in some quiet place I though I would feel fear about being this intimate with a woman's body.

And Vicky asked me to press her breasts together while he slid his cock between them. It was very nice. Like dough. :) So they say rightly. :) I know they feel like dough, but that's from the inside. To know that feeling with my hands was very curious.

When the friction got too tough, Vicky grabbed some lube and slathered his cock. When he came, he asked me to lick his cock off. Vicky put the cum from her chest on his cock and I licked it all up. I thought about licking it off her but didn't. Too much too soon. Though I really thought about it.

And then we slept again. The sky was starting to get light.

And when the sun was up, we woke up. Buzzing head a bit. Small price to pay for margaritas and their value in life. Inhibitions, etc.

Vicky started sucking John's cock. He asked if I wanted it again. Yes.

On my back he pulls me down so my hips are at the end of the bed and started licking me. So slippery. He slides in, while standing up. So much fun. Vicky asks if she can climb on top of me. Yes. In my mind, it's “whatever”! I'm in such a happy place.

So she straddles my hips and glides her breasts on mine. And up towards my face. Nipple on my cheeks, lips, chest, breast, nipple. Wild sensation.

Then John pulls out. I open my eyes and see him grabbing Vicky's bum and pulling her back to him. He puts it in her and fucks her while she's kneeling up over top of me. His hands all over her breasts. She lowers her bum down and widens her knees so her pussy is almost on mine. Then she stops moving and opens her eyes and I feel John's cock on my pussy again, finding its way in again.

Vicky's now basically lying on top of me, John's cock is in me and out and in etc.

And his hands are squeezing Vicky's bum. And then he's out of me again and into her and pumping hard and she's up on her hands and knees, breasts swinging all over. And he cums in her and she kneels up and grabs his cock at her pussy and rubs. So amazing to watch from this perspective.

And then he pulls it out still hard and lies on the bed rubbing its slickness. And his cum drips out of Vicky onto my pussycat and belly and she's down there licking again. John slides his cum up onto my breasts and she comes up and licks there too. Nipple sucking is so much fun. And feeling her breasts on my belly when she was sucking my nipples was very nice. A new experience in this life of many experiences, but still missing many more.

And she goes back down to finish liking my pussy hair and then she licks my clit for so long that after I came I had to make her stop. It was at that overwhelming place. Almost panic inducing. But not quite. Just close enough to be a riotous rush.

And we go down for breakfast. Bagels and juice and Fruit Loops out of the box. :)

And in the shower after breakfast John asks if he can fuck me doggy style before I go. Yes again.

I lean turn around and rub my bum on him and point to the wall to lean into it. Vicky comes over and slides him my way. She puts my hands on her hips and hold my shoulders and watches John fuck me. My face bumping her breasts. Eventually I just leave my face there. So soft and slick with water.

And the g-spot orgasm is so spectacular. John hold my hips, me holding Vicky's hips, her holding my shoulders...all that was necessary as my knees mostly buckled.

Such a nice 12 hour chunk of my life.

Vicky and I are on for coffee again this week. Wednesday.

She called this morning when I was in the shower [ironically], and left a message saying how much fun they had and how comfortable it was once we got over the early bits. But even those were fine. She wanted me to call to let her know whether anything was weird. I called back and we had a nice chat. Not completely casual but virtually there. Coffee will be good.

So much fun. So much.

So the sex tips. Because there should be sex tips even though Holly says it's not essential.

Lessons:
Christianity is a living thing. It's also not absolute. I want to believe it is, but I usually find times I want that to be times I'd desperate to cling to something to make the world certain. The world is not certain, even if the Bible is, or is believed to be, even by me sometimes.

Is it adultery if everyone consents? Strictly, I suppose so. In reality, I can't really see how. I get the argument, but to quote the wise Avril, that's “like, so whatever.” But really, it is more complex than that. Me and Saul knew a black and white morality marriage. It was, in the end, inadequate to sustain. Probably not because it was the black and white thing, probably because of who we two were. But still, two healthy people in black and white may work. But who is that couple?

I'm not close to love or a relationship or marriage. I'm not as jaded as Holly on love, or as impaired as her about delving into it. But I know where she is. I respect it in her and me and I wait. I wait for her too even though she is frustrated by it sometimes. I am too. Who wouldn't be?

Single Christian girls, even married, dating or engaged Christian girls need to follow my advice. Ready for it? Here it comes.

.............................................

I give you no advice. Except to say this as my final tip. Ask yourself how you feel about your box of the your definition of adultery. Ask yourself how you feel about what I did/do and how I relate it to sin, adultery, fidelity, guilt, purity. All that. Ask yourself if you are sure of where you stand. If you are, accept that and celebrate it. If you are not, ask why. Then find close people to talk to about the truth of what conflicts. And if you have no one close, email me or Holly. We're close even if strangers. It's ok. You aren't supposed to know it all. Especially if you are young. Like, under 60 years old. Or under 20 even. :)

In the end, I know grey. I live in it. If you think you don't, you are mistaken. If you don't want to be in the grey, you may be wasting your time. It cannot be black and white. Be easy with yourself. Not loose and easy [unless you like that kind of thing], but easy on yourself, I suppose. Be forgiving. Be honourable in your criticisms of yourself. And be loving. If you don't love yourself, warts and all, no one will. Jesus will. But that can sometimes feel not enough. It is, they say, but really...sometimes it feels like not enough. Let's be honest. Life's too short not to.

Hmmm. That felt good.

I will write more, Holly.

It took 3 different blocks of time to finish this, but it was good to go back through. And all this still doesn't mean you can get into my pants. So there. :)

You always say “in touch.” I need to find a tagline.

In the spirit? [gack]

In the groove? [yikes]

In wonder, [maybe]

In dreams. Yes.

In dreams,
Tina.

"I'm Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex"

2007-07-12T01:20:00.000-06:00

ok, so i joined facebook. i'm a cult member now. i'm also addicted. plenty of happiness there.

but i found this neat group. i'm in dozens of groups already, yay, but this one is cool:

"I'm Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex"

there's almost 30k people in it. that's lots in facebook i think.

but when i look at people in that group, like these cuties, i feel sad that they're not boinking. they DESERVE to be. but i do respect their choice to be celibate. but there's celibate and there's CELIBATE. like my earlier posts on my Catholic boy bud.

in the end, i like the awkward bit. it's the truth for many. it also reminds me of something i wrote in a previous blog entry:

if you listen to them, you may find yourself in your late 20s, engaged, then married, still a virgin, spending the first mannnnnnnny awkward months of your marriage learning how to be sexual with anything less than pitch black. my divorced Anglican cousin Julie endured this. bad news. more about her in a little while.

i recall that i've never told julie's story. that'll have to come soon.

in the end [the sequel], be abstinent or not. it's up to you. and if you stay a virgin, revel in it. cuz maybe no one else will. but respect your lines...what is too far and what is not. and enjoy being in them.

in touch,
holly

Sex Tip #7: Lessons in Self-Esteem from Pix on Flickr

2007-07-07T03:01:00.000-06:00

so a while ago i cruised through flickr because that's what we all do, right? :)

hot people.

and some great art shots too.

but i found something interesting when i was just looking at the beautiful people in the world.

looking at a bunch of the pix [not all of them, by any means] was really instructive because i saw something good about myself in each one.

narcissism r us, i know, but indulge me. :)

so let's just do a review of it all. and what is the sex tip? you're beautiful. if you look like me or them or the hotties you feel inferior to sometimes or whatever. you're beautiful. and you deserve pleasure and bliss. regardless of ANYTHING!

click on the pix to see them bigger.

boob sag. gravity. age. time. though smaller than the girl on the left, my boobs were perky and resistant to gravity when i was a teenager. not so much now. tv commercials encourage me to be ashamed of the little lines beside my eyes and how my body is starting to recognize gravity more. they are evil. i'm beautiful. i was when i was a teenager too. perky anti-gravity boobs are awesome, but not eternal. and that's ok. it's even great.

i was initially cynical about this pix. i thought it was a scan from GQ or Cosmo ad or something cuz they're all so cute. it may be. if so, ignore all this. but in their faces is a sense of belonging and love and acceptance and friendship. and while everyone drifts from at least some of their high school friends, this pix tells me that there are always people surrounding me even if in other cities, who are on my side, who are here to back me up and listen to me. that's pretty special.

this is just like above, tho no doubt about it being a staged magazine ad. :) bff is so trite these days, but it's authentic when you're in the moment.

boobs are fun. they are for playing. enjoy them. that's it! :)

i'm quite hippy. but not quite this waist-y. big hips are part of who we are. micro-petite is great for those who are like that. we're all built differently. embrace who you are. if it is different from someone else, fine. they're different from you too.

this pix is from a series of a bunch of shots of this girl. this is the most alluring one, i think. teasing a camera a bit is like teasing a lover a bit. LOTS of fun. and we ALL deserve to be in a sexy photo shoot.
we all deserve to lounge in a pool on the top of a hotel or something, really high in the sky. we need to RISE ABOVE the shit that keeps us down. truth.

so.

and as it is, while i'm writing this blog piece, i'm watching a webcam show by a woman in adultfriendfinder.com. she's got a great smile and warm eyes and is having fun exploring little bits of stripping and playing with her body. but the first thing i bet most people thought of when they first turned on her cam was that she's a bit chubby. a bit chubbier then me but SHE'S HOT. and her sense of herself is truly wonderful to watch. we are us first and how we appear second.

in touch,
holly

Fucking Catholic Boys [or not]: Sex Tip #6

2007-07-02T03:20:00.000-06:00

so "kevin" emails me.

outta the blue the other day.

this is kevin from a couple posts ago a couple months ago:
http://stcg.blogspot.com/2007/04/fucking-catholic-boys-who-have.html

you should read that post before reading this update.

i thought i'd summarize it for you. he said i could, but not to paste the whole thing in. i don't know why but ok. maybe he worships my writing style. :)

here goes...

so a week or so after he goes home from the conference he and Vittoria start fighting over little things. like who picks what movie they see. not the movie but who picks. [i'd have thought that no one would, but that doesn't matter at all.] they were all frosty and tempered with each other.

and she comes out and says what's wrong with him. and he's like what's wrong with you and she describes all the shit that he's been doing and when he goes to describe her shit, it's like nothing really all that big a deal and he says something happened at the conference with another girl. and they start talking about it.

and here's where i get to be a marital [type] counsellor. he actually shows her the blog piece. i TOTALLY didn't expect this, which is why i wrote it like i did.

and he tells her how he feels about her and that he's not looking for someone else, but different things from their relationship. and all through it she's a little shocked but good about listening to him. to me it sounds like she was a little shut down cuz i figured that if she ever read this blog she'd freak out. but maybe i don't know her. i don't. :) hi Vittoria, i assume you'll read this too. nice to meet you. :) sorta in the online virtual way.

i like enrique too.

anyway, kevin writes that there was parts of his brain that were allllllllllways keeping the back door open, that he wanted to just say fuck Vittoria, or more technically, forget about her and fuck me. woulda been nice i think. :) i'm glad i guessed that right.

anyway, he writes that showing Vittoria the blog was about letting her know important true things about him. actually he didn't show it, he read it to her. which i thought was amazing for him. wtg, kevin!

and then they start talking about sex and all the things they do. that's big of her, cuz i figured she would have killed him. and she says ya, she likes watching him cum when she gives him a hand job. and that she didn't remember when he says he saw most of her breast, but when he explained the time she did. does that mean she is too un-self-conscious about her body? i knew a girl in high school who totally said she wasn't hot but EVERY boy wanted her. not that she was coy, but she really believed she wasnt hot. wrong-o. maybe Vittoria isn't aware of people trying to see her breasts. :)

amateur psychoanalysis here. :)

so Vittoria says hand jobs have always been ok for her. but only cuz of the boy masterbation problem. i'd like to tell her about the girl problem some day. :)

and he says that when they get engaged he wants to do more things with her, sexually. and she's like well it sounds like you wanna do that now, before we get engaged. and he's like, yeah. :)

she said she was really surprised about the bathing suit thing that kevin looks at her pussy when she wears it. that's where i get my thing above about her not being aware of her desirability.

anyway i was mostly right again about it being a good thing that she knows he's looking at her pussy. she also felt a little pressured by knowing that in the past he was doing that. i can understand that, if the rules of the relationship were more celibate.

i must say, Vittoria, that my ass is special to me. i like it to be rubbed too. and when it gets rubbed, i get really turned on. and that's a good thing. i suspect you might get that too. justa guess. ya???

and when it comes to the double standard of handjobs for him, and bj's, but no access to her body, kevin said she understood the point. quite clearly. and she wasn't offended by it. whew. woulda been a problem if she was, i think.

there's the saving her body for marriage. check. there's the modest. check. but the modesty thing is just the tip of that iceberg. she says to him that despite having assertive rules about bodies and things, it's also to cover up that fact that she's done very little sexually and is just really nervous.

i was really happy to read that. truth.

and she's known about progression and wandering eyes and getting to make him cum will make him want more and if he doesn't get it, he may look elsewhere. turns out, me.

and she's wanted more too, but self-consciousness and a bit of fear plus the marriage, etc. stuff was in the way. totally understandable to me.

and masterbation. she doesn't do it. she's actually afraid to do it. i've heard that before. not afraid of anything rational. fear isn't always like that. it's fear that she'll be out of control of her body. that, i totally understand. i was there from 14-22 years old. i feel her pain there.

and she was really happy when she heard that he's imagining her naked. she assumed that, but it was so nice to hear it, she said. i bet! :)

and she said that it never occured to her to ask him to masterbate for her. and he says he would like to and she says she'd like that. a lot. :)

and instead of being totally mad at him and me for what we did in that motel room, she was moreso envious of me that he masterbated for me before her. sad a bit too, but she was very understanding, largely influenced i think by her wanting him to do it for her.

she also likes how i kinda stripped for him. and then they had a real long conversation. she did almost all the talking. about how she has so little experience with sexuality. dating in high school. no sex. no masterbation. lotsa kissing. bum feeling too. some boys hands between her legs at times when she was totally not comfortable with that. awkward! boys hands on her boobs, same response but to a lesser degree.

she liked how cocks felt rubbed up against her. especially her bum. i notice a trend here.

but she never felt a cock with her hand. one troublesome time, the most problematic of her sexual career, was when she was with her bf in grade 12 on a couch at his place and he was on top of her and finally got her to spread her legs and he was rubbing her pussy with his cock [not quite her words, according to kevin] and she was really liking it [duh], but then he came in his jeans. and her GUILT sledgehammer swung in. he was mostly cool with it and kinda laughed it off while going off to change. and she was outta there real soon after and the relationship fizzled.

i can see how this all builds up.

in the end she is made quite horny by hearing about all we did together/near each other in that hotel room. so some real good came from all that.

and hearing about how he came for me, she wanted it too. that's sweet. :)

he says when we were sleeping his hard cock on me was while he was asleep. nice. :)

and she was not upset about when i sucked him off. she was a little, but her world was kinda being spun in huge circles so in the big scheme of things it was no big deal compared to how he didnt fuck me. i can see that. tho i was sure she'd hate the bj.

and it wasn't catholic guilt that kept him from wanting to suck me. it was a desire to not go any further. sounds like guilt to me, but it could also just be a real conscious choice. which is cool. i can live with that. :)

so in the end, i had a good time that night. so did he. but it clearly bugged him enough to get in the way in his relationship. which is fine. life is full of inspiring moments that make or break people.

and while he didn't go into tons of detail, which is my job he says, he did explain a few things in his email about where his relationship has gone.

they didn't get engaged suddenly so they could do more. engagement is a different kind of thing he says. and they haven't fucked, but they did more their sexual relationship forward somewhat. yay kevin and Vittoria!

after the whole showing her the blog event, that night they pushed their limits. he masterbated for her and she loved it. she still wanted to touch or suck his cock, but she loved watching him make himself cum. and she talked about being wet watching it.

after he came he said she let him take off her top and bra and rub and stroke and kiss and lick her breasts. she really enjoyed it. i bet! a nice first for her in a good context too.

and over the weeks they've done the same kind of stuff as before. but now here boobs are in play. he has recently started tit-fucking her and she's gotten naked down to her everything but her panties which he is allowed to rub with his hands and cock, front and back. sounds like a great balance they've gotten to.

and she likes his cum on her. as most girls do i think.

and they aren't into masterbating her yet. but why rush things. i know that every day that goes by before she starts to have orgasms is a lost day, but more important is a healthy embrace of the whole orgasm experience.

so.

christian girls.

the sex tip? progress. advance. move forward. not fast, not slow, just at a good speed. do it with honesty. take conflict as a catalyst to improve things. look for ways to get more in touch with your body and the body of your lover.

and while you may have lines you don't cross, respect them, but give yourself permission to enjoy what you do do before you hit those lines.

nipples are meant to be exceedingly happy. if it falls within your line, find ways of making them so. and cocks are spectacular chunks of biology. pay attention to them and learn general rules about them and specific rules about them on specific boys

and remember, your body is for fun and for your well-thought-out plans for the future. keep the guilt down and the healthy respect up.

and in the end, if your relationship with your boy [or girl] is not as open and loving and supportive and exploratory as kevin and Vittoria, get it there, and then some.

it's worth the ride.

in touch,
holly

I sold my car...this isn't a sex tip :)

2007-06-30T13:14:00.001-06:00

ok, so i sold my car for a return flight from university back to vancouver for the summer.

one of my roomates bought it because he NEEDS it, and he does. i won't judge. but not me. i've enjoyed my cross-country trips from the left coast to school, but i'm done now.

hurricane katrina helped me decide. so did al gore's inconvenient truth. the inconvenient truth is that we shouldn't even have cars, i think. regardless of what fuel we put in them. hugo chavez, the prime minister of venezuela said you'd have to plan corn on every bit of land in the world to get enough ethanol to fuel all the cars we drive. then what would we eat!

so i sold my car and i'm going to live car free. i'm sure i can do it. hell, most people in the world do it. and vancouver has a great transit system, despite what the whiny idiots say about it being too slow and expensive. sure it costs money, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less then a car.

i mean i must have spent like $10,000 on my car in the 5 years i had it, that's $2000/year and a 3 zone bus pass in vancouver is like $130/month, which is way less then $2000/year.

and the time thing. people are stupid about time. STUPID, i say! it is not money. it is not your life. being on tranist lets me enjoy my time to relax. hell, i lost my watch at wreck beach 3 years ago and never replaced it. time is a variable. if you let it control your life, you are a loser. that's the truth.

so.

sell you car. :)

it feels great!

in touch,
holly

Fucking Catholic Boys who have Girlfriends

2007-04-30T03:52:00.000-06:00

I guess this makes me a homewrecker, but i care only to a certain extent.

i don't "get" catholicism. i'm protestant so i'm pre-disposed to not get it, but that's ok. i know i'm a bit ignorant so i don't judge much.

but i met a nice catholic boy at a conference/workshop i was at this weekend at my university. it was a grad student workshop that a friend of mine invited me to.

and even though i have my Ash, the boytoy of the year, i must admit to not really having had sex with pretty much any other guy in over six months, well actually going back to august in vancouver.

so i meet "Kevin" friday night and he's cute. good for him. he's from another university a few hours away. and he's presenting an essay during one of the saturday sessions. i go see him read his piece. he's cute. sue me. :)

i don't really get all he's talking about. i am a history major and it was a history conference, but his take on things was at times way over my head. but that's ok. i'm still learning. we all are.

so saturday night a bunch of us hit the pub. i drink. it's fun. and kevin's cute and a bit flirty but not too much, just sociably so i guess. and after a while we start chatting. all about his life growing up, 23, altar boy, cousin is a priest, gramma goes to church/mass like 4 times a week. interesting guy. and he's staying at the motel most of the out of towners are staying at. and i've had enough. i know i'd like to get it on with him. and this is cool cuz as i said, it's been a while since i've really cruised a boy. and i'm not shy about being horny. and i also know lotsa guys [especially "nice" guys] are a little shocked by my desire to fuck them. but that's ok. everyone's learning. :)

so i say, kevin, the number is 4. 4 what he says. i say 4 is the number of times i wanna make him cum in the next 10 hours [which is the start time of the sunday morning workshops back on campus]. and it's not too dark to see him blush a bit. and i ask if he's got a roomate in his motel room. and he's like, no, but he's got a girlfriend at home. Vittoria. Not Victoria. and for once in this blog that's her real name. it's too pretty to pseudonym her. and she'll never read this anyway, i'm certain.

and i'm like, ok. no sweat. what's she like. and he goes on and on and on and on about her. which is interesting. way more then just filing me in on her personality. so i listen. she sounds awesome. 1st generation canadian-italian. a mature 20 year old. folks own a deli at home. he met her there 2 years ago. she's taking a bookkeeping course and wants to run the deli when her folks retire to their [imaginary] Tuscany villa. she runs catechism classes for little kids. wants children, likes robbie williams a lot. and enrique iglasias. [good taste there].

and on and on. and that's cool. it's like he's saying hey, i really like this girl so here's everything about how awesome she is so you know that i'm really into her and so we can't do anything. and that's cool. but i'm keeping my back door open just in case "he doth protest too much." which is funny but who knows. right?

but beyond that he's a nice nice guy. and that's worth alot.

so we keep talking and we get onto religion. which is where i learn the catechism word [above]. and he tells me about catholicism from his point of view and i talk about crazy fucked up born again protestantism and reverent agnosticism and loving, gay-friendly churches i know and unitarians i've met in my life. good times.

and i then mention this blog. and he likes his beer and so do i. so we pick up a case of Alexander Keith off-sales and head back to his room so i can show him my blog. but that's all, he says! and i'm like, sure. no sweat. but in the back of my mind is the back door.

so we go back to his crappy motel room and he fires up the net and reads the first few posts of this blog. they start slow but get better.

he's modest but i know his boner is there. yay! my back door is unlocked. and i'm just lying on his bed sorta trying to keep it from spinning by drinking more beer and waiting for him to read enough to wanna chat about it.

and by the time he gets to the dorm room sexual politics post he starts talking about sex. he says he feels comfortable talking with me about things, which is true. :) i'm easy to talk to.

and he talks about how i'm pretty correct about lotsa the stuff in that post about boys liking to cum. and he says Vittoria knows that too and they're good young catholics so they haven't fucked, but he says she really likes to give him hand jobs. tons of fun for her, he says. and that's cool. good for her. and him too! she likes to watch his face as he squirts.

and he says he agrees with my post about how masterbation is banned in the bible and that's bunk because it really fucks up male-female relationships in society.

and the best part of the post he says, is the thing about girls inspiring guys when they're masterbating for us.

he says he has never seen Vittoria naked. not her boobs i ask? he says he saw most of them once. sun dress, too loose bra. not her nipples? no he says. but he feels them on his chest enough. his answers at this point are cute. honest, to the point, but short. and answered in a way that says, ok next question at the end. so i keep asking questions.

have you felt her boobs? nope. would you like to? yes. ah too bad. marriage, he says, we're engaged to be engaged he says and they can wait. then he says he wants to get more physical with her when they're actually engaged, but he's never brought it up with her. he just hopes it'll go that way. i tell him he should bring it up in a talk. ya gotta talk about these things.

more questions. so you haven't seen her pussy? no. tho he says he enjoys staring at it at her pool in her bathing suit. sunglasses keep her from seeing him just looooooooooking at it. i ask if he's sure she can't see, cuz girls often know alot more than guys think we do. and he blushes. and i'm like, hey, it's a goooood thing if she knows you are looking at her pussy.

so you haven't touched her pussy? no. her ass? yeah, he says she likes him to rub it.

so the 64 million dollar question: how do you live with the double standard. huh? she gives you handjobs, sees your cock, feels it, strokes it and makes it cum, but you don't have the same access to her. he dodges the question by adding that she sucks it too sometimes. ok, nice. do you cum in her mouth? no, she doesn't want to do that. so you have to warn her when yer gonna cum? yeah. dyou ever miss the warning? once. not good. she didn't suck it again for a long time after that. just hand jobs.

so i go back to the big question. he's like, well she's really modest about her body and wants to save it for marriage for me. and he says he can respect that and cuz he does, he doesn't wanna push that. even though you'd like to see her naked? yeah. and play with her body? yeah. and fuck her? yeah.

i see. then he says that she understands that boys like to cum. smart girl. so she knows that she should help him do that. that'll keep his eye from wandering, she says. i say, yeah, but once she goes down that road with you, it tends to want to progress and not progressing could lead to wandering eye. he kinda nods at that one.

so does she masterbate? he doesn't know. what? he says they never talk about it, like masterbating is a guy thing. IT'S NOT. i don't actually yell it, but i'm emphatic. totally. that might be a problem. i hope she does, but it sounds like she might not. he says he also thinks she might not.

so i say the thing you liked in my blog post is that i think it's a good idea for girls to strip a bit and rub themselves when boys are masterbating for us? yeah. and she doesn't do that for you? no. but that's ok, cuz he can sure get off without that, mostly cuz he's imagining her naked.

yes. i see. [at this point i feel like a total therapist]

so i say i see your problem. what problem, he asks. :)

and i believe him that he didn't know what his problem was. too cute.

so i say total matter of fact, dyou think i'm attractive? yes. ok, if you were single would you go out on a date with me? yes. would you kiss me if it came up? yes. and if we got all nasty would you go for me? yes, but he's trying to stay celibate until he gets married. ah.

so yer a virgin? well, no. he had sex several times with a 2 girls in high school. [another person who got to enjoy sex in high school, unlike me. grrr.] were you any good? he says he thinks so. did you enjoy it? ya totally, except for feeling bad about it afterwards.

it seems the second girl he had sex with is the one he had most of the sex with. when they broke up, she broke it off. catholic guilt. she didn't blame him or anything, she blamed herself [and in part him] but she could have said no. but he REALLY blamed himself. and he's been celibate for years now. wow.

so i say, when you're with Vittoria and you cum, is she always the one who makes you cum, or do you masterbate for her? and he says its just the handjobs and sucking. does she ever ask you to masterbate for her? no. dyou ever ask if she wants to see it? no. well, you should. :) i know, he says. but you masterbate on your own, though, right? yeah, for sure. and what do you think of? her, us, sometimes other girls.

so, i say. i understand that you don't want to fuck me, even if you wanted to...nice pause from him there...[back door]...but dyou want to masterbate for me? yes, i think i would, he says. ok. would you like me to inspire you? yes, he says. and then would you like to watch me masterbate? yes. then i say, i'd go first, but then you'd probly cum before i'm done and where's the fun in that. yeah, he says.

so i move to the foot of the bed and he sits at the head, leaning against the wall and he opens his pants and pulls it out. nice cock. about 5 inches long, kinda thin, but well-loved. i can tell. and after a few seconds he looks at me. so i open my top and let him see my bra and i run my finger along my boobs and over my belly and thighs.

after a few minutes, he slides out of his pants and boxers and keeps going, more intently now. so now i start rubbing on my pussy over my jeans. and i take off my top and bra completely. and push my boob with my upper right arm. and presto, he cums. just beautiful! a bunch up his arm, lots on his shirt. some on his thigh. and a really rich moan. and a smile. wow, he says, i like your boobs. thanks, i say! me too, as do millions!

i hop into the bathroom to get a hand towel for him. dyou want me to? he says no, he'll do it. :)

so we crack a couple more beers and i say you should tell Vittoria you want to masterbate for her. yes, i should, he says. and you dont' even have to ask her to do anything for you. she just might no matter what. then you react based on what happens. yeah, he says.

so he's quiet, so i say, my turn? he nods and smiles.

so he gets my ass-play moves. i hop onto the floor and face away from him and start rubbing my ass, then moving my hands into my pants to continue. i open my jeans and zip down then slide them down, and keep rubbing my bum for him. and he's already starting to get hard again, about half way back to total boner.

so i pull up my panties and rub my cheeks. then i spread my legs and bend over to rub my crotch. you like, i say? yes, he says, with a scratchy voice.

so off go my panties and i rub my bum while showing him my ass and pussy. i'm quite wet now.

i climb on the bed and tell him we need to trade places. he sits at the foot as i lean against the wall and spread my legs for him. have you ever licked a pussy? no. ah, too bad...[maybe at some point to night he will].

i pour some beer on my nipples and slide it around, then lick it up. then i just go for my clit and start working it. after several seconds, i see he's hard again and i stop my clit [masochist me i guess] and open my labia and slide a finger inside for a while. i see he starts rubbing his cock again. very nice.

then when my masochism kills me i go back to my clit and go until i cum. tons of fun. truly.

and during this i stopped watching him. he may have cum again, but i doubt it. he sure rubbed tho.

and by this time, we're both quite wiped and drunk and i suggest we crash. we end up sharing the bed. i wear my panties and top and him in his shorts. all innocent [to a degree i guess]. :)

we set a wakeup call early enough for me to head home for new clothes before going back to campus. then we snooze.

twice i woke up. once, i felt his hard cock on my ass. i'm "sure" he was asleep, but if not, i'm cool with it. the other time i wake up, its his hand lying on the bed but beside my bum. totally innocent there. but i tell ya, i wouldn't have minded waking up and a cock in my hand and a request to slide it in me. i'd take it.

and in the morning when the fone rings, i hit the bathroom and come back to see if he wants to shower with me. no touching if you want, just masterbating. he says sure. :)

once in the tub, i start with my boobs and can see he's gonna need to go first. so i don't think i'm gonna get to fuck him, so i say, hey, would you like me to suck you off? i don't mind if you cum in my mouth. and in mid rub he's like, yes ok please. so i kneel down and it doesn't take long with his morning wood. he has a gentle, but powerful cock. i'm no deep throat sucker, so when he cums he tries to ram his cock down my throat. after a bit of almost gagging, i hold him back well enough to tease out his cum.

he is just amazed at watching me swallow it. a real turn on for him. so sweet.

so then i sit down in the tub and get him to point the crappy 99 cent shower head onto my pussy. the water's nice but far from strong enough to make me cum, so i get to rubbing. after a few minutes, i ask if he'd like to learn how to suck me. i was sure he'd say yes. but he doesn't. he says that would be too much. i can see some catholic guilt starting to creep ont his face. [or what i think is catholic guilt]

so on my own i have a nice, pleasant looooooooooong ten minute rubbing time before cumming. dyou like watching me cum? yes, he says. well, your homework is to make sure you get to a place with Vittoria, however long it takes, when you can watch her make herself cum. it's an amazing gift to share. ok? yes, very good idea.

and the rest of our time that morning was quite cordial and not to deep. eventually i went home to change. we saw each other sunday a couple times and sat together for lunch at a table with some saturday night buds.

and when he got into his car to head back home, i said to keep in touch if he wants, however platonically he wants. and if he doesn't want to, that's totally cool too, but i hoped he would. and then i asked if i could put our night onto my blog. expecting hesitancy, he said yes. i was a little surprised, but quite happy.

hi "kevin"! thanks for this. i wish you well in your relationship. you deserve great happiness. and from what it sounds like, so does Vittoria. be well and keep in touch [if you want!]

Adultery R Us

2007-04-08T05:16:00.000-06:00

Ok, so adultery is a sin. I get it. The ten commandments are "carved in stone" and all that, but we need to get over a few things.

One. People's lives are flux. Marriages come and go. We can pretend this is not happening but that just makes us blind and stupid. Good things are people who need to split, to split.

That said, it's time for a confession. I slept with a married man once. OK, three times, but it was one affair. This all comes up cuz a bud on myspace filled out a survey. one of the questions was about what she'd do if a married guy approached her. she said she'd tell him to buzz off, etc.

That's cool. To each their own, eh.

So contextually, all adultery is wrong? It's not perfect, i'll grant that. but i'll also say in a context it can be healthy. let me explain.

So i knew this guy a few years ago. Me=early twenties, him late twenties. He was already married like 5 or 6 years. His wife was no good. Well, that's easy for me to say. But she wasn't. I like sarcasm, but when it's mixed with condescension and judgement, it's just ugly.

She was one of the church ladies at one mostly lame church i attended. and she wasn't 62 years old and bitter, she was the new generation of church lady bitches for whom everyone has something flawed about them. The salt stain on the bottom of my skirt was one day that winter an unfortunate thing i let happen on the way to church, she said. i could not believe she said that out loud. I'm like, what is her concern, that i've ruined my skirt? Dishonoured Jesus? Offended the clean people? i couldn't get it. in the end, i just figured her for a bitch. she stood around after church eyeing everyone, waiting to see if something needs fixing. and when she helped out, it wasn't cuz you needed it, but because she needed to fix you. wow. i'm still angry about her.

But the funny thing is that i didn't know she was Phil's wife. "Phil" was in a christian club at UBC with me, which is where i saw him most compared to only sometimes at this church. he was one of the less hyper-evangelical ones in the club at UBC. he was more relaxed. he was also a bit of a flirt. and that was good. i had come out of my uptight virgin place. i still hadn't gotten into my bi-is-so-much-fun phase and i was freshly single after leaving a mostly loser guy. this was the guy who felt it would be a good sign of my love for him to let him fuck me up against the window of my dorm room. not that there's anything wrong with that, except for how that worked in our dynamic. i just checked the rest of my blog. i never wrote about him. there's something else for the list.

anyway, phil was a flirt and i liked him. his wife wasn't into the christian club. she didn't go to school. she was a dental assistant. she wasn't "gifted" in evangelism she said. that was so true. she was gifted in offending people. but as i said i didn't know she was his wife.

anyway, the Ridge bowling lanes in Vancouver are lotsa fun. there's a quiet side there with a just a few lanes that can be rented out nicely by a big enough but small group. our club went there on and off. and one night after the bowling, Phil and I just kept talking. We ended up at Benny's bagels chatting til midnight or so and in that time, he had pretty much described who he is and why his wife is not good for him and vice versa. and i totally believed him. and not just cuz i thought he was cute. and i've never had cause to disagree with my judgement that night.

so we went back to my dorm room and fucked. it was really nice. and very juicy, the good kind. and he went home and met me again after church the next day while his wife and her gaggle of grim gals went for lunch. we fucked some more and then the next sunday too.

and all the time, i was like, you are a great guy, why is your life so fucked up that you are sneaking around with me. and i told him this. and i said, i'm glad to fuck him to get him to see what kind of life he's in and what kind of life he should consider: the not being married kind. and not so he could be with me, because he was so damaged, but some people need to be PUSHED to make a decision. and he totally put me into his life so that i could push him. that's what i thought anyway. and i think i was right.

and as the school year was ending and i had drifted out of that club, i ran into him at the student union building. he still had a wedding ring and i pointed that out. he said he and his wife went to Keats Camp for a marriage encounter thing a few weeks after our affair. he didn't say if he told her about me and i didn't ask. and one off-hand remark about her at the end of our conversation about something she said at the church made me put 2+2=why the fuck did he ever marry her: it was something about jesus being a kind of orange blossom. she said it one sunday night when she was the MC hosting a night welcoming a missionary to the church. i was there. i heard it. i knew THAT ghoulish woman. and it turns out that when he said something like "that night when my wife was talking about jesus as the orange blossom..." it also occured to me that he thought that i had known all along who his wife was. i wish i did. i would have put even more effort into fucking him.

at any rate. that was him. sounds like he tried to get his marriage to work. i hope he eventually told her about his affair. and if not fine. i did find out the next year through the hushed scandal whispers of some girls from the UBC club i bumped into that he had gotten a divorce. they said it in the context of how it hampered his evangelical credibility. i fucking bet it did. :)

so i'm glad at least he got out of that deal.

so. adultery. not that i think it's all that awesome all the time. but it can certainly be the kind of flick to the head that people need to inspire them to look honestly at themselves and say wtf.

so he said wft. and i think i had a good part of that. yay me. and in the end if you are still 100% against adultery, i'd just like to say that there is black and white and grey and all the other colours of the rainbow. if you still think there is just black and white, i wanna say, why do you own a colour tv. get a grip.

in touch,
holly

Sex Tip #4: Divorced Christian Fuck Buddies

2007-01-06T02:48:00.000-07:00

Divorced Christian Fuck-Buddies

So after a whole semester away from the blog, here's something new. Yes, I'm still alive. And kicking! :)

So I had a nice email back from a friend/acquaintance over the Christmas holiday. I sent out an email with some recent festive pix and a big hello. I haven't done one of these for years so it was fun. I even sent it to people whose emails I haven't seen traffic on for a while too. That also was fun.

So a woman I knew in Vancouver a few years ago--I'll call her "Tina"--replied with some nice comments and her new phone number. So I skyped her and we had a few long chats, mostly about relationships and Christianity, my obsession. And she's cool with this all being in here. Way to go, Tina, since that's not your real name!

I knew Tina at a hopping Pentecostal church I went to sometimes when I first lived there. It had a nice sound and a moving feel for young people, even though there were lots of older people there too. Anyways I got along well with several young people though I didn't stay there long. Tina was a lot like me, though a couple years older. She was real short and transformed it well socially making herself a kind of centre of things. She was happy to hear that when I told her that on the phone; it's true though. And being like she was, made others [like me] feel comfortable and included: included isn't something that's always a feeling at a new church. Too bad. Anyways, she is short like me and has short red hair and a body quite a bit like mine. Long lost sisters maybe :)

Tina was fun. We chatted in the lobby a few times and sat together at a couple after church restaurant visits when I met her husband "Saul" who played acoustic guitar in the church worship team; he was a real tree-hugging artsie flake--I liked his style. In the end I made it to one of their parties too; a good bit of fun if really mellow.

So it turns out that since I saw Tina last, she had gotten a divorce. Her man had a lead on a good job with a touring evangelical team. She didn't want him to take it because it meant I think 5 months away from him unless she broke the bank and met him half way through in Winnipeg or something. He went. They spoke on the phone.

By the time he came home, he said he wasn't sure they were meant to be together, for all sorts of reasons which all sounded quite minor and like excuses. That's fine I figured because whatever it is it sounded like he didn't want to be with her. She said it took her about a year of being separated to get to a place where she accepted that about him too and she gave him a divorce. She got their 1992 Civic and half of their $2800 in savings and called it a day.

And at that church was another couple. "Barry" and "Annie". I never met Barry, but I knew Annie. She was out at some of the lunches I went to. She is basically Andie MacDowell except with red hair; notice the pattern. A total long-legged babe and sweeeeeet as you can imagine. Total heart of gold.

Anyway, in early December, Tina gets a call from Barry. They've gotten divorced. He asks her to go get a coffee to catch up. They hit a 'bucks and spend like 3 hours getting to know what killed each of their marriages. Barry's story was way better then Tina's. Not that I'm comparing, but I am. His story is that while she liked sex, she was virtually totally against anything "strange". Even things like blindfolding or bondage. That wasn't the total thing but it reflected a thing where she was totally into living a straight and really really really narrow life without any real variation or expanding of herself. She was done, complete, crafted by God and in His groove. And I can understand how she'd feel that, but at the same time, I wouldn't be able to live with a person like that. Not that they're boring, but they'd bore me. :)

And Barry said that in the year and a half that they'd been apart, he had gone to Wreck Beach a few times and liked it: the freedom of nudity. Hear hear! And he rented some racy movies [tho he said porn was boring to him] and enjoyed sex within art. And he had had short, like 1-2 week, relationships with girls and even had sex with them. Not THAT big a deal for me, but a big one for him. But he found it satisfying, but didn't keep up with those girls because they had things that annoyed him. But he said he has since gotten over being bugged by petty things.

Anyway, their coffee was good fun and they clicked and caught the Bond movie at a matinee a couple saturdays ago and then he calls her up to go watch a hockey game, one of the Calgary games [I think Vancouver played Calgary like 4 times in the last couple weeks] at Jeremiah's on 4th and Alma [or Lama, if you're cool]. That's a really good place to watch hockey, especially if you can get a good seat upstairs. Great martinis too.

So by the third period they're a little gooned and thinking about dessert. I can't remember if the desserts there are any good, but Tina goes "I have some Boston cream pie at home that needs to be eaten or tossed soon." And she invites him back for a snack. He says yeah and she goes "and there's other things for you there if you'd like." And he goes "what kinda things" and she goes with a martini grin "what would you like?" and he's like "quite a bit." So she says "like what?" and he goes "I'll tell ya but you gotta pay the price first." And the price he says is that she can't be wearing panties if she wants to hear it. And the martini blush, she says, multiplies by 2 and she's off to the can to remove her panties. She was wearing a long yoga skirt for the global warming deep freeze that seems to have grabbed BC this year. And she goes back to the table, and lets him look in her purse to see the delightful garment.

I must say I was pretty impressed when Tina was telling me this stuff. Not that Pentecostals can't be randy, but wow, they can do it well.

So she goes "Well?" And then the dirty talk starts. Yay! He's like well I'd love to have some cake, I'm sure it will taste good, but I'd also like to taste your nipples and your pussy and suck your magic button and taste your creamy insides and make you cum and then fill you with my cock so I can fill you with my cream. That kinda thing. I didn't take notes on the phone conversation but it covered that. :) And of course Tina's a fan of all this, she says, having been totally celibate since before Saul went on the road. Though she did admit to some shower solo sex, but it's just not the same thing, now is it!

And so they go home to Tina's place. In a cab cuz Tina's gooned and won't drive and Barry's gooned and finally sold his Lexus [I won't judge him for that, owning one in the first place] before Christmas way too long after his divorce required him too [oops] so he didn't have a car anyway. Whatever. Anyway, they go home and had a good time.

I love girl talk. And whoever says girls don't kiss and tell has been lied to or is hanging around the wrong girls.

The cab ride home [like 5 minutes] was good for Tina. Barry sat in the middle and was rubbing her thigh nicely, with the occassional roam up to her hip to enjoy the lack of a panty strap.

They get to her tiny apartment near Jericho that I had been in that one time and she's in the total tiny kitchen that fits like 6 adults standing. Too small to swing a cat. Totally. She's got the pie out of the fridge and is going about cutting it up and he glides up behind her and starts rubbing her shoulders. She goes mmm and he rubs his cock on her bum and with one hand on her back between her shoulder blades, rubbing, he pulls her what seems now a realllllly long yoga skirt up so he can rub her bum. And Tina's thinking like, are we gonna make love here, right now? yes yes yes she was saying in her head but it turns out no. He rubs her bum, slides his cock on it [he's still clothed], then reaches around to feel just how wet she is. Slippy clit she called it. And then he went to town on her finger fucking her. And when she was close to cumming he turned her around and sucked her the rest of the way. NICE guy i tell ya. Good for him.

And then they had pie and red wine. Too cool.

And after a while of hanging out and talking about the new Bond and the hockey game and not having STDs and how she's in the ok part of her cycle to not worry about birth control, they hit her bed. Hard. Naked in a flash she sucks him off and doesn't swallow; I won't judge her for that. :) But she told me a neat story about this. Mostly when she was sucking him, she was thinking of her ex-husband who didn't want her to take his cum in her mouth, but to pull off when he said he was cumming. She always did and always wondered about not doing that. She also said he had a thing about masterbating in the shower with her where he got off watching her play with her nipples and when he came, he would cum on her belly and try to get it up to her nipples so she could rub it on her nipples. That sounds pretty nice to me.

Anyway, Tina enjoyed blowing Barry and she let his cum spill out of her mouth and onto her breasts, which she liked, as it was familiar. And after more playing around he asks if she'd like to be tied up and fucked. And surprising herself a bit she says yeah and with her scarfs he ties her hands together and each foot to the legs under her box spring cuz she has no head board or foot board. And he puts a pillow under her bum to prop up her pussy and he eats her out. And after she cums [she said she bit her lip when she did, nice blood taste], he slides inside her and fucks her. A thin cock, but long enough to get her high up in that happy place. And with her hands tied she is still able to play with herself and touch him. A nice time for her first time in bondage.

And after he came, he wouldn't untie her. She asked but he said no. She didn't pull out their safe word [Iginla!] but she asked why and he said he wanted to play some more. And he sat her up and got under her and let her slide her pussy over his cock and they just played together and hugged and touched each other for a while.

They had a really good time. And she talked with me about how much she liked him and how much she enjoyed playing with him and vice versa. But at the same time she wasn't really in a place where she wanted anything serious and she didn't want this to be a one night thing. So they've gotten together a few times since then to play and explore fantasies and stuff. One was fascinating for her, and I can relate because it deals with the sodomy taboo. The morning after their first night, he asks if he can fuck her from behind. She's never done that [yikes! tragic!] and says yeah but not in her bum. He goes ok, but then starts asking her about her bum and saying he thinks she'd like it and really wants it and she keeps saying no, not in the bum and he's like ok, but continues going on and on about doing her bum. She said she never got to a place where she thought he'd actually do it, but she really liked how he kept talking about doing it, all while she got on all fours and he slid in her from behind. Just the idea that he might pull out and try to put it in her bum was a huge thrill for her. And it turns out he's never done it either [and would probably do a bad job at it]. And when he came, he pulled out and came in between her cheeks and did a good job of rubbing his cock in there. THAT felt good she said. So she thinks she may do some bum play in the future.

And I told her what I thought of it all. I was happy she was enjoying sex again, beyond just by herself. And I told her that Barry sounds like a pretty swell guy. And I said that if she doesn't feel like a relationship, that fuck buddies or friends with benefits can work. And she hadn't heard those terms before. And she agreed with that concept and that ideally she'd be married, but she wasn't at a place for that now. And less than ideally, she'd be in a relationship with someone she loves. But that's still too serious for her. But short of that, she agreed with how I describe fuck buddies, that sex with someone you like and respect and likes and respects you can be a positive, healthy thing. With or without the bum being penetrated. :)

So I learned something new about divorced Christians and their more pragmatic way of living. I wonder if it's kinda related to having been...not jaded...but affected by imperfection in life. That with Christians we are always shooting for the ideal, which is good I think, but that the reality is that we don't hit it. And healthy fun sex may then have its place in our lives whether we're married or not. Divorced or not.

Comments? I'm sure some of you will have some.

In touch,
holly

A Banner? Yes!

2006-08-09T15:19:00.000-06:00

ok. so i made a blog banner. i'm such a great graphic artist. but this thing took like 15 minutes. lame. but i have other skills and assets! :)

what dya think? can it be more basic? "can i make it anymore obvious?" [avril]

MySpace.com, New Friends, and Girls and Guys

2006-08-07T16:39:00.000-06:00

well, i finally got into this myspace.com thing. i set up my account: http://myspace.com/KayakPaddle. come check me out. :)

i made a new friend. well, 6 in the first 12 hours. one guy was a musician with 33k friends. i deleted him. i think i was just an entry in his mailing list.

another guy said he hopes one of my sex tips is to be married before having sex. i hope he swings by this blog to see how my mind works. even if he disagrees with me, he should get to know how i think.

the new friend whose blog is VERY interesting is here: http://www.myspace.com/captain_n_cherry.

on her blog is a thing from a year ago i'm stealing and commenting on below.

there are many sex tips hiding in here. enjoy!

in touch,
holly

50 things girls wish guys knew

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.

- actually, i'm cool with that. i might think they're hot too.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

- or tape what we're watching so we can pause it and talk. talking's important. but not when it creates stress.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

- ya, tho i'd do it for me anyways.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

- ya

5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

- except when i want to fuck. but ya.

6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

- i'm not so on with that. licking my pussy is fantastic, but i almost [almost, ok] always like to suck cock.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

- ya, absolutely.

8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

- ya, though, you can expect me to call to say goodbye. unless yer a dick, then your joints will already be aching.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

- ya. truth.

10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

- well for some it does, not me tho.

11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

- totally. except i won't shave for anyone. i'll trim though.

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

- unless you want you to fuck me hard and fast. and if we need lube, fine.

13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

- ya

14. Eye contact is key.

- ya

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

- ya, though i'm not all that high maintenance.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

- but i'm ok if you tell me it's a groaner.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

- ya, you'll get it from me.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

- ya

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

- ya. mine are. i don't want to reward bad behaviour.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

- ya :)

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

- ya. truth!

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

- ya

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!

- well, i do. thanks, though. :)

24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.

- ya, but apologies are ok.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.

- ya, i kinda like that. i think it works with my feminism too. i'd open your door if i'm driving. if you've had a girl do that for you, you know how cool it feels. :)

26. We love surprises!

- ya ya ya ya ya ya!!!

27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

- ya, almost all the time.

28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

- ya

29. Boxers and boxer briefs . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

- ya

30. Clean your room before we come over.

- ya COMPLETELY

31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.

- ya, you'd think this would be obvious...but it's not.

32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

- ya, if you're no good sucking me, you'll know right away.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

- ya, unless you're violent, then i'll break your elbow.

34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.

- ya

35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.

- ya

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

- ya ALWAYS actually with me.

37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.

- ya, absolutely.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.

- ya, except when i wanna watch myself. then i keep the tapes.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

- ya, there's a limit for sure.

40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

- ya, if they get in the picture i will mock you and them until you cry. endings are endings.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

- ya, but then i don't date/fuck stupid guys so that won't happen, right?

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

- ya

43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.

- ya, except there are no fat chicks.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

- ya, but it works better to use our words...when we can.

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

- ya

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

- ya :)

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

- ya

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

- ya

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.

- ya, unless you think i'm a moron, in which case you will regret it.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you

- well, except for really intimate things. there's value in sharing a few things that are ours.

Sex Tip #3: Talk to Jewish Girls

2006-08-05T22:51:00.000-06:00

i can't believe its been months since a formal sex tip showed up. SORRY! i've meant to do more, but life as life took over. the 3rd tip comes soon.

a bunch of things to catch up to today though. i like michelle branch, the singer. she sings well with santana. she should be his lead singer permanent.

the girl at Maiwa at the net loft. i cruised back, TWICE to see if she's there. outta luck. i'll try more. i am too shy to even talk to her, i just wanna see her again. she's amazing to look at.

me and sanna went to sandbar thursday, the day after her "21st" birthday. it turns out sanna is a bit of a liar. she just turned 19. that made her 18 at sunshine valley. she acts alot older than she is. obviously. i found out more why. she was an only child until she was about 10. her folks lived in southern Sudan, the Christian part she says. i don't know much about African Christian geography, though.

anyway, Sudan is not a wonderful place for Christians. they spent some time in Kenya once they got out, then Marseille, a place she was always scared in at her young age then. her folks eventually settled in Oshawa of all places before they moved out to the coast where her dad's in chemical engineering. whew. anyway it was tough moving and running around. sanna grew up fast i guess and acts with a self-assureness that bud and his bro don't even have. but that's no sweat.

but i think she's still missing some youthful vitality because life's been more serious for her then for most Canadians. and what she's not really experienced she just doesn't talk about. that lets her appear more mature than other girls her age. not that she's not that mature, but she needs to party more. :)

anyway, that was thursday. sandbar was a blast and we got goodly loaded and came home.

what's home. ok offtopic here but tough shit.

i'm housesitting for a couple of late 40s yaletown garried guppies. huh? i was too hungover to goto the dyke march today, but char did. she told me someone there told her about being garried. gay+married=garried. pretty cool. guppies=gay yuppies.

my uncle pete knows these guys. one of their sisters is an actor in town. you can imdb her, which is very very cool. but it's all the shit films and shows they show here, not even x-files which she hated anyway. anyway uncle pete's in town and is spending time with this woman, "sara". and her bro and his husband and in new zealand for august doing some gay thing and she's housesitting, but pete's taken her to tofino to kayak up into some rainforest. and thus we're housesitting. me and sanna.

i've been here since wednesday. sanna came over to crash thursday night and is still here.

uncle pete needs a mention. i love uncle pete. he's the only sane member of my family. my dad's an asshole and far far far far away, my mom's a recovering doormat, my sister was awesome, she's gone though. i miss her alot. uncle pete is my mom's only brother. he still lives in the 80s. he had a mullet until last year [it worked for him though] when he went all Bronsky Beat. i'm still trying to figure out what that means. i know it was an 80s British band that i think was gay. but i don't get the hair reference yet. anyway, pete's hair is now a cm long. he looks good. he always looks good. :)

anyway, about 10 years ago when my "family" was still together [in its very broken way] pete spent a summer with us. my dad was in and out of town on "business" [his ho in Prince George] and i got to get a sense of who my mom was before she conceived me, married the sperm donor and started becoming what is a mild tragedy. she sounded cool. pete is cool, though. since the mid 90s, i've been caring for his LP collection. i like 80s music. his 45s from the 70s are pretty special too.

my email address includes sunmoonwindrain which is from a Tears for Fears song from my second favorite of their albums, Seeds of Love. my fave is The Hurting, especially Suffer the Children, for obvious reasons.

pete emails sometimes and tells me lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng stories about what he's doing. his material possessions [aside from his albums] fit in a car's trunk. he travels around the USA singing, busking, picking up short term bike courier stuff with a company with offices in tons of cities. and he writes songs, hits Burning Man [i have to go], and generally marches in anti-war rallies and sleeps on couches of US military deserters homes who are themselves living under the radar a bit.

sometimes i'm on msn and pete will ding me and we'll talk for hours. sometimes he sends things to me in the mail that i know are from him. an In and Out burger tshirt from Arizona. a beer mug from a bar in New Orleans that i fear isn't there anymore. with that one he sent a pix of him on a hotel balcony during Mardi Gras. 4 bottomless women holding their shirts up to show their tits stood all around him. 2 of them had gooned expressions. good times. :) and another pix of him in a glass hotel elevator with a woman in a tight dancing dress peeling it down to show her tits. in the glass you can see a bit of a reflection of another hottie taking the pix. pete lives well.

also, some mint from Georgia. and a Fenway Park pennant from Boston. that kinda stuff.

anyway, he's my grounding some times. moving out from home outside Penticton into Penticton, then moving to UBC, then leaving UBC, then finding a good place to continue school. he kept up solid in all those times. he wasn't around when my family fell to real shit, but he couldn't of done anything then anyway. but whatever.

ok. i've just read all this. i was gonna cut it all except the start, but sanna said no. she read my last post and this one and says i should keep it all. wtf. :)

ok. so the garried guppies.

i meet the sister [in imdb, the first i've met] on wednesday when i pack my shit in here. she's lovely. i'm pretty sure i saw her in Bard on the Beach a few years ago, but i don't recall which year i was there and [blush] which actual play i saw. whoops. anyway, "sara" is sweet and she and pete are goooood friends, but they're very free people who remain commited to loving relationships. for pete it's 3 or 4 women including sara around the continent. i can understand that.

i also have one of pete's March for Jesus shirts from along time ago. i haven't looked at it lately, but pete was into that for a while. i told him about reverent agnosticism and showed him my blog in BigChurch.com and he gets it and buys it and added his Buhddist minimalism thing into it. i don't totally get that but that's cool. when i read Sidhartha, he says i'll get it. :)

so pete and sara drift away on thursday and sanna and i hit Sandbar and come home to crash. yesterday was a spectacular day.

it was the most recent except for today, spectacular day. we ended up hitting the Folk Fest and sat on the beach on the sunday night during the full show. Jane Siberry [i have one of pete's albums of hers. it's got Mimi on the Beach, her famous song]. she's changed her name to something i gotta look it up. and she's "selling" her music online now by donations or free. getting outta the capitalism thing of it or something.

anyway, sanna and me sat on the shitty sand at Jericho to listen to awesome music. and we strolled around the vendors [the sand at Wreck is the only good non dusty, not full of sticks and front end loader tracks sand in the lower mainland. i'm a sand snob sanna says. she's right. sanna likes her name in here. she's gonna go by sanna now. if she does she has to pay me a loonie every time anyone calls her sanna.].

the title, remember it? Jewish girls? i'm getting there.

so we're at Jericho not being able to afford the vendor's stuff and when Folk Fest ends we join a drum circle. it ends cuz people said there's another one out at Spanish Banks. this wrecked guy won't go though, because he's rambling about how Double Standard promised to come so he's gotta be there. whatever. i googled double standard and i don't know WHAT he's talking about. we go. and we dance and dance and dance. we're not even boozed up. we're just in the move groove. and since we were close enough to wreck beach i took off my shirt and bikini top. another chick was wearing just a deep v-neck see thru tunic. luscious woman. i really enjoyed dancing that free. i don't do that at wreck cuz i'm not crazy enough to stay there overnight.

sanna kept her clothes on. too bad. :) though she appreciates my breasts.

well. that was Folk Fest for cheap folks. and sanna and me do our thing and get together for sandbar. yesterday we slept in until banana pancakes. and we're sitting on the balcony, cramped as it is, watching the people in the 2 building we can see into and napping. no sex. no nudity. just boring people doing boring things. not as boring looking as us on the balcony, but boring still. we weren't bored. talk was good.

then in mid-day i'm looking over and down a floor or two and i see this woman with shoulder length blond curly hair and blue and green plain thigh length shorts and NO SHIRT stretching against the wall of her balcony, she's like leaning forward to stretch out her calves or something. she looked so hot. sanna saw her too. then i looked back a few minutes later and she hasn't moved. sanna's like, shit, that's too wierd. we're still hungover i think and the sun isn't helping.

and this woman? it turns out when we stand up and look at her closer and we go inside to get a different angle through the windows, that she isn't a woman. she's a clay pot [her tanned back] with dead flower stems and leaves that spill abit over the edge [her hair] and sitting on a table with a green and blue plaid table clothe [her shorts]. we SCREAM laughing. if you don't see this as funny, you need to have been there i guess.

so anyway, yesterday while in recovery, we talk about lots. sanna broke up with her bf and has seen buddy's bro twice. living in the valley makes it tough for that situation. but they're not dating, just fucking. no stress then. sanna's past the born again virgin thing. though i must confess i admire her attempt at it.

and we talked about girl sex stuff and orgasms and grinding and such. she keeps track of her orgasms in her journal. she's not afraid of everyone on the internet knowing either. very cool. 6. that's how many. 1 in sunshine valley. 2 with bud's bro since then. and 3 on her own in the last year. and considering that SHE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL 5 WEEKS AGO [lying bitch], i'm pretty impressed that she had orgasms while still a high school student. i read a survey once that said few girls do in high school. they have lots of sex and lots of guys cum in and on them, but they way more often don't. tragic. feminism is not dead.

but we talked about methods and techniques and stuff and tho she knows i'm bi and isn't interested in playing with me, she did agree to cool off yesterday in the mid afternoon heat in a nice cool bath where i could show her what i do with my vibe. it was SPECTACULAR to cum when she was watching. it was a great gift to me even if she won't let me fuck her.

and yes, we're getting to the Jewish girl.

ok. how about now. when i was in rez at UBC there was a Jewish girl on my floor. she had a thing on her door frame. i can't remember what it's called. there were also two Sikhs and a Muslim girl then two. i know they chatted together if they weren't best friends. i was a closet christian that year so i didn't take part in the comparative religion yaks they seem to have had. too bad. i missed out there. there's a Jewish girl at my school now. she's got the thing on the door.

next door to the garried guppies in this building is a Jewish girl. woman actually. she's like 30. after our bath yesterday. we go out for some booze. she's got a thing on her door frame. she comes out wearing a really nice white dress with red polka dots. it's almost knee length. it's loose at the top. with spaghetti straps. i take a peek in the elevator but see nothing. i'm tempted to drop my keys to get her to bend over to pick them up. not.

anyway, she's heading out to dinner and a flick with her bf. we walk out into the lobby and head out towards the lickher store. we see buddy pulled up in a nice sedan and she pops into the car and waves bye. bf's wearing a yamika. how do you spell yamika?

anyway we go get booze. and put in a call to one of my bud guys who promises to swing by with some stuff before 600pm. nice.

we get off the phone and check messages. buddy from ubc and his bro want to come into town, where am i staying, am i housesitting, do i know i owe them a place to crash for a couple nights, can they come into town early and crash before the fireworks tonight [which we can see a bunch of them from the balcony, yay]. so i tell sanna that her dad called and said she needs to come home.

ouch. the girl can PUNCH.

bud and bro swing by after 700pm and we order pizza. sanna and bro watch a movie and talk and talk and talk. i like how they talk. it's so cool. they like to talk. but me and bud slide into the bedroom where he slides into me and i feel good. bud's an interesting guy. i can count on one thumb how many guys i've met who don't mind tasting their own cum. we fucked for a while, he came, i came close. he pulls out and i wipe a bit. then he starts licking me. i'm still cummy with sweat and my cream around, but i've never known a guy who'll suck me when his [or someone else's] cum is still in/on my pussy. bud's a good guy. way to go bud.

we shower and go go out to catch the rest of the movie and sanna and bro are already necking and grinding. sanna goes, thank you for the last couple days, holly. this is in return for today's lesson. and she takes bro's shorts down, takes off hers and her panties and starts grinding on top of him on the couch beside where me and bud are sitting in the love seat. [sanna's not even blushing right now as i'm typing this. wow. good girl.]

and she slides bro's cock into her and lifts up and rests down on it, up and down, just for me. well, her too she says. totally. at the same time she's doing one of the things with her clit that i showed her in the bath. and i'm just in a daze watching that white cock slide in and out of her black black pussy. such a beautiful site. and when she cums, bro is so thrilled that he cums too. they wipe up and go shower.

and that's enough of the movie. now bud and bro have brought season 1 of 24, which we've never seen. i've seen every Alias except for one in the 3rd season, but i won't watch 24 until i can do it right.

so i say, hey, let's play pool first. the common room in the building is on the second floor above the lobby. it has pool and foosball and a big couch and monster tv for hockey parties or Super Bowl or whatever. we go down and it's not booked and no one's in, so we sign up and head in.

we play some pool. we watch 5 or 6 episodes. and bud and bro go out for some nibblies. the pot is working.

it's like 130am.

and me and sanna are sitting in the big chair in front of the window watching the people roam around looking for the hot dog guys. there's this one pair of guys we see go back and forth 3 times. they're first nations. young guy has ghetto wear on and we walks with a swagger like a dealer-pimp. older guy wears shorts and a Canucks shirt and walks with the humility of the Dali Lama. i can't get a read on them. is it just immaturity and self-consciousness that makes a guy walk like that?

anyway, before bud and bro get back, the sedan pulls up in front of the lobby door. we can see down. Jewish girl next door in her awesome dress is sitting there. car goes off. lights go off. i can see more down her dress from a floor above a high lobby than i could beside her in the elevator. nice tan i think.

they start necking. i guess this based on her body posture leaning left and his black shirted arm wrapping over her back. we can't see their heads cuz there's no sunroof.

this goes on for a few minutes. me and sanna are impressed. they're right there on the street, but it is late. only like 3 people go by in the 5 minutes we watch. during that time, bf's hand reaches between her legs twice rubbing her pussy over her dress, and up over her boob like 5 times. after the third time down to her pussy, i see her pop her head over towards the window. it's closed. air conditioning i guess. she looks up and down the street. but not up!

then she twists in her seat and slides her panties onto the floor and lifts her skirt halfway up her thigh and lies her head back onto the headrest. we still can't see her face.

i've heard that Middle Eastern girls have a reputation for being firey horny. what that's based on is beyond me. who cares. maybe it's a male desire of Middle Eastern girls. maybe it's true. don't know.

bf slides his hand back between her legs now, this time underneath. she pushes the skirt down a bit over his forearm. he starts rubbing her. she's a fan as she's clearly breathing heavier. bf's other hand slides her left strap down and slides under her dress to feel all the way down to her nipple. she's happy. after a few minutes he stops and slides his arms back. me and sanna look at each other and lean back so our faces aren't totally up against the window but still so we can see. 15 seconds later, 2 girls walk by their car. bf's clearly watching out for pedestrians. :)

another 10 seconds and he's back into her. i'm getting wet. sanna just said she was too. good for you sanna! another few minutes go by and he stops once for a fellow walking by and then another few minutes before the girl clearly cums. she's been holding the right arm rest generally. at one magical point she squeezes it and bends her arm to almost a right angle, lifting her torso forward and dropping her dress to show us part of her left breast.

we're quite impressed. i'm a voyeur. i embrace it. i like to watch. i like porn, soft porn better than hard.

and so. talk to Jewish girls. my plan is to meet up with the woman next door and have a chat and get to know her and get a sense of what sex tips for Jewish girls would look like. and it might not happen. i'm only here until pete's back. but my idea goes for all Jewish girls i meet. or Muslims or Sikhs or anyone who's in a religion where there are codes for behaviour, regardless of whether or not they are different for guys and girls.

so if you are one of those girls, email me or comment on this and let me know what your story is. cuz i bet we have something in common.

we're all in this together, even if each of our this-es are different. maybe it's a chick thing. i don't know. but it is something. and that's why i started this blog anyway.

time to burn. fireworks starting soon, just heard a warning boom.

in touch,
holly

Commited to Virginity or Just Not to Him?

2006-07-14T01:48:00.000-06:00

so, june was housesitting and it went into july a bit. then me and a bud from ubc, who i liked but just as a friend, got together for bellinis a couple times and he invited me up to sunshine valley just past hope.

his family has a place on a stream there. they're pretty cool. dad's in real estate in langley and is a charismatic christian. mom's into saddles. she seems pretty grounded. bro is into timbits at tim's. he says he makes tens of thousands each day. whatever. :)

so we're up there for most of july. got back yesterday to sleep on some more couches. my sweetie char gets me for a while i guess. you rock, char!

i did the math and i think i could pretty much skip the couches and ride cocks the rest of the summer until the journey to school again. not that i'd let someone fuck me for a place to stay, but i know enough worthy fellows to spend more time on futons than couches with too wooden arms. but i won't. not because of anything but i don't feel like it.

sunshine valley has a pool. me and bud and his bro spent some time there most days before and after his folks went back to the city last wednesday. while there we met "sanna", a gorgeous fijian chick who was also there with her family. her family also goes to a charismatic church. her brothers were much younger than her, like 8 and 10 years so she was really bored and we started to hang out, the four of us.

sanna liked bud's dad cuz they talked about the spirit alot. my sense of the spirit is quite different, but they're cool and i got alot of insight about their way of being in it. that's cool.

she hung out with us for a few days before bud's folks took off. we'd play scrabble, hang at the pool, sit in the stream, hike a bit. whatever.

and me and sanna had some great talks sitting in the stream or at the pool. she's 20. turns 21 in august. we're going to sandbar for some goodtimes. her bf is a nice guy she says. he sounds like it. she's had a few before him, she went all the way with her first a few times before she got saved. but this guy, who's also fijian [for whatever that's worth] and charismatic wants to have sex with her and she doesn't. she's a born again virgin. and she's been doing well since the first bf. but this guy's realllllly into getting her to say yes. she says he says he is too, but this is different. i can see that...she's a pretty awesome chick.

she's like all over how nice he is and everything, which is so nice, but there's always this lingering "but" in the air that she can't name. so i say, what's the "but" and she says there is none. for a few days. and finally, she goes, even if she were interested in having sex, she wouldn't do it with him even though she really likes him. i wait and wait and wait and she finally goes, he's just not physically appealing to her. he's attractive, she says, but not to the point where she's all gonzo.

anyway, bud's folks head home and we stay. we swing into hope for some booze and bud, not bud, but bc bud. and head back. sanna's hanging out alot and the first night, bud goes from just a friend from ubc a few years ago to a splendid cock to ride. lotsa luving. by the weekend i was riding bud and bro and things were quite nice. walking around in the cabin by the stream wearing just a tshirt, enjoying the freedom of virtual nudity. there's a walking trail between the cabin and the stream so we can't go all buff. and sunday, sanna's over for the day while her family went into hope for church and walking othello tunnels and we get some drinking in and sanna becomes SANNA.

now i'm not saying born again virginity is a joke. it's not. i respect it and people who attempt it. i don't agree with its necessity, but that's not the point. people do as they do. and that's cool. same with me.

but after all the talking a few days earlier, sanna's final part of the story is that she's not as commited to the born again virgin thing as she had been. but she wasn't interested in breaking it with her bf. but she wasn't really aware of that in her mind.

SANNA came out on sunday after a good amount of pear cider and i like to think hanging with us, bud and bro in trunks and me in my long orange shirt and even though i'm not so busty, i think i put in an erotic tone to it all. she and i didn't fuck, but i think i wore off on her. at any rate, when bud was sitting on the couch, i sat on his lap and he started grinding, which was subtle at first cuz sanna was there. but it got past subtle and i just got into it and bud's hands got me off under my shirt.

and sanna became SANNA on bud's bro as she plunked down on his lap too. before i came, i opened my eyes and came up for air to see SANNA sitting on the chair, shorts and bikini bottoms on the floor and bud's bro's tongue all the way inside her pussy and one hand rubbing one of her boobs that had been released from its top. she has the blackest labia i've ever seen! absolutely gorgeous.

then me and bud retired to a bedroom to keep it on and let them go too. their grooving for several days i guess set them up for some booze and play. good for them! i knew they were casual, but i wouldn't have predicted that.

i felt all sorts of things in the following three days. i enjoyed bud. i liked his bro, but bud's better at his cock play. but whatever. both of them are very special guys. i really like and respect them. but i ended up [not surprisingly i guess] envying bud's bro cuz he got to get into sanna so well. she's very attractive, has a sweet soul, talks well, has a sly but not mean sense of humour, and is just outgoing enough. and i think as much as deedee doodle is hot, she's not a "real" person in "real" life like sanna is. or char. and i don't know if sanna's into girls. we never got that far in talking.

we're gonna meet saturday night at jericho to hang on the beach and pick up some of the folk fest sounds. and i don't wanna just pounce my idea on her, but i do need to drop the rest of my truths on her to see where she's at.

but she threw me a bit this past week. i was seeing her as a woman in a bit of confusion about guys and sex and stuff and i didn't want to lay a package of stuff on her, just be there for her as a friend. and it was when she was doing bud's bro that i started to feel more for her than i had earlier in the week. not that that's bad, i think. i was really concerned about helping her understand her and the born again virgin thing verses whether she wanted to sleep with her bf [they broke up this afternoon. no shock]. and i think i was there for that. and i'm glad of that.

but now, i just think she's hot and so worthy of investing time into each other. and if not, not. she's only 20 after all. for whatever that's worth.

the other thing i was thinking, which i'll ask sanna about when it's ok to, is to ask about how some [certainly not all or most] of the charismatic folks i've met who are more emotionally intense in normal social company, if they are more emotionally intense in bed.

cock riding is one thing, riding a charismatic cock may be something else alltogether.

so. if you're reading this and your a charismatic man or woman, lemme know!

in touch,
holly

DeeDee Doodle

2006-07-14T01:40:00.000-06:00

the doodlebops are a pretty amazing band. i'm not 4 years old, but i can certainly apreciate them.

they are much fun on those days i wake up before noon.

the thing about deedee doodle is that she has a great spirit and a great voice. and after a bit of searching and filtering out the porn actress lisa lennox, i found the lisa lennox who plays deedee.

and it's silly, but i have a crush on deedee doodle, like probably many 4 year old boys.

pinch me!

in touch,
holly

Emotional Spectrum - Warm Fuzzies to Angerfests: Pants really ought to be stronger.

2006-06-23T14:37:00.000-06:00

Emotional Spectrum - Warm Fuzzies to Angerfests: Pants really ought to be stronger.

so i got home from a day at wreck beach the other day and i figured something else out. it's been a week of learning BIGtime truths.

at the beach i was hexing and warding off the 21 year old losers from cloverdale who wear knee length shorts and cowboy hats and try to put there blankets down near pairs of naked girls. and i got thinking about dressing provocatively.

there's such a black and white thing about it. girls should dress hot cuz they might be responsible for rapes. the alternative is to dress such as to not enrage male hormones.

first question: why then don't we wear burkas cuz that's what they're for in islam?

but the point i figured out is this: it's not OUR fault that some men have rapist tendencies. to dress so as to not provoke those criminal acts, WE must change OUR ways. that means the rapists among us are allowed to not have to address their rapist tendencies.

what about the middle road: dressing hot cuz it's nice to show off a body i'm proud of and let girls and guys enjoy it WITHOUT FEARING THEY'LL RAPE ME.

then it's the double standard thing: guys can dress hot and slutty and love it and girls love it and everything's ok. what's the difference? the difference is that for probly just biological reasons, women usually CAN'T rape men. we aren't strong enough.

so here's a good sex tip for christian and all girls, but particularly hot christian girls that i'd like to see in more sexy clothes. the next time someone accuses you of dressing slutty and uses the argument that they may incite rape or lust, ask why a woman changing her behaviour is the solution for woman-hating men to be allowed to have rapist thoughts. that should be a conversation stopper.

we deserve to look good without being responsible for others' criminal minds.

that said, ryven's post is a fun little day in the life thing to read about and i won't say what she should or shouldnt do about showing boob flesh in job interviews or other contexts, but it got me thinking about what we should be able to do.

that said, cute girls should show their bodies. we deserve it. and you know what? we're ALL cute!

in touch,
holly

Emotional Spectrum - Warm Fuzzies to Angerfests: More thoughts on religion

2006-06-23T14:26:00.000-06:00

Emotional Spectrum - Warm Fuzzies to Angerfests: More thoughts on religion

this chick kicks ass!

she's got her head quite on straight!

in touch,
holly

The lie of men who "honour" women: something i learned today

2006-06-23T14:01:00.000-06:00

this post is from my blog in bigchurch.com. in there recently, some guys have been saying blunt, insensitive, woman-hating comments/jokes which they apologize for later by regretting being insensitive. women who respond to their filth end up apologizing for their reaction...which i think is shameful and a result of a chauvanistic society that makes women feel guilty for making men feel bad. gimme a break.

essentially the advice i give below is for all chicks, but christian girls in particular cuz in christian communities it seems to be more acceptable to put up with woman-hating.

......................

in writing a response to some guy's anti-woman hatefilled generalizing comment on another blog post i figured out something about men.

and this isn't about Men in general but lots men i've known. most Men i've known haven't really been a physical, mortal or emotional threat to me.

2 have.

at any rate. men who actually hate women [but dont' know it] often claim to love and respect women. they talk the charm talk and sleep around [showing their love of women in general] and claim to be nice to women. but they also abuse women emotional, mentally and physically. actually hitting women with the baseball bat is only mildly more awful than swinging it menacingly.

so what i'm saying is that some men hate women when they think they don't. but theire actions betray their true feelings. and what i figured out in writing a post in someone elses blog is that the women they love are the ones who won't challenge their dominance over women. women are great if they build these men up. women forgive them for their blunt, insensitive comments. women recognize their painful past often causes their bad behaviour. being generous and forgiving is fine, but if the person yer extending forgiveness to KEEPS picking up the baseball bat or posting horribly insensitive anti-women comments or "jokes", he needs to go to jail....or the equivalent in a blog...at the very least being challenged on his rudeness and offense.

so the women-hating men only love women who keep the men in power over them.

advice time..women and girls: men who at times treat you with respect, but at other times hurt or try to hurt you are faking it when they are treating you with respect. you need to be firm and assertive with them. you must call them on their horse turds. you must let them know that you will put them in jail if they threaten or hurt you. you must tell your friends, the rcmp, your mutual friends and take the risk of looking victimized...CUZ YOU HAVE BEEN VICITIMIZED. and because of that, the women-hating men trust that you'll live in the shame and not nail them for it.

but you shouldn't. you should name them as the bullies they are and let them and their social network know that if any threats or attacks [physical, mortal, emotinoal, psychological] come your way, you will respond with lawyers, the rcmp, or in the end in dire times with the kickboxing you've been learning. if you aren't learning kickboxing, get on it, girls!

a gf of mine lives in a big condo. someone she knows a few floors down was broken into one night last month when his wife was outta town and he was sleeping and there 2 year old was asleep in her bedroom. the burglar got some jewelry and the ipod and even went into the kid's bedroom and took the coin jar. so lame. but that's not the point.

the point is that the sleeping guy was freaked out, not only at the thought of burglar in his daughter's room, but that he was freaked out that if he was awake, he would have killed him with his kickboxing. now i know americans are down with having guns at home and feeling ok about killing intruders who wanna steal the plasma tv. but this guy was terrified that if he were awake he would not have stopped attacking the burglar until the guy/girl [whatever] was dead. and that crushed him. but i'd do the same. even if it meant years of therapy to get over killing a guy with my bare feet cuz he was in my daughter's room.

my point is that i found great strength from that story. i'm willing to defend myself against people who emotionally, psychologically, physically or mortally threaten me. be it the rcmp, lawyers, shaming the guy with his friends and coworkers or physically defending myself to the point of mildly or if need be seriously injuring him [or more if necessary] if my life is in danger.

if americans can kill intruders with guns to protect their plasma tvs, i will protect myself against men who claim to respect women, but callously abuse and dishonour them.

if someone posts a beautiful blog piece where love and joy take place and some woman-hating man who claims to respect women spreads a piece of toad turd in there about women, i will not need to use my kickboxing to incapacitate him. but if i go somewhere else to respond to his filth, the post remains beautiful, yet with some unchallenged assualts on women coming from women-hating me.

so. that said. i need to reiterate to the people who backhandedly accuse me of hating men. that only two men i've known have had the capacity and mental tendency to kill or hurt me. they're no threat to me anymore.

since them, i've encountered 2 others i spotted as those types at parties or as friends of friends. one of the guys was an athlete in a contact sport [which i won't disparage by naming] and was really inappropriately physically aggressive..."just joking" tho even after he was making me and 2 gfs really uncomfortable and we said so. the other i was making out with and he wanted to go further than i did. it was one of those right on the edge of date rape that most girls encounter [yet mostly don't report]. i stopped it with a minor kickboxing move that merely bruised him bigtime on one muscle.

i ended contact with them without ambiguity. i let them know that if they interacted with me again, i'd maim them. starting with their family jewels. they called me nasty names, but it worked. they've stayed away. part of how it worked is i let our mutual friends know how they crossed a line, so it's out there and if they think they can cruise back my way without anyone else knowing, it won't work cuz already tons of people know.

and in the end, i love Men in general and most of the men i've met in my life have been awesome, even if i haven't gotten close to them or liked them much, they've been honourable human beings and respectful of women.

but i tell ya...the few in the tiny minority who think it's ok to knock women around a bit, need to know that i will do my best to maim them and their future ability to sire offspring. and unlike the guy who shuddered to think that he woulda killed his intruder if he was awake, i'm willing to do so if my life is on the line. i'd be prepared for learning how to deal with it after the fact, but i'd rather deal with killing an abuser than being dead. DEAD. and to the men who think it's funny that a good thing about dead women is they nag less, should give their head a shake, contact their local ywca and take a rape crisis counsellor out to a nice olive garden lunch and ask her/him about their day.

and those of you who wish to write off my comments and accuse me of being a man-hater, read again what i wrote about the proportion of men in my life i've loved. and if you still feel legitimate to criticize me, you must first share with us all your story that is similar or worse to being a teenage girl with a pre-teen sister and a bruised mother dealing with a jerk dad who picks up baseball bats and waves them back and forth to get his way and make the women in his life honour him.

if your story is in the same boat, i welcome your criticism.

if it's not, your criticism might be met with some harsh reply.

Sinning!

2006-06-13T00:35:00.000-06:00

so i'm housesitting for a friend's cousin for june. vancouver is odd. there's all these new free daily papers. smily folks thrust them at me at busy intersections and the skytrain stations.

the metro, 24hrs, dose...they all seem to be like the ticker running across the bottom of newsworld. factoids without the backstory.

big headlines are kinda silly too.

today's metro is "Sex before 16 is a sin?"

the prime minister's gonna raise the age of consent from 14 to 16 in canada.

so someone goes out and does a morality poll of canadians and finds that 2/3rds think sex before 16 is a sin. well, that's the headline. the poll question actually said immoral.

now, christians know that extramarital sex is a sin. i guess in canada most think 16 should be the lower limit. i didn't lose my virginity until my 20s, but if i could have done it all over again with the ball and chain of a repressive, anti-woman conservative church, 16 would have been about the time for me.

so that's interesting.

also interesting is that 31% think homosexuality is immoral. i guess that includes bisexuality [for me].

but here's something too wierd. only 81% think pedophilia is immoral. wtf?

what are the other 19% thinking? do they maybe not know the definition of the word? are they for some stupid reason unsure? are they interested in diddling kids and admit it to an annoymous pollster by saying they don't think its immoral?

with all the crap the glbt community and liberal christians get, you'd think people would be a little more freaked out about the lack of 100% objection to pedophilia.

or maybe that's just me.

The Solitary: Sluts vs. Virgins: America

2006-05-13T16:26:00.000-06:00

a very sick and angry christian writes about torturing revolting teenagers who have sex.

wow.

my comments follow his text.

The Solitary: Sluts vs. Virgins: America

Sunday, May 07, 2006
Sluts vs. Virgins: America
to read the Original Article, click here

Recently a woman reporter on PBS's Frontline did a very telling interview with several young girls. The first three to be interviewed, at first glance, looked like cute fifteen to sixteen-year-olds. But on second glance you notice the depraved features. They're scantily clad and sitting in bed smoking.

What you assumed was innocent girl talk turns out to be their boasting about "He did her, while she did the other guy, who was on top of her friend, while she took his...," etc., etc. And it soon becomes obvious that they're not even hookers because they do it for fun and not for money. It's the "in" thing to do in their peer group.

The interviewer asked them how old they were when they lost their virginity. One said around thirteen or fourteen. The second said she was thirteen, and the third remembered that she was twelve at the time.

Instead of your heart going out to these youngsters, if you're like me, you can't help but feel revolted. There wasn't an ounce of innocence left in any of them. They had become nothing but hardened, empty sex toys ñ and were proud of it.

The scene then changed to three other girls about the same age, three Christian girls who were still virgins. Unlike the three swingers above, these three were outcasts in their high school because they believe there should be no sex outside marriage.

Can you believe the world is this topsy turvy because of the degeneracy of the likes of Bill Clinton and his following of liberal perverts? They think it's normal behavior for youngsters to be passed around like a used condom to male, female, under-age, over-age, all-orifice "love" freaks.

But the three sixteen-year-olds who are still virgins are treated like pariahs in their own school. The new unpardonable sin for the sexopathic left and their victims is moral "hangups." People like the three little swingers, who spread lethal diseases and kill their unborn babies, are not the ones to be pilloried. It's the chaste and decent ones who need to be sent to counseling for their sexual guilt complexes.

Did you think it was only the John Rockers who will be marched off to reorientation camp for their homophobia? You'll be sent there even sooner for praising chastity, so they can fix your "abstinophilia." After all, it might be contagious and bring the country back to some degree of moral decency.

I'm sorry, when I see things like this I can't help but have a fantasy. I imagine that women like the three little swingers are sent to one of the Muslim fundamentalist countries, where they're taught some of the sobering Old Testament truths about their behavior.

It's no wonder that countries where they have strict views on chastity see America as a source of moral corruption in the world. Can you blame them for not wanting to send their daughters here to be turned into rebellious little sluts? Even though there is much hypocrisy in those countries, because of their own corrupt practices, their view of America reflects the extent of moral decay in a country that was once the standard-bearer of decency in the world.

Who's to blame for American decadence? Didn't I say before that it's trickle-down immorality?

Throughout the ages, it always seeps down from corruption at the top. That's no excuse for the followers. We're not forced to go along with it. But, on the whole, it's like a law of physics in the area of society and morality. If the head starts rotting, it spreads throughout the whole body. If your brain becomes corrupted with perverse attitudes, your body will follow suit. You'll see it in your face and eyes and in your body language. It will undermine your physical health even if you're lucky enough not to contract a communicable disease.

A country is no different; even the entire world is no different. The converse is true as well. Just as in ancient Israel, the country was strong and healthy whenever it had moral, God-fearing kings as it was weak and strife-ridden whenever the kings were evil. Anyone who thinks the U.S. is an exception to this is a victim of the Big Lie.

posted by Solitary Copt at 6:36 PM

wow. i feel sorry for you that you don't even have enough compassion for your heart to not go out to the teens involved in sex.

even without the trite love the sinner, hate the sin, you are just revolted by them.

christians who move straight to revulsion without compassion are not good ambassadors of the faith.

then calling on the three to be tortured until dead makes you right down there with the muslim fundamentalists the USA is fighting a war against.

how odd.

also, i'm not sure how america can be a moral standard bearer for the world when it has invaded other countries over 240 times in its checkered history. i don't know the america you live in.

and if you blame the leadership, Clinton's sure guilty. but what about the warmongering Bush? if he's morally pure, wouldn't the country be turning around to "moral decency"?

trick question. he's not morally pure.

in touch,
holly

Christian Wives as a Dependency Problem

2006-05-13T15:42:00.000-06:00

Wow: the top ten things that christian women seek in men.

#4
"Single Christian girls are looking for a guy who can provide a stable environment. Translation: A single woman finds a man appealing who has a steady job and loving relationships with his immediate family members. This shows the single Christian girl that the guy is dependable, consistent and able to provide for a family. This issue of provision is extremely important for a any single woman looking for a mate."

wow. mostly i'm speechless. not to say that christian women who think this is this much of a big deal are spineless doormats, but this is the 21st century. an organized religious institution that promotes female submissiveness is to be destroyed. not that the christian church does this en masse. but there's a vibe out there that reinforces women looking for the knight on a shiny white horse instead of stripping off her clothes and riding that godiva white horse to assert her femininity and independence.

well, not that i am condoning public nudity for all christian girls, :) but come on. i'm a fan of dependable and consistent, but providing for a family? if yer choosing housewife, great. but being married to a house isn't it for me.

#5
"Coming on in fifth place is the issue of physical attractiveness. Christian single girls relay that it’s important (but not most important) that they be somewhat physically attracted to the man they marry. In other words, when a single Christian girl looks upon you, she should find ”something” appealing about you physically. You may not be a Brad Pitt, but you almost certainly have at least one feature that is above average in appearance."

fifth place is where a man should be "somewhat physically attracted" to the woman. first we tell women to look for a man to take care of them. then we lower women's standards to settle for someone who doesn't totally physically make you yearn for him while romping naked.

this advice is dangerous.

in touch,
holly

My Virtual Model

2006-05-13T01:05:00.000-06:00

sexy is fun. avatars are cool too. i've got a yahoo avatar that's cool but cartoonish. and they all have dora the explora bodies. i found a bunch of avatar stuff at mvm.com. there u can build your own model that looks like your body and of course dress it in tons of clothes from stores, but whatever.

and while i said i don't put pix of ME up here, cuz i'm not a fool, above is an avatar that is close to me. kinda like the guess girl on the left. my cartoony yahoo avatar is there too. stupid proportions.

when it comes to sex, my body is rocking. i don't have the supermodel proportions. i'm a bit hippy. but i saw a doc on newsworld a couple years ago where they did a study of what's hot for biological man. it wasn't a small bum. hello j.lo. it was proportionality, which i'm blessed with. i'm hippy, but my hips are good to hang on to whilst grinding or eating. this is good.

i don't have a tiny ass. i'm firm and juicy and meaty to rub and grip. i like this alot.

as a teenager i wanted a smaller bum. all the petite girls had them. it took years b4 i could really appreciate what is below my waist. as well as my tiny boobs. B is fine. C and D are big, but my Bs rock. and roll. and slide. and compress just nicely thanks. and nipples are all around. we've all gottem. and i'm good with mine.

at any rate. these swim suits are nice. but i don't buy $150 suits to wear down the cliffs to wreck beach just to take it off again. mind you, when the surrey boys in their cowboy hats and long shorts come down to take advantage of the clothing optional nature of the beach and set up in groups of 3 or 4 near our blanket, it's time to toss on whatever unflattering clothes or frumpy swimsuit i've got.

often times there just polite enough that you can't just leave or ask them to go. there full of questions cuz they so want to get to know us. the worst are the ones with the mirrored shades cuz u never know where there looking.

and i know i'm out there and assertive sexually and stuff, but there's a kinda uninvited [alanis, right?] invasiveness about them and the shades. it would even be less threatening if they took off their shades and i could watch them looking at my breasts or pussy. at least i know where i and they stand. i could work with that.

and the biggest thing is that they won't get naked. and i'm cool with everyone and their process and each person needs time to get to where there comfortable doing it, but they look like there there for the cheap thrills and not so much the culture of nude bodies. that's why god invented surrey peeler bars after all. and sillicone. :)

in touch,
holly

The most beautiful woman in Vancouver

2006-05-13T00:57:00.000-06:00

ok. so i'm back in vancruiser for the summer. couch surfing. wreck beach once the temp rises above 25c. and look at the big hole in front of regent college on the ubc campus! killer. probly gonna be a parkade. losers. or maybe a worship theatre. :)

at any rate, i was swinging down by granville island to hang with the glass blowers vibe and meet a gf at emily carr. and strolling through the net loft i see the hat store has finally got some real digs and sweetnees, i slide in to maiwa to see some incredible clothes that i'll be able to afford in a couple decades maybe. but i just wanted to run my fingers through it cuz its so sensual.

charlotte the owner is not who i'm talking about. she's sweet. at least from what i could get eavesdropping on her conversation with an elderwoman. but as i'm leaving this woman walks in and goes behind the counter to do some retail-type stuff--she works there i guess. duh. she's kinda asian with luscious long wavy hair and the slyest body i've seen in a long time. the lululemon clones at kits beach could only DREAM of being her. and she was on another plane of cool vibes that i'd pay my student loan to spend a day with.

i don't know her name and had to fly to meet my best chick. if you know her name, lemme know. post a comment in here. email me. whatever. just lemme know. she's in my mind and intricately linked to my clit already.

anyway. if you know who i'm talking about, we can enjoy some serendipity of knowing the truth of...

the most beautiful woman in vancouver.

in touch,
holly

Christian Girls to Not Use as Role Models

2006-04-30T22:50:00.000-06:00

so. Jump5. a nice squeeky clean Christian pop group of eternal happiness and beauty.

i'm in a cynical mood tonight so forgive the lack of belief in these 4 people.

they're all cute. i'd do any of them. they're talented and role models for the squeekier than 7th Heaven crowd but they aren't real.

or at least, they haven't lived enough of life to be well-balanced human beings who've confronted strife and troubles and somehow lived through them to be believable.

this lesley chick is interesting. i'm sure she's a wonderful person who loves god, but there are limits to my ability to buy her as a total package.

here's what i don't buy about her. always bubbly and happy. if this is true, i wonder how sheltered she is. no one is always bubbly and happy if they've been to a World Vision 30 hour famine and learned about why 30,000 kids die every day for no good reason.

she carries her puppy and loves to shop. these things, technically, i can believe. but they bug me. loving to shop is no way for christians to act. god doesn't want us to buy stuff. he wants us to love people. all the crap i can get at the gap is made by children in sweatshops. buying there stuff is no act of love.

making sure she was able to go to prom reminds me of a christina aguilara thing i saw about how she was famous by the time prom came around and it wierded everything out. home school i'm sure is great, but going to prom when yer not part of the school community is a little bit unreal. people who check out of "regular" life things like school are going to have difficulties adjusting to those they went to school with before. or maybe not. maybe her buds are awesome and can totally take her for what she is, which would be great. but people, largely, aren't that awesome.

the marketing of these dudes seems great. there's even an ad/plug/link to the scrapbooking company she buys from in her bio.

there music is crisp and poppy and videos are bouncy and cool.

in the end tho, i think they're all selling something to young people that is not realistic. most people don't carry their puppies and have the ability to love to shop.

reality matters. people who've overcome struggles matter. lesley doesn't cut it for me as a role model. but as i said, i'd do her. :)

in touch,
holly

Sex Tip for Christian Girls #2: the early evening BJ

2006-04-16T17:55:00.000-06:00

ok. i can't take credit for this. i learned it from a gf at ubc. not that this is a special ubc trick or anything, but in the dorm i figured out alot of easy ways for life to flow.

these tips aren't in any progressive order. that would be way too complicated.

this tip is for christian girls who are into being sexual of a sort with a christian or non=christian guy. not necessarily intercourse i mean.

it's all about the course of a date in an evening. the great pressure after dinner or a movie or whatever to go back to whoever's place and fool around.

it's all about ladies first. u know? we cum first. that's the golden rule.

but it's hard with boys being boys and all.

once it's time to play around and enjoy each other, guys have waited all night to cum and some of them, those with the least control, often lose it waaaaaaaaaay too early. sometimes still in their pants. what a shame.

and lotsa times once you get to fooling around, rubbing, kissing, sucking and licking, they're way to close already [all night] that they lose their load and then drift into that dazed place that isn't so great for girls to get off.

so the tip is simple, and i thank my friend immensely for it.

it goes like this.

boy comes to your dorm room [or wherever] to pick you up. you invite him in. finish your make up, whatever. let him wait a bit.

then slide up your skirt and flash your panties and watch his cock grow. [or unbutton a few buttons on your top or anything that will let him know his member should stand up.]

kiss him. rub your breast in his face. rub his hand on your pussy. then go down on him.

pull out his cock and love it until it loves you back.

whether yer into swallowing or mopping up. it doesn't matter. let him enjoy your love. but the date's not over. :)

it's just begun.

dinner, then a movie, whatever you're doing.

by the time the end of the evening has come around, he'll already have cum. he'll feel grateful and unless he's a complete asshole, he'll feel some gratitude and want to make it up to you.

this leaves you in the position of inviting him to please you. whether you're into him sucking or rubbing you or any other cock games..whether or not yer into intercourse...you get your rights as a woman to cum "first."

and i've had this debate with many women and girls. technically, he cums first. but until yer dealing with guys who can hold it for more than 3-4 minutes, you need to get him out of the way before you get any. if you can do it early in the evening, so much the better.

oh yes, also get them to watch something about mary so they know the value of masterbating BEFORE coming over.

you may prefer this if you haven't yet gotten into the not so hidden glory of a perforing blowjobs. some girls just never get into it. which is fine.

at any rate, it's important for a guy to clear his "head" before he'll be any use to you in getting you off.

in touch,
holly

Jesus Loves Everything: Abortion Poem V: The Scalping Dance

2006-04-14T12:44:00.000-06:00

Jesus Loves Everything: Abortion Poem V: The Scalping Dance

oh yeah. the guy who runs that blog calls it this:

"Jesus Loves Everything: A site dedicated to traditional conservative christian family values"

i don't think God blesses people to make racist poetry.

on it, he's got a bunch of poems about abortion being bad. here's one. i guess being right like he is means it's ok to be a racist too:

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Abortion Poem V: The Scalping Dance

I think I mentioned in an earlier post (the one about manifest destiny) that Indians have promised to perform abortions in South Dakota should the anti-abortion law stand. Well, that angered me so much, God blessed me with the inspiration to write a poem about it. Here it is:

The Scalping Dance

Pow wow wow wow
Pow wow wow wow
HOW HOW!

Indian chief,
Indian chief
Scalping, scalping
Innocence thief!

Feather in his hair,
Evil spirits in the air,
He dances, dances
A fire dance,

The flames
Rising,, rising
They rise

And feed and feed
Because a woman
Will bleed.

And rising, rising
In approval
The flames rise
For a removal.

Indian chief,
Indian chief
Scalping, scalping
Innocence thief!

Laughing, laughing
He tears the womb,
The woman now a tomb
And dances, dances
His fire dance,

The flames
Rising, rising
They rise

Jumping and leaping
For the sacrifice,
Satan’s sign
Of spite for Christ.

Indian chief,
Indian chief,
Scalping, scalping
Innocence thief!

His turquoise beads dangle,
His weathered hands strangle,
And he dances, dances
A fire dance,

The flames
Rising, rising
They rise

Sparkling, crackling
At the fetus’s belly
In his hands
Sticky like jelly.

Indian chief,
Indian chief,
Scalping, scalping
Innocence thief!

His blade slices the head
And its blood runs red,
And he dances, dances
A fire dance,

The flames
Rising, rising
They rise

Lighting up the sky
As the fetus is drained and squeezed
Into a cauldron
And Satan smiles, pleased.

Indian chief,
Indian chief,
Scalping, scalping
Innocence thief!

He mixes it into a potion,
Rubbing it on like lotion,
And he dances, dances
A fire dance,

The flames
Rising, rising
They rise

Fueled by hate
And the mother’s sin
A trail of tears
Left in their wake

Pow wow wow wow
Pow wow wow wow
HOW HOW!

Jesus Loves Everything: A Comment on Women (Why More than 25% need to be beaten)

2006-04-14T12:29:00.000-06:00

Jesus Loves Everything: A Comment on Women (Why More than 25% need to be beaten)

oh god. what a sick women-hating fuck this guy is.

his post and my comments are included below. many other people nailed his idiocy in comments as well check them out.

the dumb thing about this is that i've heard people who don't promote beating women say the UN is for the antichrist and we shouldn't trust it. that's just a guess. it might be the best bet for world government but the WTO thing is getting bigger too and it's like, only 10 years old and the UN is 60. WTO's rising faster.

anyway these folks who don't trust the UN need to explain away correct things the UN says like kids die from dirty water. having to always justify things must be hard for the simple minded.

in touch,
holly

his post with my comment below:

A Comment on Women (Why More than 25% need to be beaten)
Apparently 25% of married Syrian women have been beaten. At least according to the UN -- not exactly the most trustworthy organization, given that it will be the vehicle that antichrist uses in his rise to power. But let's assume it's true, and let's assume it's true for all women, in general. Immediately one must question whether 25% of women being beaten is a bad thing, simply because the UN, with it's "study," implies that it is. Anything the UN says is good must be bad, and vice versa. So if the UN is saying that what's happened is bad, then it's most likely good, unless, of course, they have released this study for some other purpose without regard to the morality of the facts, like to hide a nefarious plot to steal the United States' sovereignty.

In this case, I think the fact that women are being beaten is good, but we could be doing better. And here's an example of why. Yet again we are given another example of the inherent differences between men and women, and yet again the inherent differences reveal the inferior, prone-to-evil nature of women. The fact that men are effected more greatly than women by amphetamines is proof that men's brains are naturally more innocent than women's. Man is profoundly effected because he is inherently good and meant to experience pain and suffering without feeling so unnaturally good except when embraced by the love of God. Woman, on the other hand, exists in a drug-like state, because the Devil has so much power over her. And because she's already drugged, real drugs don't have such a powerful effect on her. I would be willing to bet, however, that if you were to run the same tests on Christian women, they would be just as powerfully effected as men. In any event, this is an example of why more than 25% of women need to be beaten, because since women are so inherently bad, it follows that more than 25% of them commit bad, un-God-ly acts and should be punished to keep them in line and bring them to Christ.

And here's another example of why women should be beaten. As I've stated before, God is punishing women by changing their shape so they are less attractive. Now, however, scientists have come up with a formula for the perfect female figure. It is only a matter of time before they or their witch brethren invent some type of potion to make mis-shapen women fit into the formula and thus into clothes that fit and make them look beautiful again. Clearly, the Devil is trying to bring women to his side, and we all know how women can be controlled through their self-esteem. Therefore, it is imperative that we men keep control over the situation with beatings. Otherwise, nearly all women will succumb to their natural impulses and pre-marital sex, abortions, and theivery will run rampant over society. When this happens, I'm afraid, the UN will most likely use the situation to bring it into position to be the world's government, and we will be helpless to stop the rise of the antichrist.

my comment in reply [he seems to have replied to other comments. i hope he replies to mine]:
"Anything the UN says is good must be bad, and vice versa. So if the UN is saying that what's happened is bad, then it's most likely good, unless, of course, they have released this study for some other purpose without regard to the morality of the facts, like to hide a nefarious plot to steal the United States' sovereignty."

wow. it must be great for life to be that simple for you. :)

the UN also wants all the poor people of the world to be able to drink clean water like the rest of us.

they say it's because water with deseases, parasites and chemicals kill people. mainly children.

that must be wrong, eh?

you say the UN "will be the vehicle that antichrist uses in his rise to power"

that's a pretty big premise to go on by faith. like, if yer right, they are evil. if yer wrong, and like the WTO thing will be the world body for the antichrist [my econ prof says it already has 149 of 192 countries as members and more than 2 dozen more are in the process of joining], then yer gonna look like a freakin idiot. and kids will die from dirty drinking water and you'll have said that's not true cuz an evil organization said so.

what if world vision also says kids die from dirty drinking water. the world may be a bit more complext then u think.

"proof that men's brains are naturally more innocent than women's"

well. i'm a woman. i think kids in poor countries die from drinking water. u think the UN is for the antichrist so them saying so too makes it wrong. your brain may be more innocent, but it's maybe less wise/smart too. your logic needs some work.
in touch,
holly

Spanking and Sex

2006-03-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

ok. now that i've got that spanking thing outta the way, i should say i'm not into spanking or pain in sex.

i was spanked badly as a kid. maybe someday i'll get into it. but lately, can't say it's ok.

but if you get a thrill on it, live it up!

in touch,
holly

Christians Spanking

2006-03-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

i know this is sex tips for christian girls, but i have to divert into a tangent from BigChurch.com. here it is.

less than 12 hours ago, someone posted a poll asking if it's ok to spank kids.

when i voted no, the results were 14 to 4 in favour of it.

i was shocked and i said so. loudly.

i also warned any men in that site who voted yes to never ever ever contact me. they would sicken me.

and then i did a google search and found a bunch of sites where folks were using the bible to justify spanking. i know that stuff is in there, but really, all i felt when i read their arguments is this: "how much of a sick fuck must you be to try to find justification in the bible to hit a child?"

here is one crazy site supporting hitting kids:

http://www.microtech.com.au/balfour/Lectures/Issues/Spanking.htm

and here is http://stopspanking.com

finally, i sometimes wonder why society thinks christians are nuts.

seeking justification in the bible to hit a child is a pretty good example of why christians [sometimes deservedly] get a bad name.

in touch,
holly

My gorgeous photo on my blog...

2006-02-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

*** June 2007 update: guess.com took away the image I was using. too bad. she was hot, like me :)

is not me. :)

i'm no dog...woof.

but i'm also no moron. girls who post pix on the web can have them stolen and used for nafarious purposes.

like this pix...which i stole from guess.com.

i'm more hippy, but the basic shape and colouring is me.

in touch,
holly.

Feminism vs. Christianity?

2006-02-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

there was a great posting in a woman's blog in BigChurch.com about feminism and Jesus' relationships with women.

i LOVED it.

it just goes to show that the chauvenistic church of the day and ever since is quite strong.

add in the council of nicea where a bunch of guys in a sexist culture compile that bible while believing themselves to be divinely inspired and it's no surprise women are stuck where we are in Christianity today.

the fact that the church as a whole is not on the forefront of women's liberation just goes to show the extent of male domination still going on. at least SOME churches are open to women.

anyway, i posted a comment to that blog entry in BigChurch.com and i reprinted it here below the blog posting:

thought you women might be interested in this:

Feminist perspectives: Jesus was an
advocate of feminism and women's rights.

by Marilyn Adamson

Feminist perspectives have often criticized various religions for their treatment of women. They are absolutely right. Illustrations of religious abuse of females can be pointed out in the United States and internationally. What many feminist perspectives don't take into account is that Jesus would have been one of feminism's greatest allies.

Look at the culture in the Middle East where Jesus lived. Jewish rabbis began every temple meeting with the words, "Blessed art thou, O Lord, for thou has not made me a woman." Women were excluded from religious life and rarely taught the Torah in privacy. Yet Jesus publically included many women as his disciples, infuriating the religious leaders. He taught crowds of men and women and healed and performed miracles for women as readily as for men.

Jesus also challenged their sexist social laws. At that time there was a law allowing a husband to divorce his wife over anything, for example, dinner not being prepared on time. Imagine the insecurity and cruelty that this law brought to women. And, as you might expect, a wife could never divorce her husband. Jesus however announced that both woman and man had the right to divorce the other, but only on the grounds of adultery, and even then divorce was certainly outside of how God designed marriage to be.

Another law of their day required stoning to death any woman or man caught in adultery. Often the law was disregarded and the man had no penalty, just the woman. They wanted to know how Jesus would respond to a woman caught in adultery. So one day several men dragged a woman before Jesus, whom they had caught in bed with a man, probably with a friend of theirs. And they challenged Jesus to consent to her stoning. They knew they had Jesus in a no-win situation. If He gave her mercy, He was a wimp and an enemy of their law. If Jesus stoned her, then so much for His uniquely respectful treatment of women, and His teaching about mercy and forgiveness.

Jesus responded by saying that the person in the crowd who had never sinned should be the first one to throw a stone at her. It was probably Jesus' statement, but also His presence that affected the crowd. One by one they walked away. Jesus turned to the woman who was repentent and totally forgave her, as only God could.

Author Philip Yancey comments, "For women and other oppressed people, Jesus turned upside down the accepted wisdom of His day. According to biblical scholar Walter Wink, Jesus violated the mores of His time in every single encounter with women recorded in the four Gospels."

It makes sense that it was women who loved Him and stood at the cross of Jesus, when most of the male disciples fled for their lives. And it was women to whom Jesus first appeared after rising from the dead after His crucifixion. This is remarkable. Jesus' resurrection was proof of all of Jesus' statements in which He identified Himself as equal to God. Though women had little standing in that culture, and no religious authority as spokespersons, Jesus gave them the role of informing others of His resurrection. Why? Maybe Jesus wanted to solidify that it was for the sins of women and for men that He came to die. Maybe Jesus wanted women and men to know that He offers them complete forgiveness and can give them direction, peace, and eternal life.

[To read for yourself how Jesus interacted with women and what He said about eternal life, read "John" chapter 11 in the Bible.]

Be blessed in Jesus name.

and here was my comment on that posting:

LOVE this piece! thanks!

the second to last church i was at in my last town was really progressive. women could do all sorts of things...as long as that included working with kids downstairs or anything to do with food or drink.

education committee was a place i wanted to be, i want to be a teacher. i could teach non-teen kids school, but i couldn't sit on that committee. even though they knew i wanted to be a teacher, one WOMAN asked, "why did i want to sit on the committee though?"

all these things may be true about Jesus, but our culture is still patriarchal and in denial about gender equality. you'd think the church would be the most progressive place on the planet for liberating the oppressed.

no so much.

Sex Tip #1: Dorm Room Sexual Politics

2006-02-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

so, here's the post that got me kinda kicked out of BigChurch.com.

it's from Feb 8, 2006.

now, i totally see now that it's my bad. i kinda forgot the "rules" about profanity they have in there and i totally violated them.

in hind sight i'm not sure how i could have euphemism-ed the whole thing to get the point across without inspiring people to rat me out. at any rate they complained about this post, it got deleted [along with its comments] and my account got nuked. or maybe something just happened with my login. but anyway, i can't get in there with my old account anymore.

so here it is. and despite the bS about it, i still stand by what i wrote.

while i spent a year in rez at UBC in Vancouver before transfering away, i learned a number of things about boys [and girls too, but that's later]. so sex tip #1 for Christian girls--especially those of you who are young and just new to this site--goes like this: boys like to cum.

they'll do anything to cum. they seem to feel that's the only thing that matters. they'll do anything to do it. they masturbate tons. they look for girls dressed like they'll put out and they'll also try to guage the sexual willingness of girls dressed conservatively.

christian boys are the same. plenty have had sex and are trying to control it, but they still NEED to cum. they just have to be more discrete and political and diplomatic in getting it. even guys in here, which is fine if you ask me, but funny too.

the political thing about gender politics, however, comes when you know that he wants to have plenty of orgasms, preferably with a girl in stead of alone, and you can use that over/with him.

this world is heavily steeped in favour of men. society gives them tons of power. to socially equalize this situation, then, it's important to find ways of getting some power back...not to lord it over boys, but "to have equal capacity to act" [as my sociology TA once said, she was right].

so one of the things i learned in the dorms, not from Christian boys, predominantly [i'll get to them in a bit], is to turn their desire to cum into something you control.

case in point, brad. brad is a nice guy but he gets around and doesn't like relationships. no sweat. he's nice looking, plays rec hockey and has a nice pair of buns to squeeze. dorm room politics one night led to us rolling around on his bed playing a kind of doctor.

as he got aroused and started pushing to slip it to me, he was in this "i have to cum" place. this is where he doesn't really care what happens, as long as he cums. so i say, "hey, brad, why don't you take it out and show me how you masturbate. it'll really turn me on. i'd like to see it. i'd like to watch. and anyway, yer not getting inside me tonight anyway."

brad says ok. THEY ALL DO at this point. so then he whips it out and either takes a long time or a short time before squirting. it's quite fun to watch, of course. then he's less obsessed with needing to cum in you, or on you or in your mouth or on your face, or on your breasts, wherever they think it would be cool for you [and him, of course], even if they're wrong. whatever.

so the thing about the boys is that even if they're not exhibitionists, they'll likely do this for you. everyone's got a kind of exhibitionist-voyeur in them. for some people they just won't let it out cuz it's quite buried. but other people are quite eager to. he'll even be flattered that you want to watch.

now, even if you are interested in doing more than watching--like rubbing, touching, licking, sucking--the first time you do this with a particular boy, it's best to keep it to just watching. leave room for progression. boys are programmed [biologically or socially, whatever] to try to slide their penis in you [any part of you] whenever and however they can. there's a great deal of urgency too. they'd do it on the first night if they could and then where do you have to progress to.

the other thing, is that even tho he can bring himself to orgasm on his own, thank you very much, he'll be pretty moved if you do more than just sit there watching. rubbing bits of you that feel good, breasts or pussycat, unbuttoning a few buttons, sliding your bra around or the strap down...all these things are pretty effective for keeping him in the mood.

being aluring for him too is good practice for you to enjoy your body for your own pleasure and for social fun.

so, the whole don't be unequally yoked thing comes up. plenty of christians are unequally yoked and things work fine. and sometimes it doesn't work out. but that's also equally true of marriages among believers.

and if yer in a dorm room just fooling around, should you be yoked to a Christian? sure? no? it's up to you. you're not getting married. you're going to be experimenting with your body and feeling either guilt or pleasure from it. i hope it's pleasure.

what you do with non-Christian boys will also work with Christian boys. they usually will just be a little less pushy about getting inside you.

the church ladies who roam around in here will have different advice for you. it's worth listening to, but then you've heard that all before anyway.

if you listen to them, you may find yourself in your late 20s, engaged, then married, still a virgin, spending the first mannnnnnnny awkward months of your marriage learning how to be sexual with anything less than pitch black. my divorced Anglican cousin Julie endured this. bad news. more about her in a little while.

also, if you get married without ever having had an orgasm, i'll just weep for you. female orgasms are not biblically banned. boys' are. that's their problem. [actually, it's not...it becomes ALL our problem, which is why i'm a fan of them ultimately].

in the end, i honour my body. i respect what feels good and what i wish to do. i honour that in other people too. i'm not an ascetic. i don't beat myself with branches. Jesus is my friend and understands life in a body. the lack of Jesus' sexuality in the bible is curious to me and a tad unrealistic. but, whatever.

in your dorm room or wherever, it's important to respect yourself, to acknowledge your feelings, desires, and pleasures and engage in life responsibly.

keep your head out of the sand.

in touch,
holly.

Reverent Agnosticism

2006-02-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

it's important to take the plank out of our eyes before criticizing the speck in someone else's.

this message is lost...or at best i think de-prioritized...by fundamentalist Christians.

they go around judging because more important verses in the bible tell them to fix the world and make it in there image, which they believe is Jesus' image.

the theocracy that that Bush guy in the USA is pushing is just that kinda thing. it's all about what he believes. other opinions and facts that don't fit his view don't matter. Iraq had WMDs? sure they did cuz he believes it to be so. screw the facts. they're in charge so they must be right.

the Christians i can tolerate best are not those who go around with the church lady frown condemning everyone and changing everyone. even though they're full of sin too.

MY priorities make it important to love people first, not judge them.

now, i haven't read too much on reverent agnosticism, but i have heard some things on it. i heard it's a kinda humanist anti-religion thing. but i'm not sure about that. the best i've heard of it came from the organist at a church i was at in Vancouver for a while before their sexist views drove me away.

he said reverent agnosticism is something Christians can hold along with their faith in Jesus. it's a kinda humility position where we do our best to understand the bible as best we can and pick our denomination and all that. but at the same time as being reverent as best we can, we should not be so certain as to say that we're right and all other denominations or even religions are wrong.

like, believe in what i believe, but hold open the possibility that when i die, Jesus will mention that i wasn't totally right.

after all, how likely is it for any one religion to have totally got it right when the similar or far away denominations are so wrong. it's an imperfect world and it's hard to see that any one faith is exactly correct.

to believe so, you might as well be President George W Bush where you get to make up whatever you want cuz God put you in charge of all those nukes.

gimme a break!

in touch,
holly.

And then some ambiguity...

2006-02-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

after the post with all the honesty, someone else tossed a comment in. my comments follow it.

Woo! I was hoping i was reading this wrong and actually it is ashame I read it at all. How sad, and I hope nobody takes your advice. May the lord open your eyes, it breaks my heart when people are deceived. Yes God is Good, but His word is very clear.May you truly come to know Him, May he reveal and touch your life.

i wasn't sure if she was saying she hoped she was reading my post wrong or hoping she read the comment full of honesty incorrectly.

judging by the remainder of her comment i think she was dismayd at me.

in response, i gotta say this. i know God. God is awesome. He loves me tons. he respects me and honours me as his creation and i honour him. i clearly don't agree with this person's sense of sex, but in her eyes, that makes me blind.

how sad. again, this brings me to another reference to this reverent agnosticism idea. more on that later.

in touch,
holly

And then some honesty...

2006-02-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

so after my initial posting, which was pretty tame, got some angry judgement, someone else piped in with some HONESTY! her post is below with my comments following it.

Hi Sex4Holly

I found your post amusing. I am not surprise that there is alot of sex going on in Christian clubs or in Christian churches. 20 years ago I got saved at 20 in a Pentecostal Church. I went to a Sunday school class called the 'College Class' because 60% of the kids were in college. About 25% of the kids were newly saved kids who never heard of church life. I came from a Baptist background but my parents and the people I lived around pretty much lived for themselves. There was no talk about salvation, personal relationship with Christ, living holy before the Lord, or Christianity. We I got saved I was surrounded by kids who were 3rd and 4th generations of there grandparents and moms and dads who had grew up in the church. This church was well known in the community. As a new believer I was excited about my relationship with the Lord and so glad to be around kids who knew scriptures as they rolled off their tongues. They could talk the talk of Christian terminology. I was however surprised to find out that as I had come out of the world many of the kids were in it and I mean in it! The Christian guys had no boundaries when trying to feel you up as men in the world did when I was in it. The kids would sit in their cars in the church parking lot at night and do it, neck, feel you up, name and it it was done. I know this because a few of the girls told me the church parking lot at night was one of the many hang out places the kids went to. I remember telling a new brother in the Lord I had become friends with if this was really true and he said, what did you think that all these people are really saved?' I remember the word had got to the youth pastor what had been going on for a long time and about how many of the kids in ministry were hitting the town and going to some rough secular clubs. I remember the youth pastor telling the kids that if they were going to live for Jesus they were going to have to allow Jesus to be Lord over their lives. Some kids left the church, some said the pastor was coming down to hard and yet others came to the altar and repented. That day I ask Jesus to take away the sexual desire I had in the world. I knew if I wanted my relationship with the Lord to work that had to go.

I am glad you are being honest with were you are at.

Honest sex talk in the Christian community is taboo. Trust me Christians are having sex outside of marriage. I use to volunteer at the Pregnancy Resource Center and there were Christian woman coming in have pregnancy test who were not married and very scared. The Christian community needs to get off the fence on this important issue within the Christian community. The devil is selling sex, talking about sex, advertising about sex to every age 24/7 365 days of the year. Once in a blue-moon the subject of sex will be talked about. Many churches don't want to believe that their youth are engaged in sexual activity or that their single men and woman are engaged in sexual activity. If you denied the problem exist then it does not need to be discussed. The body of Christ needs to deal with this libido issue in a realistic, compassionate and loving way a responsible father who watches out for his kids future would do.

whew.

i'm not saying she totally agrees with me or believes what i do or whatever, and that doesn't matter. she at least recognizes the REALITY of life. i'm not kidding about the beyond-hand-holding that goes on in churches and Christian university groups.

and i'm not kidding about the cybersex in BigChurch.com itself.

and i'm not kidding about the girls i chatted in there about their sexual history and beliefs and how they run up against sexist church teaching and practice.

and i'm not kidding about what some of the men in their 40s expressed to me in IM sessions in BigChurch.com.

reality is reality and regardles of what people think it ought to be, it is what it is and there's a lot of folks who aren't guilted out by their activities. that's gotta say something about the amount of people who aren't "bible-beliving" in BigChurch.com, or are maybe just hypocrites.

not that Christian hypocrites are rare or anything. i'm sure one. like tons of others i guess. but i do my best. reverent agnosticism helps. more on that later.

one thing that stands out in this response is this "I ask Jesus to take away the sexual desire I had in the world. I knew if I wanted my relationship with the Lord to work that had to go."

i just can't see that. i know all the verses about heterosexual sex only within marriage. but this kind of self-oppression before marriage and voluntary repression cannot be healthy in the long run. with so much sexual sin and suffering inside Christian marriages, i think the cold shower theology is to blame.

and then, "Honest sex talk in the Christian community is taboo. Trust me Christians are having sex outside of marriage...The Christian community needs to get off the fence on this important issue within the Christian community." i totally agree with this. honesty means truth telling which leads to shame and guilt and realizing that the church isn't really being the church.

and if you define yourself as a church, you sure don't wanna hear about it not being so.

but on this point, i have a different take, "The devil is selling sex, talking about sex, advertising about sex to every age 24/7 365 days of the year."

as sex is stolen by marketing and violent and disrespectful sexmongerers, people, ESPECIALLY GIRLS AND WOMEN in our culture need to talk more to make sure we protect ourselves: from STDs, losers, violators, people who guilt you into doing stuff and anything that disrespects us, our emotions and our bodies.

in touch,
holly

A fine start to my BigChurch.com blog

2006-02-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

so as i said, i was in BigChurch.com for a couple years. for many months originally i was in there pretty regularly then over the last 1.5 years only sporadically as my real life picked up steam. then a few weeks ago i went back in more regularly and started a blog to continue my relationship with ideas and folks in there. i also wanted to discuss sexuality with other young women from the point of view of what i'd learned.

bad idea. at least it seemed initially.

here was the first response to my first blog posting that i copied into my previous post here. i've got some more comments after it.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

The Lord calls sex outside of marriage an abomination...in others words I'm sorry for where you'll be going if you don't turn from your sinful ways.

Why do people call themselves Christian while they continue to sin.

Thats like slapping Christ in the face.

i totally know where this guy is coming from. people from conservative churches have been spouting this for some time now it seems.

this post is indicative of lots of stuff i got in response to beginning my blog and to my presence in chatrooms ever since i entered that site.

the thing about the breadth of Christianity, though, is that not all churches are so conservative. these bible-believing [code for biblically inerrant, like reading the bible literally] folks believe all other Christians aren't really Christians. the churches that welcome homosexuals aren't churches. and people who don't agree with them are simply burning in hell.

in touch,
holly.

Why this blog?

2006-02-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

happy valentines day!

this blog is the evolution of the last couple years of my life as a single Christian girl, particularly my time in the website BigChurch.com, which is a fascinatingly strange place.

i went in there as i was becoming increasingly disillusioned with my church and its anti-woman, sexually oppressive stance. duh. sexual liberation and the related mental health that comes from that seems kinda opposite to traditional christianity. i went into that website to begin, in an anonymous way, to discuss sexual liberation. i was met mostly with church lady hostility, some frank and meaningful conversation with men and women, and strangely more than a few men in their 40s cruising for me.

so this blog is a place for my stories from that site and the things i've learned from it and other experiences. my travels took me from my hometown of Penticton, BC to Vancouver [UBC, ugh] to another ville-de-higher-learning in western Canada.

here's what i wrote when i started a blog in BigChurch.com a few weeks ago, a blog that got tons of flack. you can read it and its comments without logging in if you click on that link a couple lines up.

well, i'm no longer in greater penticton. in the last couple years i've been to UBC and now i'm at another institution of higher learning [and tuition gouging] in western Canada. not saying where.

i've had a good time on this site and in real life hanging out with non-christians [learning how to appreciate micro-brew beers] and christians [some of whom appreciate micro-brews too, good on ya]. Inter-varsity Christian Fellowship and a couple other Chrstian groups and a borderline cult [i think] have been interesting places to chill.

and it's interesting how much sex goes on in Christian clubs. sex of all kinds. and lots of no-sex frustration in dating and relationships. and then there's the gringding, dry humping, petting, minor masturbation and oral sex that surround dating in and around Christian clubs.

at any rate, life is good, the Lord is good to me and my body is a temple. it's important to enjoy it!

so girls, let's go! keep it real and don't censor yourself. it stunts you and keeps you from honesty. woo-hoo!

in touch,
holly.